My brain

Has this train of thought

That tells me

That I ought to

Take a shot at

Not living my life

In desperation

With little to no motivation

But no matter how hard I try

I can’t find peace of mind

So I walk

And I talk

Like everything’s fine

When I know it’s a lie

And eventually I try to get help

In a world where this

Mind of mine

Is glorified instead of

Dealt with

And this never ending slump

Is instead called “just a funk”

And I’ll get over it soon enough

But it’s been years

And it’s still here

So why do they tell me

That I’ll be alright

And that there’s light

At the end of the tunnel

That I clearly can’t handle?

I feel like I have no room to move

In between all this gloom

And I assume

That it’ll all go away on its own

And that it’s okay

To be alone

And to postpone and delay

The day I let myself feel okay again

However, I become tired

Of the wait and the burning desire

To find and create a life worth living for

So I make the effort for the first time

To open up my heart and mind

And see things through the eyes

Of someone who can rise above

The hardships and otherwise

Disheartening lies that our own minds

Remind us of

From night until sunrise

I am tired of it

I’m tired of it all

And I need to learn to call out

When I fall instead of

Staying and waiting

And above all

Being afraid of the crusade that

Will forever be a threat to me

As long as I let it be

I am trying my best

To pass this test of distress

And impress myself

By proving that maybe they

Were right

And that I’ll in fact be okay