When I touch you
I hope it tingles
feels like when you drive a new car
in the hollow of your ribs
or it lingers
where my fingers grazed your clothes
makes the hair on the back of your neck stand up
and you look up
wondering if actually touched you
accedently
or did i just get too close
and the energy touched you
so I didn't have too.
And some of those
electrons
fell through
the woven and twisted fibers of your coat
and on to skin
I will most likely never see

Are you fllirting or just being friendly?
Am I reading too much into
smiles
and glances
and chances
in time with every moment I dont get caught stareing when I have to
devert myeyes
to the wall behind you
and fake that I am stareing in to
space?
And hopefully thats all I would ever Fake
with you
but I'm thinking to fast letting these
ideas kick
again and again.
Unfolding
and taking control of the mass
of grey matter in my skull
rolling around in between my ears.
"Oh wait did I hear
the rest of lecture?"
I was too busy
staring
imagining
what it would be like to carry
your children and I dont even like kids.
I need to forbid these thoughts from my head.
I cant focus here, or in bed with my boyfriend
when hes holding me I think of you
close my eyes and pretend
this is easy and I'm in love with him.
But I'm not because I can easly ignore a phone call
missing text message from someone whose
convient.
And I wonder everytime my phone lights up if its you?
and you dont even have my
digits
but I'm figiting
sitting

halfway
listening

to a lecture
about everything I want to be
but I'm focused on being with you.
And I don't think I will remember anything that was said in class
but I will remember how many times I you caught me staring and you smile

7
times

And each time I smiled back
hoping I'm not blushing
giving away that I'm crushing
on you.
And crushing someone else
but I'm

waiting
haiting

myself
because I cant be alone so I won't end things at home
with out the sure possibility
I could possibly
have the chance to make things happen with you.

A few thoughts of concious and genuine concern rise in my head
but I would rather choke them,
dead
than this idea of you
because you exist
here.
Near everything I want to be
and I can imagine my future and how I want to see
you with me
smileing.
I can openly touch you and no one will wonder
(mostly me)
weather or not your
flirting or just being friendly.