He didn’t have a drink of choice.

Whatever could calm his nerves.

I told myself it was just one glass,

Just one drink.

Until one turned into five.

I’d watch him finish them all,

No drop left behind.

But then he’d fall asleep.

Sometimes she tried to stop him from pouring another.

That’s when the yelling would start.

I told myself it was just a little fight,

He’d be better in the morning.

Until he didn’t wake up to take me to school.

Growing up they always told me not to be the parent.

But after we moved out, I had to be.

He wasn’t good at being alone,

So he drowned the pain in alcohol.

I told myself I had to protect him,

So I’d try to take the drink away

Until he poured himself another.

I know they tried to hide the problems.

But nothing could drown out the screaming.

I told myself that everyone’s families were like this,

That it was normal.

Until I realized it wasn’t.

I tell people he’s better now.

That he used to be a lot worse.

But I still can’t get that drink out of his hand.

So I let him fall asleep,

And I tell myself that I’m doing the right thing,

That he’s better when he’s asleep.

Until he wakes up the next day,

And drinks again.