Classification | Teen Ink


December 2, 2022
By Anonymous

Have you ever worked a fast food job and noticed how predictable the customers are? I’m going to be giving  you, the new sad sap who’s working fast food, the perfect guide to help you cater to the unique needs of every customer (periodic sentence). All the people you will help during your time as a fast food chain employee will fall under these categories: The Clueless, The Window Shopper, The Angel, and The Chocolate Moo’d. 

The Clueless

These customers have to be the most frustrating and indecisive people on the planet. First, they wait in a five minute line, which one would think would be ample time to make a decision, then get to the register and either say “ooooo I’m still looking” or nothing at all. One would think asking them “what they’re in the mood for” or “is there an item you're trying to think of”, would help them think of the item they’re looking for but it only prolongs their inevitable one item order. Then, once they finally reach a verdict, they ask about the ingredients and what substitutions they can make to their order.  On rare occasions , one of The Clueless customers will ask for your opinion on what they should order, just for them to pick the complete opposite of your suggestion. When you encounter this type of customer make sure to act very calm and be as helpful as possible, even though you want to rip them limb from limb. Remember you are there to make them have an enjoyable time consuming your product, don't get in the way of that by being rude and turning a customer away.

The Window Shopper

     Unlike the dreadful clueless shoppers, the Window Shoppers are one of my favorite types of customers. Most of this type of customer is older women who come into the store, stare at the menu for around five minutes, then decide to leave. Most of this type of customer comes in and out without saying anything, the other half of this type comes in without saying hello and leaving after a quick gander of the menu(parallel structure). One time, while I was dealing with a Window Shopper, she came into the store like a normal customer, she ordered some drinks and a waffle, but right as she was in the middle of saying her last drink she walked away without saying anything. She had hit me with a fake out to a fade away. I was stunned. Baffled.  She was the only time a Window Shopper had been somewhat disruptful; She had left after I put her waffle in! These are my favorite customers because it means I don’t have to work. I greet them, I wait for them, then I say goodbye to them(anaphora) . These customers are ultimately the easiest to deal with and will often be your favorites. 

The Angel

     The Angel is a scarce type of customer that makes your day. They are saints on earth. Gifts from heaven. These customers aren’t defined by one thing or another but just a broad category for customers who are just nice. They simply engage in pleasant conversation with you , or smile at you, or compliment you, or even just tip you(polysyndeton)  . These customers make your day just a little bit better every time you see them. I’ll usually give them a discount or give them a size up on their smoothies; don’t tell my boss (loose sentence). My favorite Angel was this sweet old lady who came into the store with a twenty four pack of energy drinks for our staff. When we asked her why she got us these she said” you guys are here working hard and you seemed a little tired. So energy drinks”. Her name is Jessica and now whenever we see her we give her normal order free of charge. Only piece of advice I could give you for these customers is to not ruin them, be nice back with them so you can get the same in return. 

The Chocolate Moo’d

The Chocolate Moo’d is the worst type of customer. A Chocolate Moo’d is the micro manager. They follow you up and down the line making sure you get every single ingredient correct and with the right proportions as if you had never worked your job before. They’ll be sure to ask many questions such as ”is that enough milk”, “is that enough chocolate powder”, or even “did you do that right”. I hate these customers at my store because they act like they are experts at making smoothies; like they're Mr. Jamba Juice. At my store there is only one. We call her the Chocolate Moo’d because that's the name of the drink she orders. We have another drink called a peanut butter moo’d and we know this because she reminds us  how she wants the chocolate moo’d and not the peanut butter moo’d at least a dozen times while we make her drink. She also likes to reach over our glass window to point to the next ingredient, as if we forgot that milk is stored in the fridge. If you run into your own Chocolate Moo’d ignore them, you know how to do your job, I hope, so don't let some fast food connoisseur tell you otherwise. 

This has been your guide on dealing with various types of customers. I hope you learn something and will take some of these tips into the workplace.  

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