I swept all that I had under the rug

to let you into my home.

I didn't realize how much of myself I had to hide from you

to accept me as I was.

that should have been the first sign.

I dusted my broken down furniture

so it could be presentable for you.

I made my walls shine like white porcelain.

I wanted you to accept me.

when you walked in that should have been the second sign.

because your shoes tracked in dirt and mud

I didn't need on my new white welcome mat.

and you stayed because I constantly fixed my home to fit your needs.

and I didn't realize it, but my walls were no longer white porcelain;

they were now chipped wallpaper, peeling

to the floor.

I picked at it when I was bored.

I let you stay and sit on my couch

with your mud soaked shoes and I never once consider that you were hurting me.

that you were destroying me.

breaking me.

and my true feelings piled up under that rug, they piled so high you couldn't watch the TV you were so addicted to besides me.

and then you left.

because the needs you wanted weren't mind to provide.

it took some time, but I revealed all my feelings out from under that rug and

the walls became non-existent.

no more porcelain.

no more clean furniture.

just me with all my feeling with the static of the television on full blast, it was such a blur

to not have you by my side and

I broke under all the invisible weight I put on myself.

and then I took a breath.

and I started to rub out the stains of your dirt filled shoes on my welcome mat.