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A Favor MAG

October 25, 2012
By Ray--yo PLATINUM, Kathmandu, Other
More by this author
Ray--yo PLATINUM, Kathmandu, Other
43 articles 2 photos 581 comments

Favorite Quote:
God Makes No Mistakes. (Gaga?)<br /> &quot;I have hated the words and I have loved them, and I hope I have made them right.&quot; -Liesel Meminger via Markus Zusac, &quot;The Book Thief&quot;

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As I sit here,
right on top,
and the stars,
and me,
and visualize,
my moonlit dreams,
I know, you are listening to me.

I know, you’re listening, so fair enough, I say
as the stars jingle upon my soul,
and the sound of the wind lingers a while,
don’t leave me empty, lend me your smile!

and god! my feet, heavy of walking,
day and night,
and oh, this fright,
i may just envy the birds;
in skies … winters and springs,
so don’t leave me empty, lend me your wings!

the moon I see rising high,
overthroning the stars, new queen of the sky,
but doesn’t, ’cause,
deep there,
fireworks to start,
so don’t leave me like this, lend me your heart!

as you’re still listening,
one more, my wish
if much, my dreams, then do unleash
the joys of life, dug deep inside,
show them, my you, and shine a light
for long the journey, battles to fight,
a sprinkle of pity,
don’t leave me empty,
make me alive!

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This article has 29 comments.

Ray--yo PLATINUM said...
on Mar. 1 2015 at 7:17 am
Ray--yo PLATINUM, Kathmandu, Other
43 articles 2 photos 581 comments

Favorite Quote:
God Makes No Mistakes. (Gaga?)<br /> &quot;I have hated the words and I have loved them, and I hope I have made them right.&quot; -Liesel Meminger via Markus Zusac, &quot;The Book Thief&quot;

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Thank you very much, @Amai-kun
Allen. PLATINUM said...
on Mar. 1 2015 at 5:46 am
Allen. PLATINUM, Palo Alto, California
32 articles 9 photos 525 comments

Favorite Quote:
[i]No matter how much people try to put you down or make you think other things about yourself, the only person you can trust about who you really are is you[/i] -Crusher-P

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At first I was very surprised to see that your first piece got in the magazine, but of course, after reading it, it's obvious why it would get in. You have a lot of talent and you use it well. I had a lot of feelings reading this, and it's beautiful.
Ray--yo PLATINUM said...
on Jan. 23 2015 at 8:45 pm
Ray--yo PLATINUM, Kathmandu, Other
43 articles 2 photos 581 comments

Favorite Quote:
God Makes No Mistakes. (Gaga?)<br /> &quot;I have hated the words and I have loved them, and I hope I have made them right.&quot; -Liesel Meminger via Markus Zusac, &quot;The Book Thief&quot;

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Thank you very much for the kind words, McKay. It really means a lot.
Mckay ELITE said...
on Jan. 14 2015 at 10:28 pm
Mckay ELITE, Somewhere, Virginia
146 articles 0 photos 2230 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do.&quot;<br /> &mdash;Apple&rsquo;s &ldquo;Think Different&rdquo; commercial, 1997<br /> &ldquo;Crazy people are considered mad by the rest of the society only because their intelligence isn&#039;t understood.&rdquo; <br /> ― Weihui Zhou

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This poem captures the reader's attention immediately. You call them with an earnest zeal that is impossible to ignore. Imagery was spot on as well. I felt as thought your heart was the speaker, as cliche as that may sound. There's a want to be free like the birds. A need to feel fulfilled by someone else, instead by our own self. A pining to be recognized if not by one other person in this world. And an anxiety to be alive. Well done, my contemporary.
Losutus_soul BRONZE said...
on Oct. 10 2014 at 10:58 am
Losutus_soul BRONZE, Indianapolis, Indiana
2 articles 0 photos 26 comments
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very good 
Ray--yo PLATINUM said...
on Sep. 14 2014 at 8:02 am
Ray--yo PLATINUM, Kathmandu, Other
43 articles 2 photos 581 comments

Favorite Quote:
God Makes No Mistakes. (Gaga?)<br /> &quot;I have hated the words and I have loved them, and I hope I have made them right.&quot; -Liesel Meminger via Markus Zusac, &quot;The Book Thief&quot;

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I'm glad you think so. Thanks.
WOWriting SILVER said...
on Jun. 5 2014 at 10:55 am
WOWriting SILVER, Broadstairs, Other
5 articles 0 photos 266 comments
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it is a good thing :)
Ray--yo PLATINUM said...
on Jun. 5 2014 at 3:18 am
Ray--yo PLATINUM, Kathmandu, Other
43 articles 2 photos 581 comments

Favorite Quote:
God Makes No Mistakes. (Gaga?)<br /> &quot;I have hated the words and I have loved them, and I hope I have made them right.&quot; -Liesel Meminger via Markus Zusac, &quot;The Book Thief&quot;

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All adulty? I hope that's a good thing. And thanks :)
WOWriting SILVER said...
on Jun. 4 2014 at 11:04 am
WOWriting SILVER, Broadstairs, Other
5 articles 0 photos 266 comments
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Beautiful :) sort of reminds me of shakespeare's writing. I never fully understand it, but I can get the essence of it and that's enough to wow me. whenever I read your stuff, I get all adulty. I don't know how you write like that :)
AGDDavy SILVER said...
on Apr. 12 2014 at 9:20 am
AGDDavy SILVER, Tamarac, Florida
9 articles 9 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;If you believe that your dream already came true, it is easier to achieve it and harder not to make it happen.&quot;<br /> -A.G.D. (Me)

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This poem is so straightforward!
SaphiraBrightscales DIAMOND said...
on Mar. 26 2014 at 1:35 pm
SaphiraBrightscales DIAMOND, Islamabad, Other
75 articles 16 photos 1136 comments

Favorite Quote:
I&#039;ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. <br /> - Maya Angelou <br /> When i was little/I used to point a chubby finger toward the dark sky/And ask my father/why some stars moved and others didn&rsquo;t/He would laugh and explain that some were airplanes/I still wish on them today ~ Laugh-It-Out<br /> The feathers of a crow are black/The ink of my pen is blacker/The pain of my heart is blackest~ Mckay<br /> If love produced a blossom/I&rsquo;d take it in my palm/What a blessing, the bright color!/How soothing, such a balm!/I&rsquo;d keep a petal for my own/The rest, drop from my hands/For such a flower would multiply/And populate the lands~ thesilentraven<br /> And I began to rival legends/Long entombed before my birth./But for all my much envied fame/The lust for more would not abate./The plaques and prizes with my name/Will, like all things, disintegrate. ~ TheEpic95 now known as Helena_Noel

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I meant what I said and I said what I meant ^_^
Ray--yo PLATINUM said...
on Mar. 26 2014 at 7:44 am
Ray--yo PLATINUM, Kathmandu, Other
43 articles 2 photos 581 comments

Favorite Quote:
God Makes No Mistakes. (Gaga?)<br /> &quot;I have hated the words and I have loved them, and I hope I have made them right.&quot; -Liesel Meminger via Markus Zusac, &quot;The Book Thief&quot;

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Your comment just made my life :)
SaphiraBrightscales DIAMOND said...
on Mar. 22 2014 at 2:05 pm
SaphiraBrightscales DIAMOND, Islamabad, Other
75 articles 16 photos 1136 comments

Favorite Quote:
I&#039;ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. <br /> - Maya Angelou <br /> When i was little/I used to point a chubby finger toward the dark sky/And ask my father/why some stars moved and others didn&rsquo;t/He would laugh and explain that some were airplanes/I still wish on them today ~ Laugh-It-Out<br /> The feathers of a crow are black/The ink of my pen is blacker/The pain of my heart is blackest~ Mckay<br /> If love produced a blossom/I&rsquo;d take it in my palm/What a blessing, the bright color!/How soothing, such a balm!/I&rsquo;d keep a petal for my own/The rest, drop from my hands/For such a flower would multiply/And populate the lands~ thesilentraven<br /> And I began to rival legends/Long entombed before my birth./But for all my much envied fame/The lust for more would not abate./The plaques and prizes with my name/Will, like all things, disintegrate. ~ TheEpic95 now known as Helena_Noel

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Okay so let me first gathered my thoughts here before saying anything because they have been completely blown away. Ahem. Okay. This poem firstly is like none I've ever read. Maybe I haven't read all there are to read and yet I feel I'm not going to read one like it in all the time I do read either, if that makes any sense. It had a certain vivid-ness to it. Beautiful imagery. I simply cannot explain how breath-taking the fact that you found so many creative things to put together one gorgeous piece is. Well because look, "stars jingle upon my soul", "overthroning the stars", "a sprinkle of pity" etc all these words are just spot on and if I may be as bold to say perfect together. I am always a no-go at finding faults too well and here well, I really don't know what I could say as to how you could make it better. Because where it is vague that adds engima and where it is stark that adds excitement. Plus I loved the "lend me your " structure too!
TheSkyOwesMeRain GOLD said...
on Jan. 26 2014 at 12:21 pm
TheSkyOwesMeRain GOLD, Irvine, California
13 articles 1 photo 299 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life isn&#039;t measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments which take your breath away.<br /> <br /> You are only as strong as your weakest link.

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Wow! I really like the spirit and energy of this poem, especially the ending line "make me alive"! Your rhyming is also very refreshing; it doesn't sound forced, and it's really pleasing to the ear when read aloud :) Not many people can do that. Thanks, by the way, for commenting on one of my poems, I really appreciate it! 
TanviKusum DIAMOND said...
on Jan. 16 2014 at 10:36 am
TanviKusum DIAMOND, Gurgaon, Other
89 articles 4 photos 197 comments

Favorite Quote:
All men who have achieved great things have been great dreamers. <br /> Orison Swett Marden<br /> <br /> &quot;The role of a writer is not to say what we all can say, but what we are unable to say.&quot; - Anais Nin<br /> <br /> we speak in hushed voices so as to not wake our memories

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I love this. So lyrical :)
Ray--yo PLATINUM said...
on Jan. 15 2014 at 3:28 am
Ray--yo PLATINUM, Kathmandu, Other
43 articles 2 photos 581 comments

Favorite Quote:
God Makes No Mistakes. (Gaga?)<br /> &quot;I have hated the words and I have loved them, and I hope I have made them right.&quot; -Liesel Meminger via Markus Zusac, &quot;The Book Thief&quot;

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That's the second time someone gave this poem the same compliment XD thanks!  
Ray--yo PLATINUM said...
on Jan. 15 2014 at 3:25 am
Ray--yo PLATINUM, Kathmandu, Other
43 articles 2 photos 581 comments

Favorite Quote:
God Makes No Mistakes. (Gaga?)<br /> &quot;I have hated the words and I have loved them, and I hope I have made them right.&quot; -Liesel Meminger via Markus Zusac, &quot;The Book Thief&quot;

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Thanks a lot!
SabbyCat BRONZE said...
on Jan. 10 2014 at 11:41 am
SabbyCat BRONZE, Stroud, Other
2 articles 0 photos 7 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Fear is a sin. Almost all the evil in the world originated because someone is afraid of something.&quot; - Lucy Maud Montgomery, &quot;The Blue Castle&quot;

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I like it! 
compassion GOLD said...
on Jan. 10 2014 at 10:58 am
compassion GOLD, Nowhere, Other
12 articles 17 photos 153 comments

Favorite Quote:
Expect to have hope rekindled,expect your prayers to be answered in wondrous ways! The dry seasons in life do not last,the spring rains will come again.

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Beautifully*
compassion GOLD said...
on Jan. 10 2014 at 10:57 am
compassion GOLD, Nowhere, Other
12 articles 17 photos 153 comments

Favorite Quote:
Expect to have hope rekindled,expect your prayers to be answered in wondrous ways! The dry seasons in life do not last,the spring rains will come again.

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Paints the picture beauifully!