It was a bright, shining day,
When I was only three,
I was just walking away,
And I ran into a tree.

I squashed my nose and hit my rump,
I got a huge knot on my forehead,
I ended up with a big, fat lump,
And all I could think about was a hospital bed.

When I went home crying “Oh Mommy!”
She came outside from watching TV,
All she could say was “What happened Bonnie?”
I thought it was cute; she was so worried about me.

Mommy cried, “I’m calling 911!”
I thought to myself, at least I had fun.
She was screaming at the phone,
And checking to see if I had broken bones.

She threw me in the car,
And she about ran into the bar.
Mommy sped the whole way there,
She even left her curlers in her hair.

Once we got to the doctor,
He said, “You poor child!
How does your mother deal with you?
You must be wild!”

I ended up getting stitches,
And a few band aids.
The bruises gave me twitches,
And doctor sure enjoyed getting paid.

When I was three and ran into a tree,
I sure learned my lesson.
Never turn around to look and see,
Who might be behind you undressin’.