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Lie Down to Sleep
I think I may lie down to sleep;
I’ve forgotten how to swim and the river’s too deep.
My ears are ringing and my feet are tired,
I can hardly speak a word and my brain’s just wired.
I’ve been walking along and feeling hollow,
I know more pain is bound to follow,
So what if now I just stopped walking?
Maybe my mind would just quit talking.
I think I may lie down to sleep;
I’ve been climbing this mountain but now it’s too steep.
My hands are sore and my legs are weary,
I’m out of breath and I can’t see clearly.
This world has always been a little too sharp to my touch,
And honestly I feel like it’s all too much.
But in this painful world, what has always been most rough
Is feeling as though no matter what, I could never be enough.
So I think I may lie down to sleep,
For there’s nothing in me left to keep.
My shoulders are heavy and my body is aching,
My soul is empty and my heart is breaking.
I couldn’t count how many times I’ve cried
And it’s never mattered how hard I’ve tried,
So I just want to be where there’s light and blue skies;
Maybe I will finally see it, when I close my eyes.
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For a teenager – or really, just for a person – I've been through a lot in life (although I know people always go through more than they let on... We all go through a lot). These experiences have been immensely challening and painful, but they've shaped me as a human being. I've been working through my past and healing as much as I possibly can, but some days I still feel like how I describe in my poem "Lie Down to Sleep." I know now that these feelings won't kill me; that I can tolerate the heartache even if it seems intolerable. I write poetry to work through these hard times and get the thoughts and feelings out of my mind and body and onto paper.
And to the wonderful, beautiful, strong human beings that can deeply relate to this: keep going. You've made it so far. It's not time to sleep yet. Trust me, there's a lot to be awake for; there's a lot to be alive for.