I love you. To some people, those words mean nothing. They hear them and then brush it off like it was never said, or they say it like it is a joke. Others, like me, hear them and then hold on to that person desperately because they fear that if they let go, even for a fraction of a second, they will no longer be loved and they will be alone, just like before. Questions like “Why am I not enough?” or “What did I do wrong?” Why do we have those thoughts in our minds? How are we supposed to feel worthy of staying here when those three words are being thrown around as if they mean nothing? How are we supposed to want to stay if we can’t find one person to love us the way we NEED to be loved? We know that if you lose something, it can’t be replaced. That is a sad thing to have to carry with you and be reminded of daily, but the part that makes it even sadder is that it’s true. We have scars from loving too passionately to the wrong people, and we can’t rid ourselves of the reminders of you. The little things that you would do, we do them without thinking and then we are in bed crying for days because you hurt us so bad. We so are hurt. We are depressed. And we cry ourselves to sleep. But still, we check on you and remind you that we love you. That we will always be there for you. That the hard times will be over soon, even if we don’t believe that ourselves. Even if we’d rather give up. We push through… Because we love you. No one sees how bad we hurt. That’s just not who we are. We know that loving someone should not be one-sided, but should be equal. We know this, and we don’t forget this, but still, we proceed into our pain. We tell ourselves that we are loved, deep down. It’s not true. We fight, and defend you, but for what? For our heart to break with every word. Sometimes, we wake up wanting to die… then go to bed wishing we had. Then we do things like hurt ourselves. We do this to make sure we can still feel SOMETHING. We look for things to prove that you are good, that you are worthy of us, to prove that you are gonna return what we are putting into the relationship. But you dont. We ignore the people that say “They are gonna hurt you…” We ignore them because we have hope. We have hope that maybe, just maybe, you do love us. We hope that you are just confused about the emotions that you are feeling. We hope that it will fix itself. But it doesn't. It never will. It’s just the way you are. You will never love me in the way that I need. See, we aren’t scared to fall in love. Not at all. But even though we refuse to admit it, we are terrified of being rejected. We push and we are “clingy” because we don’t want to lose you. Could be because we lost someone in the past, or it could be because every time we put our hearts on the tightrope, someone jumps and our hearts go tumbling into the void. We don’t ask for much, we just ask that you don’t think love is a joke, or that it is a word to be taken lightly. That’s all we ask for, but I guess it’s too hard. I guess no one can understand that that’s all we need. All we need is for you to say, and mean three little words… I love you. But you dont. You dont and I dont think you ever will. It's starting to feel like all you are ever gonna do is pretend. Pretend that you love us, pretend to be there. Just when the going gets tough, you leave. You hurt us deeply. You make us feel like no one will ever love us. You make us feel like we’re not good enough. It takes us so long to get over you, and when we finally do, if we do, it’s then that you want to be a part of our lives. Then you treat us like we are the bad guys when we say no. You make us feel like horrible people and see that we are “breaking your heart”. We didn't show you us breaking. Why do you have to make us see you break? You did this to yourself. You were the one that chose not to love us in the first place. You were the one to make US feel like we should just die “because no one will ever love me”. Well, guess what? We finally figured out something… You wanna know what it is? YOU are the one that hurt US, not the other way around. Notice, I said hurt, not broke. You do not break us. No one can break us. We are strong. We will be loved, but not by you, by someone that will truly love us. Someone that will love us for being “clingy”. Someone that will love that we tell them that we love them every five minutes. That is the kind of person that is worthy of our love. Not you. Never you. You lost your opportunity. I’ve come too far for you to hurt me again. I have grown. I still hurt, but not because you don’t love me. It’s because you lost the chance to love me. You lost my love. You’re never getting it back. I am too strong for you to break me.