I’m concerned about the environment, but I’m also an American.

I frequently see news on my smart, flat-screen television about the damage done to nature. I also get news notifications on my latest iPhone. I can’t imagine a world where all those terrible events are actually happening. I was told never to believe everything that I see on the news, and that makes sense because it’s impossible that tornadoes and hurricanes and forest fires could be so massive and numerous.

The craziest news is the claim that Americans are partially responsible for the huge natural disasters because of our big environmental footprint. This is obviously not true because more people are walking on the lands of China and India, and besides, we like lying on our king-sized beds in our air-conditioned room watching television with a screen size of at least 50-inches. I think it's terrible that we are being blamed for mother nature’s horrible deeds. She must have a problem with us.

Although, as an American, none of what is happening is my fault, I still feel the need to come up with a plan to fix all these disasters. My perfect plan consists of having everyone in the world come together in their own separate countries, make the rulers of each country believe and care about the environment and change their policies, take off all trash from land and water, give animals back their land and natural resources, and stop using all resources that harm the planet by finding better solutions, like those futuristic solar panels and wind generators. I would think that everybody has common sense, but if any of this was confusing, just know that every problem must be fixed now.

I know that it seems simple enough, but there is one difficult part to my almost flawless plan. I have to get the people actually responsible for climate change to believe it exists more than I believe it exists. I just have a feeling that they might say that scientists made it all up, but I wouldn’t know how to make them change their mind because I have also witnessed some really cold days.

            Aside from my brilliant plan, I also have a proposal for the countries of China and India. Stop having kids. China, stop filling up the sky with all that pollution. India, stop taking up all the resources and land from nature. At the rate these overpopulated countries are using up our precious resources, they are not going to leave us anything. Although it has been said that the United States is the biggest per capita consumer, I don’t feel obligated to change that because we deserve it. After all, we were the first country to have a man land on the moon. Besides, there are less people in America and have the right to consume all the resources that nobody else is using. Now as for India and China, since they decided to have so many people in their countries, the best way that they can fix the problem is to consume less per person.

            If my plan works—that is, if China and India take my advice—then all will be well and the so-called climate change or global warming or whatever it is called can have its effects reversed quickly and everything would be back to normal until another issue is made up.

            I will do my part and take cute pictures on social media so that I can get more followers, then I will become an influencer and tell everybody to help protect the environment with a picture of myself holding a puppy in my huge pool with my mansion in the background. You can call me a nymph, or even better, a goddess. The Greek goddess Artemis comes to mind.

            I’m surprised that nobody has thought of such a smart idea. We could have fixed Earth’s centuries of problems in a matter of days.