When I first came to the U.S., this wonderful world engrossed me, but my broken English bewildered my classmates, and their enthusiastic replies became a string of unintelligible syllables to me. Without communication, I felt myself shrouded by a transparent bubble that insulated—but tantalized—me in terms of my connection to them. The more I struggled, the more frustrated I became. The transparent bubble became a sealed bucket, as if to deprive me of breath. I needed ventilation. Eventually, these fermenting feelings erupted. On my way to school, I heard myself speaking aloud: “I want to talk.” I started talking continuously, emptying out all the suffocating and shadowy stuff in my heart.

This changed my life.

Over the past two months, I felt as if I were living in suffocating rainy seasons. Talking to myself, like sunshine, could dry my musty, stale world, and miraculously removed the sinking boulder of loneliness. Furthermore, it digs out a better me. Before examinations, my loud announcement “you can do well” actually boosts my confidence and enhances my performance. After losing a basketball match, I would tell myself: “I lost it because of my weak defense, but you will make it next time!” I situate the present I into the spectrum of temporality, diluting my current frustration, and beckoning me to the future I. Despite its salutary effects, self-talk, in the eyes of mainstream culture, often invites suspicious eyes.

Paul McAdory’s “The Power of Talking to Yourself” disperses my apprehension. Self-talk is “vocalized self-analysis” in order to haul out a potential self. “Bubbles of genuine self-belief surge: You can do this; then, I can do this; then, Let’s do this.”

Far from being antisocial, self-talk facilitates better communication. I often role play the examiners’ responses before interviews.
“I am the champion of the National Economics Challenge.”
The vocalized introduction sounds corny. “Be enthusiastic.”
A different tone. Too arrogant. “Be humble.”
Different stress and rhythm. Too preachy.
…

Viewing myself from different perspectives, and hearing myself in hypothetical articulations, I come to develop a better understanding of myself and the world.

Works Cited
McAdory, Paul. “The Power of Talking to Yourself.” The New York Times, 12 July, 2022. nytimes.com/2022/07/12/magazine/talking-to-yourself.html.