I recently watched The Fault in Our Stars and found it quite… troubling. I haven’t read the book or talked about the movie with anyone. This is why writing this might be quite obsolete. The story itself seemed as if it was going to be a love story. That’s what it seems the general public sees it as whenever I hear people raving over it. So I watched it. Even though there was an obvious love story it seemed to focus on a different plot. I would almost call it a subplot but it was too obvious. The only reason that I think it was so easily overlooked is that this movie uses much higher tier vocabulary than any other popular movie I’ve seen in a lone time.

The part of this that troubles me is oblivion. As it was pointed out in the movie so perfectly, you simply have to ignore the idea that everything will end and you will be nothing. The problem with this is that I simply cannot ignore something of that philosophical scale. It’s a brilliant and sad truth that even Edgar Allan Poe is nothing in the grand scheme.

The idea that one can be remembered is preposterous. In the modern era you might be remembered for a week maybe too if you go viral online. Even the most brilliant people are forgotten when something better comes along. Then there are the people that are truly amazing that stand against the test of time… they will be forgotten too. In the end who will be left to remember them?

This brings me to a theological state of thinking. If let’s say Christianity is the correct religion then all of the people that have been “saved” will go to heaven with Jesus. Then what? You expect to find happiness in forever… what will you do. You can’t expect yourself to find ultimate happiness in doing everything. You will experience everything. That might sound good but we are only made to think doing everything is good because you have limited time. What good does doing everything do, you would become bored in forever. The only end is endless boredom. If it amounts to anything else then you have been changed by your god and you are not truly you. I believe that in itself is death.

This is why I refuse to take this into account. These thoughts or ideas are simply ideas. So are all religions. So to find peace in my state of mind (not peace in the world or my life) I will simply convince myself of otherwise. Think of all the horrible people in the world. How could they possibly do such terrible things and not think it is wrong? They simply have been convinced by whatever horrible means to change their state of mind.


It will be difficult… to avoid oblivion. But I have to try. I cannot live with such thoughts and be happy. That’s why the world ignores things. I wish I had that leisure. I will have to use some hollow logic to change my state of mind. Perhaps start with something simple such as that the thought (or ignorance) that I will never die so that I can have pity on myself because I know at one point the days will just be worse and worse. I won’t be thankful for living because I will not die, I will be thankful for people and things that keep me company during my infinity.

These thoughts while troubling me might have helped you. Try to enjoy your way to inevitable death. (or your way to heaven and inevitable boredom)