I was in the lunch room when I saw him.
He was sitting next to her, helping her through some horrible loss,
Taking the time to mend her ailing heart.
I thought it was sweet the way he offered a gentle kiss
Of light to her dark soul, afflicted with deep, aching pain.
And so I left, feeling so happy that all was right.

And on that day, while I still felt so right,
I was on my computer when he was online, it was him.
It would be moments later that I’d feel that stabbing pain.
The pain that made my soul sink with a great loss.
He was gone so quickly, like the feather-like kiss
Of a forbidden lover. It was already taken, his heart.

And with the throb of my cold, beating heart,
I no longer possessed this sense of right.
And while I hoped that he would grace me with his tender kiss,
I knew that my love would never belong to him.
And that girl—no longer looking sick with loss—
Had no idea how much I hated her, the cause of my pain.

Though I chose not to bow to the pain,
Rather, I held on to my hope and heart,
Ignoring my own feeling of depressing loss,
And pressing on to prove myself right,
In the end, that I would belong to him,
And at last we’d share that dreamt-up kiss.

Though it got worse when I saw them kiss.
It was vile to watch, with her personal pain
Polluting his pure soul, marring him.
I could see her shallow, desperate poison fill his heart,
Which I lusted after, though I had no right.
I hoped their morose rendezvous would end in loss.

While I still wait for that merciful, glorious loss,
They still, as I watch, share a meaningful, loving kiss.
How could he want her? How could he give her this right?
I sit on the couch, doing all I can to ignore the hideous pain.
Tears well in my eyes, stomach rolls, a knife cuts through my heart.
And all the while, it is not her that kisses back, but him.

Watching him…watching him ravish her with his kiss…
My loss is all around me, but neither of them sees my pain.
His heart longs for her, but I can’t accept that she has the right.