16 years! 16 years gone to waste. I’m 16 years behind, almost 17 years of my life flashed right past me while i just sat there and watched as it happened. In a  few months I’ll be 17. 17 acting like a preschooler. A 17 year old that still goes to mommy and daddy for a diaper change. I wasn’t able to take advantage of 16 and a half years… what makes you think I’ll do it now. I’m not ready for life, I’m unprepared to be exposed to the world itself. What is my life going to be like? What am i going to be? What future am i supposed to live? What if i never make my parents proud? 16 years and a half behind, 17 years i could’ve used to do something, make something, get something, let alone become something. Yet I end up as is, sitting in a class feeling sympathy for myself, crying… like it’s going to somehow help. Wishing every tear would repair for all those years i missed. What was i thinking? I finally get the huge disappointment. I haven’t been anything but a waste of myself. I’m surrounded by so many people i love more than anything in the world. Yet, I can’t think of one in which I have not yet hurt. From arguments, to fights, to tears. No matter how much i try to deny it, at the end of the road you’ll find me- the blame. Its obviously not easy to recognize the fact you’ve impacted so many lives with plain disgrace. As depressing as this sounds, it’s real, it’s common, and it’s called PAIN. I’m not the first to experience it, nor first to fail the way i did, but i am one who speaks out loud thinking of the possibility that someone else out there walked my path but kept silent...and now i have the chance to speak for them. “We all make mistakes”. “Life doesn’t come with instructions”. I’m repeatedly told this as a way to justify the fact that I’m a disaster. I’m aware that life doesn’t provide us with instructions, and i acknowledge the fact that we all commit mistakes, but since when was that a valid excuse? Is it said to make me feel better? Am i supposed to be proud of myself? Because honestly I’m not. I feel like a mess, i am a failure, and no matter how many excuses, or U-turns i try to give, once again at the end of the road stands the blame, and that’s me.

Too many times do we as teens compare ourselves to all the others, provide ourselves with all these thoughts that lead us to believe such things. Take me for example, just an ordinary teenage girl, who has obviously taken plenty of wrong paths, and committed a lot if not too many mistakes. Failure couldn’t even describe me. Day by day, second by second, i reminded myself that i was the one to blame, the cause, the effect, the one that did nothing but cause pain just as i would drown myself in it. Then came the most random curiosity, curious of how many more other people, not necessarily girls, not necessarily teens, but human-beings felt as i did, experienced what i’ve experienced. I know my path has been walked on before, i’ve seen footprints as evidence. The profound thought of this, will definitely lead you to a whole new perspective of life, of the world, and of yourself. How many more? Who else? Think deeply about it, then and only then, will you have the right to continue blaming yourself for what’s occurred. Otherwise “Learn from your mistakes” and do something for the world, or someone that replaces it, to ensure you’ll never be forgotten and forever remembered.