“She stood in the storm, and when the wind did not blow her away, she adjusted her sails.”-Elizabeth Edwards

I am free-spirited. I take risks, loves to challenge and to be challenged. I am curious, imaginative and open-minded, seeing all things as part of a big mysterious puzzle. I have a shot-gun mouth. I blubber like a fountain spilling words. I am independent and strong. As they say, “Every beautiful thing comes with a story.” What’s my story?

Growing up in a blended family of five children and being the middle one sure as hell ain’t easy. I always get the end of the stick in literally everything. Just the plain, not-so-special middle child. Not the oldest, not the youngest, just… blah. I get nothing easily. When I want to get something, I have to fight for it. Sadly even for my parent’s attention.

I was endlessly compared to my other siblings. Everything my older siblings did was considered “mesmerizing” while everything I achieved became plain normal. I used to roll my eyes every time my other siblings are being praised and it became one of my habit (just to emphasize that they get praised ALL THE TIME)

Growing up, I always felt that I’ve been living with a shadow on my head. Most times, I was on my own. I was the butt of every joke and my siblings loved to gang up on me.

Praise is nothing I am used to getting. Yes, I was never the worst at anything. But, I was also never the best at it because I will always have that intellectual older brother, the musically gifted older sister, artsy younger sister, and beloved younger brother. Because of those series of unfortunate events, I did my best to be at the center of the spotlight. I engaged my self in ballet, arts, performing arts, taekwondo, soccer and studied hard to excel on my studies because I thought that it would be the key to erase the void in my heart. But as I was trying to be perfect on the eyes of my parents and the people around me, I never experienced peace with myself until I came to know Jesus Christ. I was told of his sacrifice on the cross just to save a sinner like me. Jesus made me realize that someone could love me to the point of giving his own life. After I received him as my personal Lord and Savior, I started to see things from a different perspective and felt genuine happiness for the first time in my whole life.

Yes, I am free-spirited and independent. I take risks and loves to be challenged. I am happy and optimistic but it sure took a while for me to get there. Behind my identity is the scar my childhood left me and the redemption Jesus gave me and I wouldn’t want it any other way.