When you talk to your friends, do you think about the effect of each word you say? I'm going to guess you don't, which is normal, especially in today's society, but what if I told you that when you called that one friend a “sl*t,”  it had a much bigger effect than you thought? When we use derogatory language, we may think it's just a "joke,” but our word choices can have different outcomes than we think. The intention behind the way we speak can get lost behind a definition—the meaning of the word we say. This is what the listener interprets, not your intention, and if we don't think about the way we speak, our relationships and the gender norms that surround us could become stronger instead of weaker. Language choices reflect and reinforce social 

 boundaries, prejudices, and power dynamics. As well as the subtleties of our language having a significant impact on how we perceive and form gender norms. 

Through language, we can see how dominant men's voices are in literature and everyday life.  In her book “A Room of One's Own,” Virginia Woolf searches for an answer to an essay question she was asked to respond to. Through this process, she discovered many issues she had not thought of before that assignment. One of these issues was how absent Women are in literature, especially in texts talking about Women themselves. According to Woolf, “but what was surprising and difficult of explanation was the fact that sex—woman, that is to say—also attracts agreeable essayists, light-fingered novelists, young men who have taken the M.A. degree; men who have taken no degree; men who have no apparent qualification save that they are not women.” (23) Here, Woolf highlights the contradiction between males writing freely about women's experiences and the absence of women's voices discussing men's viewpoints. This insight highlights a glaring gender disparity in the literary world, where men predominate in the discussion of both sexes, maintaining deeply rooted gender standards. Woolf's observation calls out the patriarchal framework of the literary world and how it suppresses women's voices and perpetuates gender stereotypes and inequality by portraying male and female experiences in different ways. This argument shows how the voice behind our language and text can reinforce the social boundaries that are in place today and if women had a more dominant role in literature, the gender gap could start to close. Moreover, Woolf continues her analysis, observing, “It was a most strange phenomenon; and apparently—here I consulted the letter M—one confined to the male sex. Women do not write books about men—a fact that I could not help welcoming with relief, for if I had first to read all that men have written about women, then all that women have written about men, the aloe that flowers once in a hundred years would flower twice before I could set pen to paper.”(23) This quote reinforces the idea that the subject behind the language is what is increasing and reinforcing gender norms and not what is being written. Women's voices are notably absent in literature, especially texts about “Women” themselves, not only giving men free will to say whatever they want behind the title of a book that is supposed to support women but also secretly enforcing gender norms by writing about what women are expected and should do in today's society. This only reinforces gender norms as we allow men to sustain their role as the dominant gender. If we allowed women to have their voices heard, we could start to break down the patriarchy and give women a bigger role in our society.

Language choices not only reinforce gender norms but express how they are viewed in contemporary society. In Peggy Orenstein's “The Miseducation of the American Boy”, Orenstein deep dives into the norms of masculinity in contemporary American culture and examines how social influence and cultural expectations impact boys' experiences and behavior as they mature into men. Orenstein provides anecdotes from many adolescent interviews, describing how today's norms affect how the youth think about maturing. As Orenstein interviews an 18-year-old freshman student, he admits that “There's a block there, there's a hesitation even though I don't like to admit that. A hesitation to talk about anything really. We learn to confide in nobody. You sort of train yourself not to feel”(4) this quote highlights the suppression of emotion and reluctance to express vulnerability which directly correlates to the current construction of masculinity. This also illustrates how language choices, including the avoidance of open communication about feelings, reflect and reinforce social boundaries that restrict emotional expression for boys and men. The societal expectation for boys to adhere to self-reliance and to hide emotional intimacy, creates a culture where vulnerability is ridiculed, limiting the number of authentic relationships and enforcing the rigid gender norm placed on men.

Additionally, Orenstein observes that “Loyalty is a paramount, and masculinity is habitually established through misogynistic language and homophobia”(6) which underscores how language is used to assert dominance in male relationships and social circles. By using homophobic and sexist language, men can assert power and conform to the traditional norm that men are stronger and more dominant than women. This shows how language choices can change or reinforce prejudices and power dynamics, only making gender norms even more prevalent. Lastly, Orenstein discusses the term “sl*t” in this quote, “ That fluidity, the elusiveness of the word's definition, only intensifies its power, much like sl*t for girls”(6). This highlights the fluidity and power of words and their effect on shaping perceptions of femininity and masculinity. This fluidity shows how the intention and definition of a word can police gendered behavior and expand the gender boundary. The intention behind language can get lost behind the definition and in return, the word can be viewed as intentionally cruel. If we change the language we use when speaking about genders, the gender boundary will close and linguistics will have a good effect instead of a bad one. 

When we use gender-based language, we broaden the gender gap and enforce gender norms, even if we don't know it. “Wordslut: A Feminist Guide to Taking Back the English Language” by Amanda Montell is an examination of how language, gender, and power intersect. Montell delves into how language shapes and reflects societal attitudes towards gender, offering solutions to fixing gender-based language. In her exploration of gendered language, Montell observes, “However, scholars agree that guys are just another masculine generic in cozier clothing. There'd be no chance of you gals earning the same lexical love, and people who actively avoid gender-biased words like ma'am often still use guys, as if it were any less gendered.”(12) This displays the biases that are embedded in our language and the way we speak, highlighting neutral terms that we usually see as innocent. Using this gender-based language, we perpetuate gender norms by normalizing addressing a group of people with a masculine term. Although this is an issue, Montell offers a solution by telling the reader to pay more attention to the language we use and use more gender-neutral terms. Additionally, Montell explores the fluidity of gender definitions, acknowledging, "Frustrating as it may be, there is ultimately not one simple definition of the word gender or man or woman. Some use gender to refer to a set of culturally learned behaviors, or a social status imposed upon them as a result of their sex. Others use it to mean an inherent sense of identity linked to their instinct or brain. Some use it to mean both."(7) This quote underscores the complex and multifaceted nature of gender identity. There is no definition of gender and practicing changing our linguistic choices can stop making males at the top of the patriarchy and rather open up language to all genders. This agrees with my thesis that our language choices and how we use language around our peers, affect how we view power dynamics and gender disparity.

 In conclusion, the relationship between language gender, and power is evident in all these texts. From Virginia Woolf's critique of the patriarchy in literature to Peggy Orenstein's examination of masculinity norms in contemporary American culture to Amanda Montell's call for reclaiming gender-neutral language, each work highlights the influence of language on shaping and reinforcing societal attitudes towards gender. I asked you guys a question before if you think of each word you say. I hope after you read this essay that you try to think more about how you address your peers, family, and colleagues and try to lessen the gender gap rather than expanding it. When we speak, our intention can get hidden behind the definition and our language choices reflect how society is today. If we change our language, we can change the world.