When I was younger I was made fun of I never looked at life the same way ever again…
When I got called all those names I believed most of them were true. Today I still have a poor self image. I probably always will.

In third grade my first wall was put up when I was called a b****. One of the next walls was in 4th grade when I was pulling out my hair because of an OCD called trichotillomania. 5th grade I was picked on and thought people were my friends when they really weren’t and still aren’t. 6th grade I was called head lice then in 7th and 8th grade I was called dog once again because of the OCD.

5th grade was the year I started writing poetry about killing myself and cutting.My parents put me through theropy. Pills personality disorders and mood swings. It felt like the Up was the top of mt.everest and the Down was the bottom of the sea... I found out I had bipolar and social anxiety (well no wonder why the social anxiety) those brought more teasing pain and tears. Uncontrollable urges to just yell at anyone who was in my way or tried to help then the images of killing people who made fun of me very slowly and painfully. All that was in 5TH GRADE!!!

But I didn’t kill them and I was tortured and tormented by the kids in class. what happened I hated and regret to this day I was so upset with a kid I slapped him only got ISS so that was good.I started to eraser burn my skin I would also cut it with knives and scissors. It was better than hurting someone else in my mind and plus it calmed me down. It made me feel like I could carry on like I could do anything... like I was alive…
Then more pills from the doctors…

the kids at school would make fun of me more and more and more… People don’t realize the hurt they put me through. The question is Do they really care that in 8th grade I tried to commit suicide by taking a razor to my leg trying to find that one little artery that runs down the mid thigh? To this day I still have a scar.

I was so messed up, until I found a really good friend who was there for me when the going got tough. He was there when I was crying and he still would give anything to make me feel better. That was when my walls came crashing down. He was the first person I truly trusted he is my boyfriend now and I know we will have eachother’s backs no matter what.

In my opinion we need to break down our walls we have in our minds and start to love every one for who they are. accept their imperfections and get along because walls start wars. Wars cause pain hurt and sorrow. Start with yourself look in the mirror tonight and say, “I am beautiful or handsome and I matter so do others around me we are all different but that’s no reason to make fun of an underdog.”

then maybe you will love someone fully. Let me change that You WILL love someone fully if you love yourself, have faith and believe in You.

Make a difference in the world! smile at the next person you see. Love and you will be loved.
so I leave you with  a couple questions….

Will you change the world to better place and help others?
Or,
Will you leave the world in an even worse state than it is now?

It is all up to you…