One Year compared to a 15 years

365 days compared to 5475 days

One Year of compassion

15 years of neglect

365 days of attempting to care

5475 days of not caring at all

15 years of trying to have a family

One year of leaving them behind

One year does not make up the difference

Of the lifetime of abuse you’ve given me

I wish I had my family in my life

But now

Now it’s just me

For you had your chance to be my family

You had your chance to show that you cared

You threw your chance over the course

The course of 15 years

And now you want it back

But when the void consumes all hope

What's gone may never come back

15 years of trying to be happy

15 years of trying

Now I sit in my desolate place

With that sinking feeling deep in my chest

Which radiates throughout and throughout my body

And as the days go on it only gets stronger

As the days go on it only gets deeper

For one year of you trying to care

Does not make up the 15 years of you being gone

When I need you most you just seem to vanish

When you need me I’m always right there

Acting like you care does nothing to me

For that’s all it is

Just acting

Acting in a play by yourself

And I'm the audience

Watching as you attempt to persuade me that these things you say to me are real

That you really mean them and that you aren’t just putting on a play.

One year

365 days

That’s the time that’d you’ve tried to care

Never even noticing that for the past 4 years

The past 1460 days

I’ve been struggling along

Deep in my own depression

The depression in my life which I have dug

For was I not good enough for you

Or were you too good for me

One year

365 days

Is nothing to me