The Pills Were Why. | Teen Ink

The Pills Were Why.

November 30, 2018
By KingCheezii BRONZE, Voorhees, New Jersey
KingCheezii BRONZE, Voorhees, New Jersey
2 articles 0 photos 0 comments

The pills were why.
I gazed at my life fly by.
Like a haze of, blurry light.
Oh the pills.
The pills were why.

On a chilly autumn night.
When the terror came forth.
Flames of hell,
Had strayed to the over-world.

Oh but a year not far from seventy eight.
Forty four, colder than the night before.
The wind mourned.
Strangely howling at my door.
The warmest flames.
Had forbid comfort.
Even in those frigid hours.

Oh but how fatigued I was.
Life and dream.
It seemed indistinguishable.
Napping under my sofa.
Shifting per every breath.

My legs felt like metal beams.
The television humming in my dreams.

My happy pills.
Why hadn’t I taken them?
Oh why I remember?
The dreams of lonesome sorrow.

Fear looms in its seekers.
Fear resides in its enemies.
Fear nests upon innocents.
Fear is failure.
But how?
But why?
The pills were why.

Only vaguely do I seek.
Memories cowering in the depth.
Shadows cast in blood.
At least what’s left.

Had I awoke with a start?
Only god knows.
No sound surface the house.
Other than my racing heart.
I wanted to cry.
But why?
The pills.
The pills were why.

And I sat.
In the lifeless night.
Not a strand of light showed.

Then what next?
Oh.
The television flickered on.
With a painful glow.

Light
Oh it pierced through me.
My eyes.
My body.
My soul.
Never had I wanted darkness.
Never had I wanted it more.

I saw it.
Though it saw itself.

Time slowed.
Oh how I felt it go.
From life to death I flowed.
It pulled its weight.
Into my world.

Oh how I remember.
The life stolen from its eyes.
My voice swollen with hideous cries.
As it stood.
Staring at a man of lies.
Of pain.
Only now do I know.
It was staring at itself.

Oh how I remember.
The wraith of breath.
Rising from its mouth of death.
Dried blood flaked.
Fresh had faded.

Let If be known.
The monster that took me,
That took my life.
Was that of myself.
It took me to the other side.
It devoured my mind.
The monsters name.
Many have said.
Rides in our head.
But why do we ignore such,
Evil.
The pills
The pills are why.


The author's comments:

I’ve always had this fascination for the human mind. Our species is so intelligent, yet even knowledge kills. I’ve wondered about this for quite a while and came across the study of mental illness. I don’t have any mental health problems personally but to even imagine your mind, all of your memories and experiences, just corrupting like a computer file. It’s scary, though curiosity bested me. I wrote this poem as if I was in the mindset of a man suffering from Schizophrenia, and how it made him take his own life. It’s definetly a sad poem but I wrote it to bring attention to problems of mental health. 


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