To start this off, I want to clear up any potential confusion with this poem:

Hi, I’m gay and don't worry--the closets been empty for years.

Now I may be confident enough NOW to say that but I couldn’t say that I was years ago.

It festered away and confused me for a long time,

I didn't know how I felt inside and no one could put into words to describe it...

Until the spring of 2013.

I heard the song Same Love by Macklemore in my brother’s truck.

He starts off with the line “When I was in the third grade, I thought that I was gay.”

My brother kinda laughed at it a bit, but I had the songs full attention.

I just sat there and listened to the song in its entirety.

I had finally found the words to describe it.

This song helped me feel not alone anymore.

I had a similar feeling when I went to St. Louis pride for the first time.

My dad didn't understand why there was a parade just for being gay,

But I saw more than just that.
I saw people just have a good time,

Leaving behind all prejudices and just being themselves.

It was liberating!

Seeing boyfriends being able to actually hold hands in public.

That alone amazed me.

They were holding hands without disgusted gazes or ignorant comments.

Everyday I walk the hallways and see couples close and hands locked.

Now I think it's super cute, honestly, but I have such an envy for it.

To use another quote from the song:

“Kids are walking ‘round a hallway--plagued by a pain in their heart.”

That envy was gone at pride.

I felt completely comfortable and just happy.

I was finally myself!

Without the representation in the form of a parade,

I wouldn't have that.

Without that Macklemore song to help me understand who I am,

I wouldn’t have that.

So to any one who’s sitting in their car listening to the radio or watching their favorite TV show:

You can have that one piece of media that resonates with you like Same Love did for me.

It may be confusing but just know...

You're not alone.