Irredeemable | Teen Ink

Irredeemable

November 11, 2009
By chrisbriones GOLD, Anaheim, California
chrisbriones GOLD, Anaheim, California
11 articles 0 photos 83 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I believe nothing can be justly and completely explained by words."


That son left when harvest time came.
Abandoned his own flesh and blood
For an easier path which he sought,
And the pain his father endures alone.

That selfish son with shaking hands
And cautious watching eyes yet blind,
Stumbles and falls upon each pebble.
Already the guilt has bored down deep.

That ignorant son wretched with guilt
Promised his soon return but
Leisure engulfed and tainted his being
And robbed that fool of his honor.

That weak son deserves the worst
Words and stones could possibly inflict.
Cry, boy, cry! Cry for your sins!
Cry for the father you’ve abandoned!

Oh you cowardly son of your father.
Why have you condemned yourself to this?
Why have you crushed this fragile soul?
Atone for you sins!

Howled the wind.


The author's comments:
For my father who no longer walks this earth.

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This article has 8 comments.


on Sep. 5 2010 at 2:05 am
chrisbriones GOLD, Anaheim, California
11 articles 0 photos 83 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I believe nothing can be justly and completely explained by words."

No such thing as a misinterpretation. but my intention was not quite blames himself for his death, more of bears tremendous guilt for not being there when it happened-- for selfish reasons.

Guilt and hope for self-demise, but not self pity.

Thank you.


on Sep. 4 2010 at 7:29 pm
Thesilentraven PLATINUM, Mableton, Georgia
40 articles 2 photos 1632 comments

Favorite Quote:
"il piu nell' uno," (according to Emerson, an Italian expression for beauty)

"Unable are the loved to die, for love is immortality" ~Emily Dickinson

"The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain"
~Kahlil Gibran

I'm so sorry for your loss. Forgive me for this cliche, but death is but another step of a long and wonderful journey.

on Sep. 4 2010 at 7:26 pm
Thesilentraven PLATINUM, Mableton, Georgia
40 articles 2 photos 1632 comments

Favorite Quote:
"il piu nell' uno," (according to Emerson, an Italian expression for beauty)

"Unable are the loved to die, for love is immortality" ~Emily Dickinson

"The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain"
~Kahlil Gibran

What a touching piece; forgive me if I misinterpret it, but it seemed to be the tale of a son who blames himself for the death of his father. It captures magically the desperate and beautiful essence of grief.

on Mar. 19 2010 at 7:58 pm
chrisbriones GOLD, Anaheim, California
11 articles 0 photos 83 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I believe nothing can be justly and completely explained by words."

Yes. I seek to express myself, my life, through words in a pristine manner. This is indeed my life.

The last line, or as intended at least, was to give a sense of continuity. A consistency which, all throughout, has and will remain passive.

Thank you very much. I appreciate it infinitely.

on Mar. 19 2010 at 6:05 pm
celloizmylife PLATINUM, Atlanta, Georgia
27 articles 0 photos 72 comments

Favorite Quote:
Around here, however, we don't look backwards for very long.
We keep moving forward, opening up new doors and doing new things, because we're curious.....And curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.
-Walt Disney

Wow, this was really cool. I thought it could do without the last line though. Was this poem really based on your life? If so, I'm so sorry for your loss. :(

on Dec. 16 2009 at 1:13 pm
xXsmileXx PLATINUM, St. Louis, Missouri
34 articles 0 photos 265 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Your dreams only become intangible when you stop reaching" ~me ;)

Well just to letcha know, your comment on my poem was a confidence booster too. So thx. And i will definetly read your newest poem when it's up.

on Dec. 15 2009 at 10:56 pm
chrisbriones GOLD, Anaheim, California
11 articles 0 photos 83 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I believe nothing can be justly and completely explained by words."

wow. all i can say is thank you. thank you for seeing greatness in this piece of art, or so i like to believe it is.

i only have one other poem submitted thats still awaiting approval. but please read it when its available.

thank you once again. youre a real boost to my confidence.

on Dec. 15 2009 at 7:47 pm
xXsmileXx PLATINUM, St. Louis, Missouri
34 articles 0 photos 265 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Your dreams only become intangible when you stop reaching" ~me ;)

You know, not many poems on this web site inspire me to comment. But I love this. I love the way you speak; you left my jaw hanging wide open. Can i officially be your #1 fan? haha I LOVE THIS!!!!!!!!!! WRITE MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I really can't tell you how amazing this is.

-jess (xXsmileXx)