I wasn’t ready to say goodbye.

But you went anyway.

I had so much to tell you.

But I will never get a chance to.

I wanted you to meet my friends.

But now you will never get a chance to.

It’s crazy how fast life passes by.

You were here one day and gone the next.

You kept saying that Jesus was coming.

Not an angel but Jesus himself.

You told the doctors that you can see Jesus.

You told my grandma that you weren’t ready to die yet.

She told it was too late for that.

You were so happy and bright.

You were so loving and kind.

Even on the days that seemed dark.

You put a little light in them.  

So I could find my way.

You always knew what to say.

To make someone have a good day.

You always had a pot of coffee ready.

And you’d sit at your table for hours,

Just talking to someone who needed you.

You were a protector.

You were a friend.

You were a mom.

A grandma.

And you were my aunt.

There’s not a day that I don’t miss you.

There’s not a day that I don’t think of you.

When I had no one,

You were there for me.

Even when I didn’t know it.

You put a roof over my head.

You put clothes on my back.

You put food in my stomach.

You made sure the days I spent with you were fun and stress less.

And for that I thank you.

You always had a sparkle in your smile.

You lit up a room when you walked in it.

You made the best cheesy spaghetti.

You were my best friend.

You were my mom when I didn’t have one.

You were the reason I kept fighting.

You were the reason I kept trying.

You were the reason I still had faith and hope.

But since you’ve left I’ve lost both.

I don’t have faith nor hope anymore.

Honestly, I’m a bit lost in the world.

I just don’t understand why you had to go.

Out of all the people that could have gone why did the one person I love most have to.

You were a fighter.

And a damn good one at that.

You held on to your faith.

Even when things went back.

You had hope that Jesus was coming.

So much to the point where you actually saw him.

You believed that you were going to heaven.

You held on to that for all of your life.

You kept fighting.

Even when you knew it was a lost cause.

You were and are my hero.  

You showed me that anything was possible.

You showed me how to find beauty in anything.

You showed me that every person has good in them.

Even the murders and rapist in prison.

You showed how to be positive in a really bad situation.

You were the reason I tried to be a good person.

But you're gone.

And I’ve never felt more alone.

I feel like I can’t talk to anyone about how I feel.

I feel like they won’t get it.

I feel like they won’t care.

I feel like they will just tell me to get over it cause you’ve been gone for a while.

But how do you move on from losing someone that meant the world to you?

How do you move on from losing someone that pretty much raised you?

You don’t and that’s what they don’t get.

You only learn how to deal with it.

And honestly, I still don’t know how to deal with it.

It still doesn’t feel real.

You being gone just seems like a nightmare.

That I can’t wake up from.  

I miss you every single day.

And I just wanna see your face.

I just wanna hear your voice.

I just wanna hug you.

Just one last time.

But that will never happen.

Because you passed away.  

What hurts me the most about you leaving.

Is the fact that I never got to say goodbye.

I never got to tell you I love you one last time.

There was so much I wanted to tell.

But now I will never get a chance to.  

Because your gone and I was too late.

I just hope that you see me now.

From where you are.

And I hope that you are proud of me.

Because that would mean so much,

If I knew that I made you proud.

Rest In Peace Aunt Donna.

Your memory will stay with me forever.