Brother | Teen Ink

Brother MAG

October 1, 2018
By TobiasEliot DIAMOND, San Diego, California
TobiasEliot DIAMOND, San Diego, California
53 articles 0 photos 56 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I love you as certain dark things are to be loved, in secret, between the shadow and the soul." -Pablo Neruda

My brother handed me anger at a young age

He served violence as his gift to me

He directed his agitated fists at my body

And now he is the reason I have taught myself to be gentle

Because he made every day a battleground,

His emotions became my bruises

I learned to duck and dodge and swerve

I learned to turn myself into stone

Cool, steady, unbreakable

I learned how to melt into corners and hide beneath blankets

I learned how to turn my head so instead
of my nose his fist would hit my cheek

I learned how to fear anger and hands and knuckles and palms and mouths

The one thing I never learned was how
to fight back

Instead I took the blows and words

Absorbing them into my fragile bird body

And it turned me into a hardened, distant boy

Hiding behind walls

Cringing from touches and gestures and skin

I have never had the audacity to speak venom

I have never had the right to howl anger

He took that from me

I have never had the courage to hit anything but a wall

I never got to feel safe around men who raised their voices

He took that from me, he took so much

And … and … now he has turned me
into a boy who is afraid of anger

Afraid that there is a piece of him inside me

Afraid that I could become him

Afraid, afraid, afraid

They say I got my eyes from my grandmother

My humor from my father

My body from my mother

So thank you, brother

Because it looks like all I got from you 

Is fear 

Similar Articles


This article has 3 comments.

on Aug. 9 2020 at 9:40 pm
BrokenBranches BRONZE, Mansfield, Texas
1 article 0 photos 10 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Do not tell me sky is the limit when there is a footprint on the moon." -Paul Brandt

Thank you for writing this!

on Jan. 4 2020 at 11:36 pm
noelleluck166 BRONZE, Chester Springs, Pennsylvania
1 article 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
"Things are always better in the morning" -Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird

This is absolutely beautiful and tragic

starzx said...
on Aug. 14 2019 at 9:48 am
starzx, Manhattan, New York
0 articles 0 photos 98 comments
This is beautiful, I can feel the emotion. Keep writing!