I remember the first time someone called me “ ugly”. It was in middle school, which is a pivotal time for kids, and a time where most, like me, get bullied. Like most of the other adolescents, I was lanky with long legs, and a body that seemed to have a mind of its own. I was sitting on the bench outside, quietly reading while a never-ending crowd of kids passed me talking about everything from their test in English to last night’s episode of Dancing With The Stars. When I looked up from my ferocious reading, I saw the most popular girl in school and her posse, staring me down. She scoffed, did a mean twirl, and said to her entourage: “ She is so ugly.” They laughed and ventured off to go ruin someone else’s day.

Her comment stuck with me throughout the entire day. I kept asking myself, Am I really that ugly?  I mean, I knew I wasn’t the most attractive person on this earth, but I wasn’t ugly. But yet, I still couldn’t myself to believe that. So I tried everything. I went to have surgery to get the birthmark on my face removed, I begged my parents for makeup, and I even tried to change my wardrobe. But after she had taken my self-confidence down so low, there was nothing I could do to regain it. And, unfortunately, I’m not the only one. Millions of girls all over the world go through the same thing I went through in middle school, and some are traumatized for the rest of their lives. This brings me to my whole point of writing this essay: The word ugly should be used with caution because it can take a serious toll on someone’s emotional state and how they view themselves.

Fortunately, for me, after 2 years,  I mustered up the courage to tell my parents that I was going through this and that I got no support from the teachers or the counselors at school, and I was moved to a different school. But some kids never tell their parents for the fear of being labeled a “snitch” or possibly even getting bullied worse. If I had a hard time being called ugly and I only dealt with it for 2 years, I can only imagine the kind of horror that the kids that have to deal with the bullies for 3 or 4 years go through.

In actuality, most kids that are being called “ ugly” are, like me, actually not that bad-looking. But for some reason or another, they become victims of severe verbal abuse. And after a while, when you hear something or someone calls you something for a significant amount of time, you start to believe it. So these kids are believing that they’re ugly when they’re really not, which causes them to try and unnecessarily modify themselves. Which brings me to my first point: Calling someone ugly can make them believe that in their natural appearance, they are not good enough. 

Society dictates to us that every human being, especially women, is not beautiful just the way they are. After all, why do you think plastic surgeons get paid so much? Magazines such as People, Us, and Star always show celebrities before and after fame pictures, and they are NEVER the same. However, women that are not famous don’t have the type of money that these celebrities do, so they find other ways to make themselves seem beautiful, whether this is by applying 18 pounds of makeup, trying diet pills, or changing their hairstyle/color.

They make all these changes to themselves so that they conform to these standards of ‘ beauty’. To examine this, we have to look at what the meaning of beauty actually is. It’s different for every culture, but in America, beauty is being white, blonde, having a skinny waist, but also having a large behind and a big chest. This is what’s thrown at us everytime we turn on the TV, every time we flip through a magazine, every time we watch a movie, and even the common perception of female heroines or protagonists in literature.

So today’s young girls are constantly having to deal with the pressure to conform to these standards of beauty, and it’s especially hard for minorities that can’t help the fact that the pigment of their skin is not white and they don’t have so-called “ good hair”. And if you’re African- American, you have to be “ light-skinned” or look like Beyonce to be considered beautiful. Regardless of whether you are black or white, the reality still is that if you don’t look like Kate Upton, Ariana Grande, or Rihanna, you are ugly. This leads me right into my next point: Girls that think of themselves as ugly often try to look like celebrities and models that give them a false sense of reality.

All of these celebrities I just mentioned spend hours upon hours having renowned stylists and makeup artists apply only the best and most expensive makeup and put in the longest eyelashes and hair extensions before they step on stage, do a photoshoot, or even simply put a picture on Instagram. None, and I repeat none of the celebrities that look flawless on the red carpet, on stage at the Grammy’s, or walking the runway will look the same after they are stripped of all the extra cosmetics. Most are, in fact, unrecognizable. Most look like any other person walking down the street. I know I sound cliche, but they really are just like us. So the problem with young girls today trying to emulate the appearance of all these popular celebrities and what the media is telling them beautiful is, is that they’re not going to be successful even if they try because the girls that the media are telling them are the definition of beauty do not normally fit these standards themselves. They just happen to be lucky to have tons of money and affluence to be able to be ‘ beautiful’, with the help of cosmetic aids. However, most girls don’t know this, so they end up stressing themselves out trying to look like someone who doesn’t really look what we’re shown.

My third and final point is: Being called ugly can lead to mental, emotional, and eating disorders. Just like me, these girls will do anything to win the approval of the bullies just to stop the bullying- by whatever means necessary. So if that means starving themselves, they’ll do it. If it means regurgitating after every meal, they’ll do it. This leads to anorexia, bulimia, and starvation. Many girls become unhealthily skinny, which leads to other health issues, and some severe cases lead to death. Also, the accumulation of stress from being teased and being picked on for many years can leave a rough mark on a girl’s psychological well-being, which ends up in anxiety, depression, and sadly in most cases, suicide.

So ladies and gentlemen, today we must sit down and ask ourselves, what really is ugly? Is it really being “ offensive to the sight of unattractive” , like Merriam Webster Dictionary says? Or is not being what America thinks beauty is? Is is not being blond, white, and busty? Is it not being light-skinned with “ good hair”? This question must be answered quickly to stop the subtle genocide of our young girls today. And, yes, I called it genocide. The mass killings of attractive, smart, lovely young girls who America is killing by telling them that if they don’t match whoever is on the cover of Vogue, they are “ ugly”. As you can see, ugly, a word that is used everywhere in joking and not-joking terms, is really not one of those words you should flirt around with. Because just like a feather, a human being is light and fragile, and they can be crushed easily.