White Ribbon | Teen Ink

White Ribbon

January 15, 2011
By EmilyGram BRONZE, Simpsonville, South Carolina
EmilyGram BRONZE, Simpsonville, South Carolina
2 articles 0 photos 73 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;And by the way, everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise. The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt.&quot;<br /> Sylvia Plath


Summary:

They told us we were adopted, part of their tribal family. But I’m still not sure that we’ve escaped the Officials back home. I know that the tribe won’t let me leave this place, and I know that if I go home the City will kill me there.

My brother watches the dance hugging the leg of the woman who tells him she’s his mother. My sister, at least, remembers we are sisters. She knows I do not love the chief’s son.

Eamon holds my waist with strong hands as we dance, and the chief looks on in approval. I think of Lazaro. I think of my kiss with Lazaro, and I see him in the crowd. I meet his eyes with shame.
The crowd is ready to cheer and clap. My wedding is almost over.


EGram

White Ribbon


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This book has 90 comments.


Violets said...
on Apr. 15 2011 at 12:29 pm
Violets, Emmett, Michigan
0 articles 0 photos 21 comments

OMG this was totally awesome!!! This shoudl be a book...i would totally buy it!!!!!

 


on Apr. 9 2011 at 6:07 pm
wordjunkie BRONZE, Houston, Texas
1 article 0 photos 105 comments

Favorite Quote:
Those who say it can&#039;t be done should not interrupt those who are doing it.

Written well and descriptive! I couldn't read the whole thing, but I loved what  did.

on Mar. 30 2011 at 3:04 pm
EmilyGram BRONZE, Simpsonville, South Carolina
2 articles 0 photos 73 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;And by the way, everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise. The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt.&quot;<br /> Sylvia Plath

Hi Jake!  I would love to help you out with your novel!  That's what this site is for :)  Any specific feedback you can give me about White Ribbon so far would be greatly appreciated as well!

on Mar. 30 2011 at 3:02 pm
EmilyGram BRONZE, Simpsonville, South Carolina
2 articles 0 photos 73 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;And by the way, everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise. The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt.&quot;<br /> Sylvia Plath

I'm so glad!  I will be posting chapters 13-16 very soon! :)  Thanks for all your votes and support!

on Mar. 28 2011 at 12:43 pm
jbaker0184 BRONZE, Brromfield, Colorado
3 articles 0 photos 10 comments
Very Interesting story Emily.  I realy liked where you went with it.  My name is Jake and I want you to stay in touch with me.  I may need help with my novel.

on Mar. 25 2011 at 7:47 pm
JustAnotherOwl SILVER, Unknown, New York
6 articles 0 photos 378 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;See, we don&#039;t really care who you are;<br /> Everyone is capable of looking up and wishing on a star.<br /> So catch it, so contagious, this day-dreamer&#039;s disease,<br /> And hope can be your sword, slaying darkness with belief.&quot;<br /> <br /> &quot;Sanctuary&quot;- Paradise Fears

Hehe. Now I'm just pathetically waiting until new chapters are up...

on Mar. 22 2011 at 11:44 am
Internal-Love PLATINUM, Queens, New York
33 articles 3 photos 310 comments

Favorite Quote:
Nothing&#039;s black or white, its all just a shade of gray---<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> TI &quot;Live your Life&quot; ft Rihanna

your welcome :D

koolwords said...
on Mar. 22 2011 at 6:43 am
koolwords, Baton Rouge, Louisiana
0 articles 0 photos 28 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Unless you put your whole meaning into something, it&#039;s a waste.&quot; -Yvonne Tindelll

Hey I finished it and it was really good.

I liked how there was this kind of twist were you aren't sure who's the bad guy. Then the whole thing about the society's laws about no outsiders. It's just cool.

 

Keep writing because I'm sure we're all waiting for the end and we all would rather have it sooner then later.

 

Rock on!


on Mar. 21 2011 at 9:54 pm
EmilyGram BRONZE, Simpsonville, South Carolina
2 articles 0 photos 73 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;And by the way, everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise. The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt.&quot;<br /> Sylvia Plath

Actually, I'm pretty sure that chapter 12 is the last chapter I'll post on TeenInk.  You can find the rest on Inkpop.  I hope you do!

on Mar. 21 2011 at 9:52 pm
EmilyGram BRONZE, Simpsonville, South Carolina
2 articles 0 photos 73 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;And by the way, everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise. The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt.&quot;<br /> Sylvia Plath

Thank you thank you thank you thank you.  This comment really made my day.  Thank you!

on Mar. 21 2011 at 9:52 pm
EmilyGram BRONZE, Simpsonville, South Carolina
2 articles 0 photos 73 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;And by the way, everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise. The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt.&quot;<br /> Sylvia Plath

Thank you, mummers4, for all your feedback and support!

on Mar. 21 2011 at 9:51 pm
EmilyGram BRONZE, Simpsonville, South Carolina
2 articles 0 photos 73 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;And by the way, everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise. The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt.&quot;<br /> Sylvia Plath

Thank you!  I'm glad you like it!

on Mar. 21 2011 at 9:51 pm
EmilyGram BRONZE, Simpsonville, South Carolina
2 articles 0 photos 73 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;And by the way, everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise. The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt.&quot;<br /> Sylvia Plath

Thank you so much.  You commented on all of my TeenInk writings and I'm so grateful for that!  Your feedback is so encouraging, and I can't thank you enough.

on Mar. 21 2011 at 9:50 pm
EmilyGram BRONZE, Simpsonville, South Carolina
2 articles 0 photos 73 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;And by the way, everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise. The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt.&quot;<br /> Sylvia Plath

Thank you.  I really appreciate your comment, and if you do get a chance to finish it, please let me know what you think of the rest! :)

on Mar. 21 2011 at 9:49 pm
EmilyGram BRONZE, Simpsonville, South Carolina
2 articles 0 photos 73 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;And by the way, everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise. The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt.&quot;<br /> Sylvia Plath

Thank you!  Please check back as more of the story is published :)

on Mar. 21 2011 at 2:51 pm
Internal-Love PLATINUM, Queens, New York
33 articles 3 photos 310 comments

Favorite Quote:
Nothing&#039;s black or white, its all just a shade of gray---<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> TI &quot;Live your Life&quot; ft Rihanna

oh, and i forgot to say i love how almost all the chapters are named after colors. i got caught in the story, i felt like i knew all the characters right away. And it was cool how instead of starting the story with a huge introduction, you just started the scene.

Ok, NOW I'm officially done with my feedback :)

i'll be sure to buy this book in barnes and noble!! ;)


on Mar. 21 2011 at 2:49 pm
Internal-Love PLATINUM, Queens, New York
33 articles 3 photos 310 comments

Favorite Quote:
Nothing&#039;s black or white, its all just a shade of gray---<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> TI &quot;Live your Life&quot; ft Rihanna

Hi Emily. Thanks so much for asking me to read your story!! i enjoyed reading every chapter. You have excellent writing skills, i tell you. Of all the nice novels i imagine on the shelves of bookstores, this one would fit right in. The words weave together so beautifully. You say so much in so little words. The story.........how it was written........when i read the summary i knew it was going to be a good story. This is authentic sci fi right here. I'm enchanted, impressed. WOW *rubs eyes in amazement* just wow.

i don't even think my feedback comment can fully say everything i think about this story right now.


mummers4 said...
on Mar. 20 2011 at 6:29 am

Dear EGRAM

Yesterday, I reread the first 8 chapters of your story and then read your latest chapters.  Your latest chapters are as outstanding as the first 8.  Your characters have life and involve the reader with their problems and feelings. I can't wait to read more. This book should certainly be published!


on Mar. 19 2011 at 7:01 pm
This is so good! I am not very far but I want to keep reading because I need to know what happens! It is very well written, not choppy, not overdone, and I like the perspective and setting!

PJD17 SILVER said...
on Mar. 18 2011 at 8:10 pm
PJD17 SILVER, Belleville, Illinois
8 articles 0 photos 624 comments

Favorite Quote:
I do the best imatation of myself- Ben Folds

i'm very impresed with this story  i read the whole thing in one sitting, and couldnt get enough of it,  i love the way the characters are written, and the story flows marvelously  i'm not much of a sci fye fan, but i greatly enjoyed this story  keep it up!