i am an impenetrable wall of steel

born on the backs of indifferent workers

mended by half way sympathizers and welded together by lies

that ran like black ink across every part of my name

there is no garden of eden

no meadows of flowers

blooming one on top of another until they collide into paisley wonders

no sunrises no sunsets

because how can i let go of darkness from my scarred hands

if there is no light to force it away

there is no room

for sunlight

for hope

for life

to seep through the other side

they are blocked by preconceived notions

and courage that when turned on its side is weakness

when will the truth finally find its way to my lips

when will i finally be able to admit that i am nothing more than a fraud

a poor mason who has tricked the world into thinking

i am more of a person than i really am  

who has built a shaking brick wall instead

sewn together by thin string and sloppy stitches

because i am not a seamstress

my fingers are no longer nimble and small

but crowded with broken ends and frayed parts

i am tired of the world demanding more strength

than what it originally asked for

because can’t you see i’m barely treading water

i am tired of rebuilding and so i wait

in the empty spaces of my heart

for someone to patch my brick wall

but i have them all fooled

they still think i am made of steel

when i am nothing more than faraway dreams turned to dust