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No Way
January 12, 2012
No pain to cry over-no tears to fall,
Their life is over but that's not all,
They're left alone and afraid
Only to regret the choices they've made.
No way to re-trace the paths of before,
No way to change not ending the war-
The war that raged inside their soul
Caused by something they'll never know,
Never settled completely because of a thing called death-
No way to ever take another breath.
Now they're left for all eternity
Only to regret not being the best they could be,
Alone with only their soul and feelings-
And not even privileged to have a heart beating;
Instead it's sorrow and pain without liberty
And tears bottled up that'll never fall free.
© Maria B., Boston, MA
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION
This article has 40 comments.
n3xtusplaya DIAMOND said...
on Jan. 31 2012 at 7:14 pm
Thank you! It took a while to get the present tense to fit in with the fact this is the person of the past...but the perspective was kind of fun and interesting to write from.
readaholic PLATINUM said...
on Jan. 31 2012 at 7:02 pm
This is just a great poem. Interesting idea, and you do a good job from that perspective. Awesome :)
n3xtusplaya DIAMOND said...
on Jan. 31 2012 at 6:49 pm
Yes i believe you hit the nail right on the head with that one!:P and actually i have read that poem i believe i commented but ill check out some of you others for sure!
n3xtusplaya DIAMOND said...
on Jan. 31 2012 at 6:43 pm
Yes i have I love that song! Its great...and yeah i kind of does!:)
n3xtusplaya DIAMOND said...
on Jan. 31 2012 at 6:35 pm
Thank you! And very constructive criticism i love it! Yea, I actually use to dwell on the past too much then i realized there's nothing to be done to it and there nothing that it can do to you other than haunt your memories but why let it? I wrote this poem at the time of when i was regretting alot but now when I read this I know i shouldn't regret and its people like you who remind me im not alone thank you!
well done :) the ideas and thoughts corsed through it very easily as it should. you set up the stage, you made the story come alive, and you turned every one person into a true character in your writting. i saw the different personalities and the different actions they could make. great job :) 5/5. but what i would do is not dwell on the past even if it hurts you, but use those feelings in your writting. and always remember that your not alone and that will make your writting even ore remarkable
Choosing2Live4Christ PLATINUM said...
on Jan. 31 2012 at 6:14 pm
ohhhhh, have you ever heard the song, "Gone" by Switchfoot? I LOVE it! and it totally goes with what you just said.
n3xtusplaya DIAMOND said...
on Jan. 31 2012 at 6:10 pm
very true...although this isn't written from my view lol it's suppose to be the thoughts of a 'dead man' and although dead men can't think back like this poem insinuates it's suppose to show people to live there lives so one day they won't regret certain things.
Choosing2Live4Christ PLATINUM said...
on Jan. 31 2012 at 11:30 am
I love your rhyming! it is very good :) 5/5 but you shouldn't look back and regret. you should look forward and make choices that you will be able to look back on and smile at. :)
n3xtusplaya DIAMOND said...
on Jan. 30 2012 at 5:47 pm
Awesome club soccer is intense and yeah you got to be like beast at soccer lol...thats super cool!
denifelice SILVER said...
on Jan. 29 2012 at 7:31 pm
I do too but I don't think I'll be good enough. And one of my good friends is homeschooled, and she does club soccer. She's like a pro, she beats like all the SENIORS on the VARSITY team.
n3xtusplaya DIAMOND said...
on Jan. 29 2012 at 6:38 pm
yeah same here...i hope to play for a college team either University of North Carolina or Western Carolina University...the only junk thing is im home-schooled so i dont have a sport records...
denifelice SILVER said...
on Jan. 29 2012 at 5:37 pm
Same, but I really like both the suspense of offense and the pressure of defense, so mid-field's my ideal spot. (:
n3xtusplaya DIAMOND said...
on Jan. 29 2012 at 5:11 pm
I play for a rec team so im put whatevers needed at the time...but i like playing mid-defense or forward though i dont hate defense...lol i like gk but in real game speed my reflexes arent quick enough:P
n3xtusplaya DIAMOND said...
on Jan. 29 2012 at 5:08 pm
Thank you! appreciate you reading it and commenting:)
gossimergrrl BRONZE said...
on Jan. 29 2012 at 3:13 pm
Powerful. Good job.
denifelice SILVER said...
on Jan. 28 2012 at 8:31 pm
Mhmmmm, I play striker and midfield. You? (:
n3xtusplaya DIAMOND said...
on Jan. 28 2012 at 8:08 pm
yeah i saw that on your profile and was going to mention that! i LOVE soccer!! do you play for school:)
