She turns to the wall

Unable to face me

I know she is crying

And doesn't want me to see

She falls to the floor in a disoriented heap

My heart goes out

But our feelings run too deep

She's a mess and I can't help her

She looks up at me through tear-stained eyes

You're all I have left

I wasted my life on this

But it's not just you, it's not my fault

I miss him too

I know it hurts, but

Leaving was the only thing that he could do

When she picks herself up, her eyes are red

Her dress of coal is torn and

She acts like he is dead

I wish I could tell her how I feel

How sorry I am, how I love her

My voice box is broken

Her hand shakes as she signs

Her signature

On the divorce papers that arrived this morning

But it stops when

She picks up the phone and dials the number for

Social services

The lump in my throat gets bigger

I find it hard to swallow

Tears of my own burn the back of my eyelids

I refuse to allow them to fall

And she doesn't say a word

All week she immerses herself in cooking

Seafood and baklava and

Teriyaki chicken and oxtails with white rice

Then she disposes of it

She doesn't make a sound

Just packs my suitcase

Clothes and shoes and socks

But not my stuffed elephant

From daddy