My mom told me something that really opened my eyes,” you do more for your friends then they do for you.” I never really realized how invested I am in every friendship I have. My debate partner for instance just because of a fallout he is quitting on me this close to the state tournament. I try to make our friendship work but I don’t think it will work much longer. I’m so focused on my “friends” I don’t focus on myself and real friends. I’m tired of being nice, my mom and dad would always tell me I'm being mean so I decided to change but oh that has backfired. In a friendship I believe it’s a two-way street at least that’s what I seriously believe. I believe that a friendship is a very serious thing to have especially in this lonely life.

So what my mom is trying to tell me is I cant always be that way for my friends because they wouldn’t do the same way towards me. Maybe I was meant not to have friends, me being alone is best for me now. I have learned in life its good to have someone in your life you can trust. The thing is I trust to many people, maybe that’s why I’m so fixed on being a good friend. Sometimes I can be a lot to handle but I still believe in being a shoulder for my friends to cry on. So now I promise myself that I need to really ponder upon all my present friendship and really see why my mom was right. I don’t know if something is wrong with me. I know we don’t live in a perfect world where you get what you want. For me I want a friendship that we are equally there for each other and can be each others solid rock. Will that ever happen?