The unfairness of it all!

To love something with my whole being and to be told that I can’t.

That I can’t because someone else,

Someone less talented,

With less passion,

Is older.

That the only thing stopping me

Is

A small number next to my name

A number that no one else knows

That

Doesn’t

Even

Matter

It didn’t matter until now

When it crushes my soul

With the weight of the

Hopes and Dreams

That have been

Stopped in their tracks

These hopes and dreams

They were not marching onward,

But skipping,

Jumping

And dancing

Catching the light,

Glittering and

Spinning

As they live

They are not just alive

But they live

Mid leap,

When I felt the highest,

I was suddenly stopped,

Grabbed round the throat

And thrown to the ground

While I try to gather the splintered remains of the dance

The joy,

The leap,

The hope,

Someone says leave it.

Leave it,

You can’t have those.

You can’t have the joy.

You don’t need the leap,

Or the dance.

And why would you want the hope?

You are to young.

You are too young, so I will take these pieces of your life

And I will leave them in a dusty corner.

They will be forgotten.

But you cannot do anything about it.

All because of a small,

Insignificant

Number

A small unknown number that now defines you

Limits you

Hides you

And stops you

The unfairness of it all!

I want to lay there,

Crumbled,

Broken on the ground.

But I can’t

I can’t because that is not what they expect

They expect a smile

A happy greeting

A laugh

That is what they expect

And That

Is What I

Must

Do

If I don’t

Then comes the concern

The pity

The uncertainty

What to do with the

Once happy

But now broken person?

And I don’t want that

If they are happy,

I can hide it.

I hide the broken shattered pieces of me,

Hiding them,

So that they are never found,

So they never hurt anyone else

I can pretend,

I can act,

So long as they are happy

So I hide the tears

I hide the fury,

The frustration,

The hurt

Because as they see it,

I am always happy.

I have no problems.

So I act

I become as the great Shakespearean actresses of old

I am happy to the world

But inside,

A storm rages,

The likes of which the world has never seen.

A storm to make hurricanes

Tremble in its wake,

To make monsoons jealous,

To cause a Sahara sand storm to give up

And watch the fearsome majesty

Of near-tangible

Rage and Frustration,

With a dash of heartbreak and a pinch of despair on the side

Snap.

A small sound,

But one of impending doom

In a single moment,

Everything is loose.

I am no longer the happy,

Helpful One of Laughter

I am now the Close to Tears,

Shaking wreck that tries to hide

It only lasts an hour

Before I

Figuratively slap my own face

I am done with this

Done with the storm,

Done with the act,

Done with the unfairness

For the first time,

I

Fight

Back

I don’t hold it in,

I don’t act,

I don’t smile and tell myself that it’s okay.

I

Fight

I unleash the beast

More fearsome than a pride of lions

And I fight

I make someone understand

That this is discrimination

At the very least

I threaten to leave forever,

I tell them that this,

This

Is

Wrong

I take the dusty bits of joy,

Dance, l

Leap,

And most of all,

Hope

I take my hope back and say

“Give me a chance!”

Because that is all it takes

To give someone a chance

It’s all they will ever want

You shouldn't have to fight like I did.