Really? Would you like to continue making out? Right in front of everyone? Some people don’t care. Me? I’m sorry, but I’d rather not watch people put their tongues down another’s throat. Doesn’t that cause the persons gag reflex to make them vomit? Nobody wants to see your vulgar actions in the middle of a public space, thank you.

Casually walking through the park with a friend is probably the time you would least expect someone to be Publically Displaying their Affection (PDA). But it happens. A close pal and I were walking through Ocean Park one sunny Summer Afternoon, and all of a sudden, BAM! Right in front of us were two grown men, sucking face. You see, it’s not that they were two men that bothered me. It was the fact that they were blatantly performing their abominable behavior in the dead center of the park. I mean, there’s kids around, with parents that probably think they don’t want their children witnessing these indecent, lewd, and distasteful actions. People go to the park to enjoy the sun, the fresh air, and the openness. This demeanor can be offensive to people and take away their right to luxuriate in the park.

That day in the park, neither my companion nor I decided to say anything about these two grown men performing their exorbitant, downright obscene nature. But there was another time when we encountered people like this, doing the same, vile things. This time, it was two teenagers, girl and a boy. The same friend and I were squidding at the Memorial Wharf, when we ran up the steps to the roof, and were bombarded with the obvious sounds of tongue on tongue action. My amigo went all dauntless on me, and called these people out. In the best British accent, he shouted, “Oh, dear me. How scandalous!” I smacked him on the shoulder, quietly telling him please to shut the heck up. “No,” he stated firmly. “This is the second time we have experienced this sort of foul and indecent behavior. Don’t you think it’s a little insensitive of them?” “Yesss,” I countered, “but —” he cut me off. “Shh.” Did he just ‘shh’ me? Louder this time, my sidekick hollered, “Try not to swallow each other!” The adolescents again ignored us. This time, it was me who exclaimed at the top of my lungs. “Keep it rated G, kiddies!” WOW! What a thrill! What a rush! Normally I hated confrontation. Not my cup of tea. But I immediately felt a surge of audacity. Now, the girl was impossibly bent backwards on the railing, with the guy leaning into her, his hand on the small of her back. That seems dangerous. I thought, What if she falls?! How can that be comfortable, much less exhilarating? Blech. As I’m pondering these things, I didn’t happen to notice the couple were detaching himself from each other, and walking down the steps; clearly flustered. “Ha! We won.” My friend said quietly as the couple slunk away. I felt so accomplished.

There has to be some part of these people’s mind, where they are embarrassed, or ashamed about their actions. Or maybe, they just couldn’t care less. This is NO way to profess your undying love. Sing a song, take part in a flash mob… ANYTHING BUT SHARE DNA! I mean, it’s unsophisticated, disgusting, and obnoxious. So, CAN YOU NOT?