River Valley | Teen Ink

River Valley

July 13, 2009
By SilverDawn GOLD, Burnaby, Other
SilverDawn GOLD, Burnaby, Other
10 articles 0 photos 297 comments

It gurgles and splashes in the moonlight
Drowning within itself
But it whispers dangerously on the brink of dawn
Reborn into a sharp new sword
Shining and beautiful, it slices the earth
Cutting deeper towards the heart of the mountain
Determined and facing straight ahead
It rushes into the battle
Forcefully shoving and pushing to its destiny
Yet its strength melts into a graceful flow
Until finally, tired and defeated
Does it embrace its brothers in death
Becoming one with a force far greater than it
Recruited into the ocean’s army.

The author's comments:
There are a lot of metaphors in this poem so it may be confusing and hard to understand but just keep in mind that I'm describing a river valley.

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This article has 12 comments.

on Dec. 12 2009 at 3:50 pm
clearwater1408 GOLD, Blacksburg, South Carolina
11 articles 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
time is our most valuable thing so dont live with regrets of wasting it, live like there will be no tomorrow

it was wonderful and had me seeing it in my head. no one can put a river in words as beautiful as this has

Jennax3 SILVER said...
on Aug. 17 2009 at 7:29 pm
Jennax3 SILVER, Palos Verdes Estates, California
6 articles 0 photos 113 comments
This was really interesting... what a unique metaphor! Not many people can describe a river valley as beautifully as this. good job :)

on Aug. 15 2009 at 2:15 am
carolinesell PLATINUM, Cedar Falls, Iowa
28 articles 0 photos 42 comments
this is a beautiful poem!!!

it's wonderful because i love metaphors and all of those clever poetry things...alliteration, line breaks, not rhyming...

i love it!!!

(ps. wanna read some of my work?)

on Aug. 6 2009 at 2:58 am
jennee21_ann GOLD, Helper, Utah
17 articles 0 photos 568 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Don't gain the world and lose your soul....wisdom is better than silver or gold."

"You can always close a book, but you can never close the mind of a writer."

looks like you have a lot of comments already but i really like this piece. i like all the metaphores because it gives the reader room for imagination. but you did a great job :) check out some more of my work and lemme know what you think :) and keep writing...you are great!

tor10jax GOLD said...
on Aug. 3 2009 at 5:53 pm
tor10jax GOLD, Livingston, New Jersey
10 articles 0 photos 143 comments
Like everyone else said, good job with this poem. The metaphors were really good and well written. I had to read it a few times to get a good of idea what was going on, but that's just me. Thanks for commenting on my poem. :D

Keep writing!

Sneha C said...
on Aug. 1 2009 at 8:45 am
Hey! ur poems r so awsome! keep it up! thank u very much for commenting in my poem. I'm Sneha C from India n 15 yrs old, nice to meet u!

on Jul. 31 2009 at 5:48 pm
MadisonC. SILVER, Montgomery Village, Maryland
6 articles 7 photos 2 comments
This is an amazing poem. You truly are talented! and thanks for your input on my other poem, sunset. i really appreciate your advice! keep up the good work!

MOhammed said...
on Jul. 28 2009 at 10:50 am
why cant i write this good! truly a poet:D

on Jul. 27 2009 at 1:14 am
MorningStar15 DIAMOND, Orange, Vermont
71 articles 2 photos 179 comments
its a awesome poem good use of words

on Jul. 26 2009 at 7:40 pm
one_of_a_kind_girl GOLD, N/A, California
16 articles 0 photos 58 comments
Wow, I love it. That is pure talent. I could never describe anything as well as you did in this poem.

Torrzilla GOLD said...
on Jul. 24 2009 at 6:28 pm
Torrzilla GOLD, Ames, Iowa
18 articles 17 photos 49 comments
"It gurgles and splashes in the moonlight Drowning within itself" ^_^ This has to be one of my most favorite lines ever. The poem is great. Nice work.

on Jul. 24 2009 at 8:51 am
evil_naiad PLATINUM, Afton, Virginia
22 articles 0 photos 18 comments
really nice imagery! :)