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Polyphemus Sees a Shrink
Therapist: Dear Polyphemus,
What do you say
We talk about your issues?
You're large, you're blind, your only eye
Is gone! Shall I continue?
Polyphemus: Oh no,my shrink,I just came
To vent and to complain
I will not rest until that jerk
Odysseus is slain!
Therapist: Oh Polyphemus, you seem so vexed
Pray tell,how did it happen?
Why do you hate Odysseus so,
Explain why your eye is lacking
Polyphemus:You see, he came into my home
And gave me quite a fright
He demanded gifts, and what I did
Was eat his friends that night!
Therapist:Okay...
Polyphemus: Morning came, and then I left to go and herd my sheep
I figured that when I got back
It was him I’d surely eat!
Therapist: Right...
Polyphemus: When I came back
I found out that
He had possesed some wine
He gave it to me as a gift
I should’ve known something wasn’t right!
Therapist: S what I understand is...you got drunk?
Polyphemus: Correct.
Therapist: Okay. Continue.
Polyphemus: Drunk I was and it so happened
The wine made me pass out
I couldn’t trust Odysseus, yes,
I surely know that now!
Therapist: Okay...
I woke up to a burning stake
Being pushed into my eye
Try as I might, I could only scream,
Oh no, I couldn’t cry.
Therapist: Eww.
Polyphemus: Yeah. Oh, wait! I forgot something!
Therapist: What was it?
Polyphemus: Odysseus told me his name was Nobody.
Therapist: That was quite crucial, why forget?
Polyphemus: If you can’t tell, I’m really ticked.
Therapist: I can.
Polyphemus: Anywho, before I get off track
Odysseus is really whack!
Who does that shrink, what kind of man?
Therapist: Well, you did eat half his friends.
Polyphemus: Whatever, when I screamed for help,
People came, but guess what else?
I told them Nobody caused me pain.
Guess what they did? They walked away!
Therapist: Our session’s almost over...
Polyphemus: Before I leave let me just say,
Odysseus better run away!
He made me blind, it gave him a thrill,
So if Zeus doesn’t kill him, believe me I will!
Therapist: Here’s a perscription.
Polyphemus: For what?
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