This is the story of how I came out as trans. Oh, and befriended a murder of crows, “defeated” a dragon, saved a kingdom, and met a princess. But let me back up. My name is Corvus, but my parents named me “Melody.” That’s the name I had for- what, thirteen years of my life? Lots of people say the name suited me. Something about me having a pretty voice. Doesn’t matter now. Just call me Corvus. You know, like the crow.

Before the whole “saving a kingdom” thing, I used to live really, really far out. My folks lived in a village that specialized in raising livestock or working with metal. You lived there, you’d probably end up doing one of those things. Horses especially were in high demand. The kingdom was a landlocked country, so horse or foot was the only way to travel. You can probably guess what my parents did for a living. My mom was the one who worked with horses, and my dad worked with metal.

Mom was famous for her skill in training and breeding horses. She raised several of the king’s own steeds. I got my black hair from her, but not her personality. Mom was shrewd and sly, just like a fox. If I had a quarter of her sharp judgment, I probably wouldn’t be telling you this story. But I digress.

Dad was a well known metalsmith. He could do armor, tools, all kinds of stuff. I heard rumors that if you brought him a scrap of metal, he could make anything out of it. No idea if any of them were true. Metalsmithing wasn’t my thing. I got his brown eyes though, so dark they almost look black. And his stubbornness. If Dad wanted to get something done, he wouldn’t stop until it was finished.

Life there wasn’t bad. I learned how to ride and care for horses, tended to the gardens my mom kept, and got my spirit mark. I’d say that was the best part of my life. Oh, right, you probably don’t know what I’m talking about. Spirit marks and spirit guardians were an ancient magic; used to be practiced almost everywhere. But I guess the practice died out, until only a few kingdoms kept it alive.

Spirit marks were basically a magical tattoo creating a bond between you and your spirit guardian. “Spirit guardian” was a mouthful to say though, so most people just said “familiar.” When you turned thirteen, you could choose to visit the local mage — that’s someone trained in the art of finding familiars — and find out what your familiar was. People said it’s best to do it as soon as possible, but you could wait until later to get it.

About a month after my thirteenth birthday, my parents took me to get my spirit mark. I remember the experience vividly. Mom put extra effort into braiding my hair that day, even taking time to entwine petunias with the strands. Selene, that was the old mage’s name, lived in a rundown, ancient cottage. Our village had offered multiple times to help her build a better place, but she’d always refused. “This old shell may be in poor condition, but the memories it holds are priceless treasures to me.”

It didn’t take long to get there, but each step felt charged with electric tension. My parents waited outside. “Don’t worry, Melody,” Dad whispered as he hugged me. Mom only gave me a pinched smile. “Good luck.”

The door automatically swung open, before my hand even touched it. Inside was dark and stuffy, barely lit by the sunlight forcing its way through grimy windows. I fought back the urge to sneeze. It felt like an army of dust specks lived there. Tapestries hung along the walls, each depicting different phases of the moon, with unfamiliar words embroidered underneath.

“Melody,” a voice clear as glass filled the small room. The mere sound of my name (dead name, mind you) chilled my body. “You have chosen to begin your journey. Ah, it only feels like mere moments ago I met your father and mother.”

I whipped around, trying to locate the sound of Selene’s voice. I only saw a pair of piercing blue eyes. The rest of her was hidden in the shadows. Or maybe she was just a pair of eyes.

“Yes...” the mage continued. “The horse and the fox. The strong and stubborn, the clever and cunning.” The eyes seemed to drill into my soul. “But you are neither. Have a seat now, and perhaps we can glance into your future.”

My feet seemed to move on their own, tugging my body along until I sat down on a beaten wooden chair. It creaked under my weight, but luckily didn’t break. I flinched as a pair of hands landed on my right wrist.

“Melody... you will not keep that name for long,” Selene murmured.

What? What do you mean? I nearly cried, but kept my mouth shut. The old mage’s hands were very pale, almost translucent. Her fingers danced across my wrist, as if they were mapping out where my spirit mark would go.

“As the crow flies, you too will depart.” Her eyes became brighter as she said those words, shining with an unearthly aura. But I didn’t have time to think about that for long, as searing pain shot through my wrist. I yelped, snatching my wrist out of her grasp. Selene laughed, the sound like a bird’s song. When I peered down at my skin, there was a small image of a crow.

“That is the bond between you and your guardian. You will be able to communicate through the mind. Take care now.” The hands waved me away before whisking back into the shadows. I stumbled outside, squinting at the sudden burst of sunlight. Mom and Dad were still waiting outside the cottage. “Hey, you survived!” Dad joked. Mom’s expression was unreadable.

“Well? What animal is your guardian?”

“It’s, uh, a crow.”

“Interesting,” she muttered. Then she clapped her hands together. “Let’s head home now. It’s time for your riding practice.” Mom set a brisk pace, her feet kicking up small clouds of dust. I scrambled after her, nearly face planting into the dirt trail.

Learning how to ride a horse was a necessity if you lived outside the main part of the kingdom. A majority of my lessons were done with Petunia, Dad’s spirit guardian. She was a pretty brown and white pinto mare, with a mane as soft as flower petals. The name didn’t come from her hair, though. It was because she kept trying to eat Mom’s prized petunias.

I saw her then, blissfully grazing in Mom’s flower garden. Petunia must have heard me approaching, as she lifted her head up and blinked innocently. “Hi Petunia. I see we’re back to eating flowers?” The mare whinnied, following me away from the plants and into the riding area. It was just a dirt area behind the house, churned by hundreds of hooves.

I saddled her up and nudged her into a basic trot. After a few minutes going back and forth, we began moving into a canter. That was the best part of riding a horse. The way the wind whipped past my face and through my hair was absolutely exhilarating. But the feeling didn’t last long.

“Melody! Melody!” Mom’s voice cut through the air. I slowed down, turning Petunia around to face her. Her icy blue eyes shone with disapproval. “You shouldn’t be riding so fast. And fix your position.”

I swung my legs around and moved into a sidesaddle position. “What’s wrong with it?”

“It’s unwomanly,” she responded simply. “You’re thirteen now, it’s important to know how to act like a proper lady.”

I didn’t say anything then, but the thought was racing through my mind. What if I don’t want to be a “proper lady”?

After a disappointing session of simply walking back and forth, it was time for dinner. Past me was wrong in thinking that would be the end of the “unwomanly” speech. Over cheese, bread, dried fruit, and nuts, Mom brought up the topic of marriage.

“Melody, you’re quickly growing into an independent woman,” Mom began, trying for a soothing smile and ending up with an unsettling sneer. “Which means you’ll be taking on greater responsibilities soon. Such as finding a good husband and managing your own household. Of course, understand that neither of us are pressuring you to get married so soon.”

Dad nodded, feeding crusts of bread to a fluffy red fox. “Yep. I’m sure Bifford here would love having your company a little longer.”

Yes, the fox’s name was seriously Bifford. He was Mom’s spirit guardian. An incredibly spoiled one, too. Following Dad’s words, the rascal paused from devouring his bread to bear his teeth at me.

“I think if I spend any longer here, Biffy will bite my hand off.” I poked the fox’s head to emphasize my words. He recoiled instantly, screaming at me as he scrambled away from the table.

Mom didn’t comment on Bifford’s rapid retreat, but she wore a pinched smile. “You will have to get married someday, Melody. Knowing how to behave properly and raise your family is very important.”

I took a bite of cheese. It felt more like eating molten metal, the kind that Dad poured with utmost care into his molds. The conversation had turned to more mundane topics. Something about how Dad was making a set of silverware for our neighbors. I wasn’t listening.

If you asked me when I realized I was trans, I would probably point to this moment. The idea of finding a good husband, caring for children, cooking and cleaning... Well, there’s nothing wrong with it really, it just wasn’t what I wanted to do with my life. For much of my life, I never worried about this. I just lived in ignorant bliss, without having to worry about adult responsibilities.

Yet it was an inherent part of the identity I’d been assigned. All of a sudden, the question was there. A great, looming beast, silently waiting for an answer. Who are you?

“Mom, Dad...”

Their cheerful chatter stalled. Two pairs of eyes, brown and blue, fixed directly on me. I took a deep breath.

“I don’t want to be a woman.”

Silence. The liquid metal had solidified, forming an iron enclosure around my throat. Then laughter exploded into the too small room. Mom practically cackled, looking as if I had told the best joke she ever heard. Dad was equally amused, nearly dropping his bread as he laughed. I sunk into my chair, wishing a hole would appear beneath me then and there.

Their burning laughter eventually died down, becoming uncomfortable heat licking at my face. I silently excused myself from the table. Mom had begun rambling about two wealthy merchants interested in purchasing some horses.

That was my disastrous attempt at coming out to my parents. The perfect world I lived in had suddenly been torn apart at the seams. And yet, I didn’t feel completely devastated. No, something else had appeared. A feeling far more powerful than grief. It was determination. The push I needed to be set in motion had arrived.

Several days after that dinner, fliers began appearing around the village. On a dark, frosty night, I found one lying on the ground as I tended to the horses before going to bed.

Brave knights looking for glory

Please expel the dragon Linius

Go to the king when the dragon is gone

REWARD: Princess Alexandria’s hand in marriage

I wasn’t a brave knight, and I certainly wasn’t looking for glory or marriage. But for an impulsive, resentful thirteen-year-old, this was the perfect opportunity.

I slipped away that same night. Throwing a cloak around my shoulders, I crammed food and spare clothes into a leather satchel. I picked out a horse at random; a feisty stallion with a pure black coat. Then we were riding away into the gaping maw of the unknown.

...

I met Godfrey right before running into the dragon. The horse and I were following a beaten dirt trail, twisting and weaving through a thick green forest. Linius was a legendary dragon; everyone had heard of him. And unsurprisingly, everyone knew where his lair was located. The place we traveled through was simply known as “Dragon Woods.” I heard rustling behind me, but brushed it off as random leaves. Then I heard flapping wings.

Salutations, Melody.

A sophisticated voice that couldn’t possibly be my own echoed through my mind. My gaze snapped to a nearby tree. A murder of crows, a dozen in total, perched in its branches. The largest one tilted its head at me.

I am Godfrey. And you are alone, the bird noted. That is strange for a human.

“You’re my familiar?” I asked dumbly. Godfrey cawed, followed by eleven other cries.

Indeed. I see you are traveling to Linius’s cave. Would you mind some company on your journey?

“Uh- no, no I wouldn’t. And if you’re Godfrey...” I gestured to the other crows. “Are those the other Godfreys?”

I chose to interpret the chorus of caws I received as confirmation. Gently tugging on the horse’s reins, we continued forward. The trees began to thin, and a yawning cave loomed over us. My horse nickered as he instinctively came to a stop. I slid off, reassuringly patting his flank. “So, Godfrey... I know I just met you but, uh, want to fight a dragon with me?”

Gladly. Although, I am afraid the other Godfreys will wait outside with your steed.

“That’s- that’s fine.” I was fairly sure my voice cracked when I said that.

We barely made it three steps into the cavern when Linius appeared. He was enormous. His amber eyes were the size of shields, glinting in the gloom. His mottled green scales seemed never ending, coiling and coiling and filling the vast cave.

“Well then.” Even his voice was like thunder. “It’s lovely to meet you. Please, tell me what brings you here.”

I blinked, trying to calm my pounding heart. Godfrey flew up onto my shoulder, his talons poking against my skin. “It’s, uh, the king’s orders? He, well, wants you to not be here anymore.”

“Ah... I should have expected that,” Linius sighed. I took another look at his body, noticing that it was deeply scarred. Almost as if I wasn’t the first to come traipsing into his home. I suddenly became conscious of the fact that I had no weapon on me.

That’s not very good. Which was probably the understatement of the century.

“Would you mind hearing a small history lesson?”

I frantically nodded.

“Excellent. The previous king — the currently reigning monarch’s father — abolished a law allowing me to live here. It was first established by his grandfather. However, when that great man passed, the public attitude towards us dragons began to shift. Perhaps it was because stories of my more... unruly brethren spread from other kingdoms.”

“So the previous king was pressured into getting rid of it. Which means you’re not some evil dragon, but just someone who wants to live in peace?”

“That’s right. And as you can guess, knights began coming from all over for a chance to vanquish the evil beast.” Linius’s tone dripped with sarcasm.

Godfrey cawed softly. I do not believe that is the king’s fault. If the people’s opinion has changed, then he must comply. It may be an insensitive suggestion, but perhaps it is time for Linius to move on?

I voiced this opinion to Linius. He didn’t respond immediately, and for a second I thought he was preparing to devour Godfrey and I. Then he chuckled. It was a quiet noise, but I could hear a hint of bitterness in his laugh.

“Oh, I’ve never heard any knight propose such an idea before. Many of them let their blade speak for them. But your idea is a helpful one. I’ve lurked here long enough. Come to think of it, I haven’t visited my family in a while,” he mused.

“Aren’t you upset that you’re getting kicked out?” I blurted.

“Oh, certainly. But if those here do not want me, then I’ll simply find those who do. I’ve taken up enough of your time, though. Goodbye, young knight. Perhaps we’ll meet again some day.”

Godfrey and I bid farewell to Linius, quickly retreating from the cave. The other Godfreys seemed very relieved to see us, cawing and flapping their wings.

“Now that we’ve talked to Linius...” I climbed back onto my horse, turning him around and beginning to walk out of the woods. “Let’s go talk to the king.”

...

“Dear knight...” the king began, his voice quiet. “I am eternally indebted to you. Please, what is your name?”

I hesitated. Godfrey, perched on my shoulder, rustled his wings but otherwise didn’t comment.

“Corvus, your majesty.”

“Corvus, you have done a great favor for my kingdom.” The king smiled at me, but I noticed his eyes were filled with sorrow. “As promised, you may have my daughter’s hand in marriage. I give you my blessing.”

“Uh, your majesty? I don’t want to sound rude or anything, but, well, I’m not actually interested? In, you know, marrying your daughter?” I silently wished I had Godfrey’s eloquence.

“That’s a relief,” a new voice interjected. I jumped, realizing that Princess Alexandria had arrived. Her emerald green eyes swept across the room before landing on me. “No offense to you, of course, but I’m not interested in getting married either.”

I simply nodded, relief flooding my mind. Sure, Princess Alexandria was beautiful, but she was beautiful in the same way you called a masterpiece painting beautiful. There was admiration, but not adoration.

The king’s gaze flicked between us. Then he began to laugh. It was a freeing kind of laugh, as if the whole weight of the kingdom had been taken off his chest. “Goodness, I- I don’t mean to laugh at you. I’m simply far too attached to my children. But I have to thank you somehow. Any wish you have, I will do my best to grant.”

The answer came to me immediately. I wouldn’t last very long with a bag, a murder of crows, and a horse. And if the king was offering...

“Your majesty, do you have any places for me to stay?”

“Ah, of course! Alexandria, would you mind showing her around? Pick any empty room you like.”

Her. That simple word pricked at my mind. I shook it off, trailing after the princess.

“You can just call me Alex.” The words were casually tossed over her shoulder.

“Yes, your- uh, okay... Alex.” We began climbing a flight of stairs. “So... Alex? Can I, uh, tell you something?”

She glanced at me. “Go ahead.”

“Well... the thing is...” I kept my gaze down, focusing on the stairs passing under our feet. “I’m, uh... not a girl.”

She stopped in front of an ornate wooden door. It swung open to reveal a small but comfortable looking room. Just the right size for me and a dozen crows. “How do you want me to refer to you, then?” she asked, her tone completely genuine.

“Uh, I guess you can say I’m a boy? I haven’t thought about it that far,” I admitted.

“Oh, that’s perfectly fine. Corvus, right? I’ll keep that in mind. Oh, and just shout if you need anything. But don’t be too loud, or the royal knights might come storming into your room. See you around.”

I had no idea if she was being serious or not, still reeling from how calmly she had reacted. I waved goodbye to Alex and shuffled into the room. I half fell, half sat at a simple wooden desk, finding papers, an inkstand, and quill. 

I like that name, Godfrey mused, hopping down onto the desk. It is an excellent fit, if I may say.

I nodded, scratching away at a sheet of paper. “Thanks, Godfrey.” I picked up the letter, scanning over the scribbled words.

Dear Mom and Dad,

I’m sorry for disappearing so suddenly, and taking one of your horses. Both me and the horse are doing fine. But I was being serious when I said I don’t want to be a girl anymore. I think I’m happier this way.

I talked to the dragon Linius, and he said he’s going to be leaving the kingdom. So the king gave me a place to stay as thanks. I’m going to live here for a while. If you want, I’ll write you lots of letters. Say hi to Petunia and Biffy for me.

Your child,

Corvus