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What Not to do When Talking to Boys
Being a high schooler, I see girls and boys interacting every day, however, I am not one of these people. I just tend to avoid that part of high school. I don’t understand why I do that considering that I am ridiculously good at it. Looking back on my life, I can only associate myself with one category: completely and totally AWESOME. In Middle School I used the “cool” ways of attracting a boy’s attention:
a)
I wore argyle sweaters and plaid shorts almost every day to school. I mean come ‘on, how cool is that?
b)
I wanted my eyes to look big-- and boy did they ever! I walked around with my eyes as wide as possible; practically bulging out of my skull. My eyes were beautiful.
c)
Some days I wore all black: black t-shirt, soccer shorts, and black high-top Converse. I walked around with an “I’m pissed at the world” look on my face because ya know, that totally made boys want to talk to me.
(and now for the coolest one of all)
d) I ran around screaming, laughing, yelling inappropriate things, occasionally eyeing that special
someone to see if they were looking --and oh were they looking.
Let’s be honest. I was kind of a loser in middle school. I had a lot of fun because I didn’t care what people thought of me, but I was that girl. Picture this: You’re walking through the school hallway… there’s the girl calmly leaning up against a locker chatting with her friends and she smiles sweetly when her person of interest walks by, and then there’s the girl rolling around on the floor laughing and screaming as her crush walks past (that was me).
The problem that comes along with talking to boys or just getting their attention is that some girls don’t know how to keep their cool. There are those girls who are just presented with this talent of interacting with guys and can be themselves around them, but there are also the girls who it’s like their inner devil child is released when around boys.
Every girl wishes she could have the perfect movie experience in high school: she likes a boy, finally decides to talk to him and it turns out he likes her too. Then they fall in love after one conversation and live happily ever . Go on and admit it though. We don’t all have the capability to pull a Molly Ringwald movie scenario out of our pockets on command. Our brains might, but most people don’t. The reality is that the girl admires from afar… forever… continuing her usual reaction when her crush is around, and she never really gets the confidence to talk to him.
Exhibit A of what NOT to do:
I went to see a play with my two friends, Jenn and Lauren. My other two friends, Ryan and Isaac were acting in the production of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. The play started and we all died: Joseph was a god. I mean really. He was that attractive . Sparkly blue eyes and dashing eyebrows. And his smile *sigh*. By the time the play was over I was sitting in my own kiddy pool of drool. We met our friends afterwards and Jenn goes: Ryan, go get Devon (Joseph) … He is fiiiiiiiinnnneeee! So as Ryan set off to find Devon the God, I’m sitting there like: Oh poop guys! I’m leaving. I can’t stay here because I’m gonna make myself look like an idiot and my face is going to turn red and he’s going to think I’m a freak. When he walks out, I am leaving.
But nooooo. I stayed there as he walked through the doorway with an aura of light surrounding him.
Devon: Hi. I’m Devon. Thanks for coming to see the show
Me: (starting to crouch into fetal position)
Jenn: Hi I’m Jenn!! You did really good! Iknow you don’t know me but I am now giving you a hug.
Devon: (thinking—well that was awkward….)
Lauren: Well that was weird… I’m Lauren. (Shakes his hand)
All the while, I proceed to do the following : (check all that apply)
[X]
Crouch on the floor, holding my knees
[X]
Sweat profusely
[X]
Turn my face red (unintentionally, of course)
[X]
Wheeze, laugh, yell, hyperventilate, and cry ALL AT THE SAME TIME.
And THAT is what not to do because the boy’s reaction will be 100% “WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS GIRL”, 100% “IS SHE DYING?”, and 100% “IS THAT EVEN A GIRL?”
Afterwards, part of me was secretly hoping that he thought it was cute, but then I asked myself: how could sitting on the floor with that “I’m constipated” face on seem remotely attractive even to a fat hippo?
And that is why I tend to avoid the whole deed all together. To prevent this reaction from ever happening again, I avoid eye contact, avoid conversation, and NEVER go to Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat again. Problem solved.
Next time, I will be discussing: How to be a Creeper. A tip of advice to you: Texting someone when they didn’t give you their number and not telling them who you are is basically saying: Well hey there, I am a creeper.
I’ve tried it. It is creepy. Do not do that.
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