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Selfish Strength
Face is crumpled up,
Acid cuts across my nose.
But that holds nothing
To the numbness in my heart.
Eyes are filling up,
Throbbing feeling in my throat,
I know that I am close,
But I just won’t give it up.
No,
I am strong, I survive,
There’s no need for me to cry,
I am me, that’s all need be,
I’ll pull force from this adversity.
Still it’s coming on,
I can’t extricate emotion,
It’s the center of my soul,
And now my chest is heaving.
No,
I am strong, I’ll survive,
I’ll find a way to live my life,
The obstacles that come my way,
Only teach me everyday.
I don’t need to show my tears,
I gulp and grab a gasp of air,
Almost slipping silent tears.
Face and eyes and nose and throat,
Chest and mind and hands and heart,
Heavy, heavy, beating, beating,
So close, so very close.
No!
I am strong, I’ll survive!
I won’t even wonder why!
I refuse to take the bad,
Without a lesson to be had!
Deep breath in, chin up high,
Get up, one step, no need to,
Cry, oh cry now only in my head,
Never around others,
For it will only spread,
In selfish strength I abstain,
To show a weaker side,
Call it what you want,
But my well weathered pride,
Will never once again,
Let others see me cry.
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