Empty Wins | Teen Ink

Empty Wins

August 27, 2009
By mgraves GOLD, St. Louis, Missouri
mgraves GOLD, St. Louis, Missouri
13 articles 16 photos 52 comments

Gloat- I journey afar while you watch
Sneer- you spend your days away from the sun
Sigh- Mother makes empty threats
Yell- color rises to your cheeks
Twist- my arm is grasped, skin pulled tight
Mock- your weakness is spat at you, venom dripping
Head bowed, voice low
You walk away without parrying my blow
I won the battle but did I lose an alley?
For now I am left alone with only my lie
It is in the eyes of the beholders
A victory is only won if you still have soldiers

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This article has 8 comments.

on Nov. 14 2009 at 7:30 pm
i <3 this, especially the last 2 lines

Jaquie BRONZE said...
on Sep. 6 2009 at 2:29 pm
Jaquie BRONZE, West Palm Beach, Florida
3 articles 0 photos 407 comments

Favorite Quote:
This is certainly one of my favorites: "I will become even more undignified than this, and I will be humiliated in my own eyes." -2 Samuel 6:22

Wow. This is amazing. It certainly surpasses anything I ever could have written. Even the last line alone (which by the way was so powerful I wanted to tear out my hair and weep like a child) was more honest and well-written then what I find from the most well versed persons ever considered to make a dent in the history of poets. You've done a remarkable job. I don't know if I'll retain any respect at all for the editors if they don't include this in the magazine. Personally I think they should consider it an honor. I can't wait to see what you become as writer, for I'm sure your name won't be unrecognized too much longer among the public. You add something to you're poetry that I don't often see: it's a devotion to the reader. This poem is not in anyway easy to read; you force the reader to dig deeper within themselves, past the layers of caloused emotion that society has built up, until they expose their most pure self. They have to put forth an effort to connect the dots. Once again, marvelous, marvelous, work. You pieces are a blessing among the literary world.

God bless,


on Sep. 6 2009 at 2:13 pm
ZebraWithoutStripes ELITE, Blue Springs, Missouri
102 articles 8 photos 84 comments

Favorite Quote:
To make a difference in the world, you have to be different from the world.

this is absolutely fantastic. you rock! keep it up :]

btw i gave it a five

mgraves GOLD said...
on Sep. 4 2009 at 8:41 pm
mgraves GOLD, St. Louis, Missouri
13 articles 16 photos 52 comments
Hey guys! Thanks for the comments :) If you could, please rate! Merci!

Sabryth GOLD said...
on Sep. 4 2009 at 10:34 am
Sabryth GOLD, Lawrence, Kansas
18 articles 1 photo 25 comments
wow. i like this poem a lot, because it's totally true, you know?

on Sep. 3 2009 at 5:24 pm
.xCutMyLifeIntoPiecesx. PLATINUM, Longmont, Colorado
35 articles 0 photos 82 comments
That was really great! Seriously, I'm not just saying that. I wish i could write that well. Keep writing, you're doing fantastic! <3

on Sep. 3 2009 at 5:07 pm
Lifesbutadream BRONZE, Hesperia, California
4 articles 2 photos 22 comments

Favorite Quote:
Change is just a new begining

This is a great poem. Kudos. Keep on submitting!!

Allya said...
on Sep. 2 2009 at 3:25 pm
Wow, powerful. I love it!