Recipe for Disaster | Teen Ink

Recipe for Disaster

January 10, 2024
By katieahs PLATINUM, Hartland, Wisconsin
katieahs PLATINUM, Hartland, Wisconsin
31 articles 0 photos 0 comments

How to Get Last Place at Water Ski Show State Championship


Ingredients:


-Team full of excited skiers
-Bucket of 20+ year old ropes
-Handful of rusty carabiners
-Written show and story for the announcer (make sure it is more than an hour long)
-Board full of pyramids that have only successfully worked maybe once or twice
-An empty bucket of backup ropes in the boat


Directions:


1. Hype up all the skiers and tell them “We can do it!” (This will create more of a let down).
2. Set out all of the necessary ropes, remember- the more frayed and rotted, the better. 
3. Hook up the carabiners to the main ropes. Make sure to read the allowed weight force the carabiner can hold. Good rule of thumb- make sure the amount you are towing is always greater than the amount the carabiner can hold. 
4. Read over the show and storyline so that the announcers know all of it. The show time is only an hour so make sure the story is more than an hour- always good to have extra. 
5. Remember- the riskier the better. Make sure the pyramids you put into competition are the ones that have only made it a few times. It makes everyone more confident.
6. Before the show starts, make sure all the backup ropes are taken out of the boat. Why would you need them?
7. Time to start the show! Sit back, relax, and watch the rope snap, sending the entire pyramid in the water without a backup rope. Then watch them tie a knot in the rope and try again only to fall right back in the water when the rope snaps again, also causing the storyline to make no sense. After that, you are guaranteed to run out of time and cut out a main act. Lastly, send out the last minute pyramid that was recreated the day of to save time, watch it round the corner as half of the pyramid falls. Then, *VERY IMPORTANT* make sure the portion of the pyramid still standing gets disqualified because the buzzer went off. 
8. Reflect on what happened during the show, maybe cry, maybe laugh, and walk proudly to accept your last place award.



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