Sometimes I wish

I could be calm. 

A placid river at midnight, reflecting the moon on its shimmering surface

Or a shooting star, flying free through the sky,

Granting everyone’s wishes,

Without having any wishes of its own.

Sometimes I wish

I was someone else.

A person who didn’t think about everyone and everything.

Maybe a little kid whose only concern 

Is their broken pencil

Or their lost hair tie.

Someone who isn’t perfectionistic

Isn’t awkward

Isn’t anxious 

Isn’t fidgety

Isn’t me.

Sometimes I wish that

I didn’t care.

That I didn’t feel the weight of the world

Constantly bearing down on my shoulders.

That I didn’t think it was my responsibility 

To solve every

single

  problem

the universe has ever known.

That I didn't feel worthless every day 

For living life as a thirteen-year-old should.

Sometimes I wish 

I could be confident.

That I could look into the mirror and be happy with what's there.

That I wasn’t the kid who brings a book everywhere

And escapes into another world

When the world they’re living in is too much.

Sometimes I wish that I didn't need constant validation,

reassurance that I mattered,

That despite my weaknesses, I have strengths,

That I am okay just the way I am.

Sometimes I wish 

I could let go.

Of my feelings

my faults

my failures

my future.

Sometimes I wish

I could be calm.