“Sweetheart, I know that this a big change, but it needs to happen. Maybe you don’t understand but your dad and I just didn’t work out.”

“No, Mom, it’s fine. I totally get it,” I reassure her. I put on the face that reads, “I’m all set.” But underneath the surface, I’m not okay. The truth is, I hate Dad. I hate him for what he did to me. To Mom. To our whole family. But I have to be strong for Mom. If I break down, then she will too. She’s just that kind of person. Just for more reassurance, I add, “I think change is kind of healthy anyway.”

Unlike a lot of kids, I enjoy change. I love it when things happen. I love nature for this very reason. And I love action films for this reason. I also love birthdays. Not just mine either. But as we’re driving through Rochester to Dover, I’m not happy. Even though it’s change. You’d think I’d love that we’re moving to Dover. Get a new house. New school. New friends. Normally, this would all be very exciting for me. But because of the sucky mood Dad has forced me in, I can’t appreciate any of it. I make a mental note to appreciate the change when I feel better.

Mom drives through downtown Dover because she feels like going on a mini tour. She originally wanted to go on one today but it’s storming outside. Getting struck by lightning was not on my to-do-list last time I checked.

We drive by a couple of family owned businesses (I assume they’re family-owned because I never saw them in other towns.) and a few banks. Mom points out Henry Law Park and then she shows me the Asia restaurant. She knows how much I love Chinese food. I smile and nod the whole time, making mental notes to check these places out sometime. When I’m in the mood.

Our house is more or less what I expected. It’s white with a gray roof. There’s a front door with cement steps leading up to it. There’s one window on each side of the door. Then there’s a side door with a deck surrounding it. The yard is somewhat decent. The grass is mostly green except for a few brown patches and it needs to be mowed. The garden needs some serious weeding and the trees in the backyard are growing out of control.

Mom pops open the trunk and grabs a couple boxes. They’re labeled: “Summer” and “Collectibles.” Mom’s always been a sucker for collectibles. When we lived in Maine, our house was huge. It was yellow with a big porch and it was three stories. In Mom and Dad’s bedroom she had a bookcase full of old model cars and valuable dolls, all still in their boxes. In this house, I have no idea where she’ll put her 23 collectibles.

Mom walks up to the side door and then she disappears into the new house. Soon I see her hand place her shoe against the door to prop it open. I send Mom a mental “Thank you” and grab my two boxes. I stack them on top of each other and remember what it was like packing. When I was done, my room looked half empty. Just like my heart. Half of my stuff had to stay because I now know it wouldn’t have fit and also, so that I don’t have to lug stuff back and forth if I want to spend time with Dad. I kept all my dad related things in Eliot. Mom says that she’ll give me money to go shopping for more clothes and accessories if I want.

The side door leads to the kitchen. It’s small and very cute. You can tell this is an older house. The floor is bit uneven, the cabinets squeak and have that old feel to them. The stove is electric and the fridge is small. It works though because it’s just the two of us anyway. The fridge is to the right of the door and encased by what looks like a cubby. There’s two cabinets above that. Coming off of the cubby is a bar. I can already tell that’s where we’re eating every night.

The whole first half of the house is open. The kitchen leads straight into the dining room and then there’s a hall going from the kitchen where you pass a bathroom, the basement door, a bedroom (probably Mom’s) and it goes into the living room. Well, what will be the living room. Right now there’s nothing in any of these rooms besides the kitchen. Mom just told me the plan for each room on the way. Then there’s stairs in between the living room and the dining room that go to more bedrooms I would assume. I march up the stairs and enter the door to the right. This room is definitely bedroom material. There’s a nice closet, shelves lining one wall, and then like a miniature closet on the other side. On our way here, we bought air mattresses because we won’t have any beds for the first week or so. Mom’s still working where she worked before at the Shipyard. I have no idea what she actually does because I never really cared. I still don’t care.

I put my boxes in the middle of the floor and go downstairs. Mom is still unloading stuff from the car. As she opens them, I can see canned foods and cereal boxes and lots of other nonperishables. I’m about to go back outside to get more boxes when Mom says, “Don’t bother, Judy. This is the last box. And I was thinking that maybe we could stay in, blow up the air mattresses and play a board game?”

Playing board games is a tradition for Mom and me. I pick one out and quickly get into my pajamas. I blow up an air mattress for both of us and place them in the living room. There’s enough space in front of us to place a board game in the middle. I find the box that’s marked “Blankets” and pull out my favorite plush blanket with snowflakes on it. Then I take out Mom’s favorite comforter which is blue with thin white stripes going horizontal. I smell popcorn from the kitchen and soon Mom comes in and sets herself down on the mattress. The popcorn lands in between us. I take a big handful and plop one kernel in my mouth at a time, savoring the buttery taste.

Mom and I pick out our pieces and play the game into the night. I’m not sure who wins because before we can finish, both of us fall asleep and we still have half a bag of popcorn left.

When we moved to Dover, I left my best friend behind. Her name is Tricia Whitley. She is always there for me through everything, no matter what happens. She knows how to make me feel better and she’s easy to talk to. Luckily we didn’t move to Rhode Island or something.

I want to call her so bad but I can’t. Because we’re all settled in now, I’ve decided to get a job for the summer. Because I want to save up for my own car and help out Mom with the bills. I already have five hundred saved up for my own car. I want to at least get to three thousand by the end of the summer. It will take a lot of work but I’m willing to because right now, there’s nothing for me to do around here. I’m using Mom’s car, driving to all the stores where I see Help Wanted signs. I pass a few small shops and know it would be cool to work there but because it’s not a chain store, it has a chance of closing down. I do not want to go through that. So instead I look at places like Burger King, Wal-Mart, gas stations, but none of them really spark my interest.

Because I skipped breakfast this morning, I head down to Dunkin Donuts where I get an iced coffee and a butternut doughnut. While I’m paying the cashier, a thought pops into my head and blurts out my mouth. “Are you guys hiring by any chance?”

The cashier looks a bit shocked but soon regains her composure. She shrugs and hands me three dimes and a penny. “I’m not sure. Let me ask the manager.” The lady walks disappears around a corner and comes back five minutes later with a tall woman in a Dunkin Donuts shirt and I can only assume she’s the manager.

“You need a job?” she asks.

“Yes. For the summer,” I answer.

“All right. Well one of our cashier’s just quit so, Lisa, teach her the basics,” the manager orders and goes back around the corner. The girl named Lisa is older than me but still young. She has long blonde hair which I envy and green eyes. Her hands are quick and careful when she uses the register. I stand in front of her still, unsure what to do.

“Well, come back here. You’re holding up the line,” Lisa ushers. I quickly pass through to the other side and meet Lisa at the register. She begins to explain to me how to type in someone’s order, what to do for debit or credit cards, and then for cash. Within a few hours I’ve pretty much got it down. I don’t take anyone’s real order because I technically don’t have a job here yet I think. I think the manager wants to watch me work first to make sure I have the right skills. But how hard can it be to give someone a coffee and a bag of doughnuts?

By the end of the day, I’m feeling pretty good and decide to go down to Henry Law Park. I sit in the grass while reading a book. I’m on Chapter Five when I get tired of sitting and stand up, walking and walking, avoiding kids by staying in a general area. By the end of Chapter Eleven, I run into a tree. Well, it seemed like a tree at first.

“Hey, watch it!” A voice says. A boy voice.

I look up from the safety of my pages and see it’s a very handsome boy. My age I think. “Sorry!”

“Yeah, well next time don’t walk and read when you’re in a public place,” he says rudely.

“Well, excuse me! I’m sorry I enjoy exercising mentally and physically!” It isn’t the best comeback but it gives me enough time to leave. Without looking back I head to Mom’s car and drive away back home. It’s only 5:00 when I arrive. Mom’s not here so she must be on a walk. I take the opportunity to steal a few pieces of chocolate from her she-thinks-it’s-secret-but-not-really stash.

I grab a magazine from the counter that Mom apparently subscribed to. It’s mostly tips on how to furnish your house so it looks like cottage or something. Out of curiosity, I browse through it, looking at all the before and after pictures of kitchens, living rooms, bedrooms, even bathrooms. Honestly, the before pictures kind of look our house. Which is average. The after photos take a lot of time and money. Neither we have a lot of at the moment. At least not enough to make the wall in the kitchen completely mosaic.

I hear heavy footsteps from outside and know it’s Mom. The door opens and she comes in out of breath. “That was a good run,” she breathes. I smile and nod, agreeing with her as if I were there. She’s dressed in her workout clothes and running shoes, her dark hair pulled back in a ponytail. I wish she didn’t run. It’s not good for you if you’re running on asphalt. She should walk instead. Or run through the woods. Well, I guess there isn’t exactly any trails in this city.

“How was your day? Did you find a job?” Mom wonders, taking a swig from her water bottle.

“Oh, it was good. I think I’m going to be a cashier at your favorite place to get lunch!” I tell her.

“Ooh, sweet! Do I get discounts?” she asks.

“I don’t know if my position is certain yet. I have to return on Monday at noon.”

“Well, at least you’re getting somewhere. And if you can’t get a job, don’t worry about it. We’ll find a way to get your car,” Mom says and goes to her bedroom. She soon comes back out with a change of new clothes and goes in the bathroom.

My stomach grumbles and I realize I’m hungry. I yell to Mom, “Can I order takeout?” Over the noise of the shower I hear a faint, “Cash is in my purse.”

I pick up the phone and order cheese pizza.

In ten minutes, I hear a knock on the door. Mom just got out of the door and she’s getting changed. I grab the ten dollar bill from the counter and open the door. My eyes open wide with shock. It’s the same boy I ran into at the park. You’ve got to be kidding me. It seems like he only finds me familiar, but still doesn’t recognize me. I just shrug it off and hand him the money. He hands me the pizza and soon we’re back in our own separate worlds like it should be.