I was happy once. Yes, if I remember anything it is that I was happier than I thought was possible, happier than it is possible for me to be anymore. It was so long ago yet I can remember it like it was yesterday, oh yes I can remember the very last day I was happy as clear as the sky was that morning.

It was a beautiful morning; the sun shone threw my window so brightly it woke me up. The sun seemed to shine brighter back then. I lay in bed for a while before I got up just thinking about what the day would hold. I imagined I would get dressed, eat breakfast and go down the street and see my boyfriend Padrick Perish, but he was always Ricky to me. I was the only one he let call him that, and he was the only one I let call me Sunny, my name is Sondra, Sondra Sorrow and a few weeks after we met he told me it sounded like a sad name so he wanted to call me something happy like Sunny. He was 6ft exactly with dark brown hair that curled on the ends when he let it grow out. His eyes were greener than the rain forest after a tropical storm and his teeth were crooked in such a subtle way it was cute. He was thin but not skinny and he was strong but not bulked up. He was a dream to look at.
I have known Ricky since I was 9 and he was 10. I watched as his moving van pulled up from across the street where my grandma lived which was only 5 houses down from where I lived, we were a close family. One day when I was riding my new pink bike, thinking I was hot stuff having had my training wheels taken off the day before, he crashed into me on his much cooler skateboard. I guess we both thought we were too cool to look where we were going. I sat on the ground for a moment in shock and he just stared at me in silence. Unharmed, I spontaneously jumped up and he jumped back a little in surprise and tried to speak. But I had had run-ins with the boys on our street before, and I thought he was going to start yelling at me and telling me I needed to watch where I was going like all the other boys would have. So I just turned around and ran all the way home crying with a scraped knee to my mommy.
A few hours later Ricky came to my door with a plate of cookies he helped his mom make to say sorry for running into me. I was so shocked; he was so different than any other boy I had ever met. From that moment on, we were inseparable. We did everything together; we played games everyday after school. We watched movies together on Friday night and even had sleepovers. We would run off into the woods behind my house down to the stream and swim on hot summer days and he even played babies with me sometimes when I asked really nicely. We were best friends and that’s all I thought we would ever be until I was 17 and he was 18.
We were sitting in our fort, as we called it but really it was just an old red rug the size of a big car we found in an alley and a small round table we played board games on placed behind a large bush so no one could see. It was the first day of his senior year and I knew that a year from now he would be starting college and I would hardly see him. This thought broke my heart more than I was expecting, he is my best friend I thought so of course I’m sad he is leaving, but it was more than that, there was something else. As I looked into his green eyes it hit me like a little boy on a skate bored; I was madly in love with him. He must have realized the same thing because just then he leaned in and kissed me. From that moment on everything changed. We were more than best friends after that. He was my boyfriend and my best friend and I could not have been happier.
Today was our one year anniversary, a year. I couldn’t believe it time had flown buy so quickly, but I hear that happens when you’re in love. I got out of bed and headed down stairs. My parents were both already at work so I went to the kitchen to make some eggs for myself. As I turned the corner into my kitchen, there he was sitting at my dining table with a dozen roses in the center of the table and a big breakfast of pancakes and bacon. I was beaming with happiness when I looked at him and said “How did you get in here?” and he smiled at me in that mischievous but way cute way he did when he knew he surprised me and said, “Your mom let me in before she left for work.” I couldn’t believe he did all this for me. I walked over in my PJs and messy hair not even giving it a thought, he had seen me in worse shape, and I sat at the table with him. We ate breakfast and talked about the fair that was in town.
I couldn’t help but think in the back of my mind how he is leaving in a week for college. How this would be the last time we would do something like this for a very long time. He will only be half an hour away but that is forever after having him 5 houses down from me for 9 years. I shook this thought from my mind and put my focus back on this wonderful breakfast he made me. I looked up at him and giggled, he had a little piece of bacon on his check “How do you always make such a mess,” I asked as I got a napkin and cleaned him up. “I don’t know, but thank God I have you here to take care of me,” he said smiling like a 5 year old. He was lucky to have me to clean up after him or else he would be a constant mess. But I didn’t mind taking care of him, I was happy to make myself useful.

After we ate he cleaned up our dishes. I sat smiling at him while he rinsed the pan, he turned to me and said, “Go upstairs and get ready, we have a lot to do today.” “Ya? Like what?” I enthusiastically responded “I told you it’s a surprise Sunny. Now go get ready.” He said with his serious face so I just stuck my tongue out and slowly walked out of the kitchen but before I could get to the stairs he swept behind me and stole a light kiss and then pulled me close and whispered in my ear, “You didn’t think I would let you get away with out a kiss did you?” I smiled and whispered back, “Happy Anniversary Padrick Perish” He put his hands on my shoulders and looked straight in my eyes and with a smile he said, “Happy Anniversary Sondra Sorrow.” I kissed him one more time and turned around to head up stairs.

I took a quick shower and then hurried into a bright orange summer dress that Padrick always loved me in. I never wore much makeup, Padrick always said I was the most beautiful when I didn’t try. But today was special so I threw on a little eye shadow, blush and mascara. I put my hair up in a bun because it was about 90 degrees out and then made my way down stairs. Padrick was just sitting on the couch doing a crossword from the paper. He loved crosswords, we would do them together every once in a while but I was dreadful at them. He heard me coming down the stairs and looked up. His eyes got big and he said softly, “Wow Sunny you look amazing, I can’t wait to show you off.” That second I knew I would never forget the way he looked at me, like I was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. I blushed a little and said playfully “Come on babe we are burning day light.” He stood there another moment socking me in and then started to the door.

“This is my favorite song” I said turning the radio up in his car. I started singing along and bobbing my head. He turned to look at me and started laughing. I gave him a dirty look and told him to keep his eyes on the road I didn’t want the last thing for him to hear be my laughable signing voice. He gave me a smile and said “I love the sound of your voice baby, I only laughed because you make me so happy I can’t control myself.” he always knew the perfect thing to say to make me smile.

I still had no idea where we were going so I just got lost in the music. Then I looked out the window and saw the top of the big fares wheel that was part of the fair that was in town this weekend only. My face started glowing with happiness. I had never been to a fair before. I had always been too busy to go and Padrick known I always wanted to go. “Oh my god Ricky you’re the best!” I yelled so loud he cringed a little. “Ya I know I am.” he said with a wink.

As soon as he parked the car I leaped out and ran over to his door and pulled on his arm telling him to go faster like I was a five year old. Padrick just smiled and told me to calm down; he was always the sensible one. He took my hand and we walked to the ticket stand. He asked for the unlimited passes and then put a bracelet around my wrist “This will make it so you can go on as many rides as you want all day,” he said. I smiled and nodded with excitement. I helped put his on and we were off.
We went on every ride at least 2 times and Padrick won me a little stuffed cat which I promptly named Elle because it had an L looking mark on the tag that I’m sure was a symbol for the company that made it or something. As the sun started to set Padrick grabbed my hand and lead me over to the Ferris wheel the only ride we didn’t go on yet. It was the perfect time the light had just turned on and it looked like a beam from heaven. He let me in to the seat first then he slid in next to me. It was the perfect end to our perfect day and the very last moment I was truly happy.
Padrick dropped me off at 10 with a huge and a kiss. He said he would see me latter with a smile and a wink; I didn’t understand what he meant so I just said ok and gave him one last kiss.
When I got inside I threw my coat on the ground and skipped upstairs singing a little song. My mom stopped me and asked how my day was I told her it was wonderful and I was going to go relax in my room. I got to my room and started taking my clothes off to change into my PJs. When I was taking off my pants I noticed that there was something in the pocket. I reached into my pocket and pulled out a little piece of paper and opened it up. It said, “Hey baby I hope you find this, meet me at my house at 12, I have another surprise for you.” I laid on my bed holding the note next to my heart. I wonder what it is?

I woke up at 12:30 and jumped up. Oh no I fell asleep. I ran outside, I hope I didn’t miss my surprise. It was pouring rain when I got outside so I decided to go back inside and get my keys and take my car, yes I know it’s only 5 houses down but I didn’t know what my surprise was so I didn’t want to be all wet. I was in a panic, I got in my car and threw it in revers without looking behind me and stepped on it.

The last thing I remember was a bright light and a lowed crashing noise. I woke up a week later in the hospital. Everything hurt my body was so sore I had no idea what happened. I looked around the room and no one was there. But when I looked again Padrick was sitting next to the bed. I tried talking to him but he said nothing. I yelled for him “Padrick please talk to me what happened” but I heard nothing back. Then my mom burst into the room “Oh my God baby girl you’re awake.” And she wrapped me in a hug. I turned to her and said, “Mom why won’t Padrick talk to me? I don’t understand” she looks at me with a confused look then she looked around the room and said in a soft gentle voice “Honey you were in a car crash.” Then she took a long pause and said, “The car you crashed into was Padricks…” I cut her off before she finished and yelled out in tears “Is that why he won’t talk to me is he mad at me. Padrick I’m sorry I’m so sorry don’t hate me.” Padrick just sat there staring at me silently I looked at my mom again, my mom just looked confused and sad, I didn’t understand.

The next day my mom took me to a place she called a spa retreat. She said it would help me get over my injuries. When I asked my mom why Padrick was coming with us she just started to cry. He still wouldn’t talk to me and so I started to cry to. We pulled up and the employees took my bags and showed me to my room. That night I woke up in a cold sweat I looked around the room and padrick was just standing in the corner I yelled for him again, “Ricky please come and hold me I’m so scared I don’t understand what is going on.” He started walking to me and I was so happy I thought he had finally forgiven me then he started yelling at me “You killed me, you killed me how could you do this to me. I loved you and you killed me! I hate you!” I started screaming to block the sound of his voice and covering my ears. What was he talking about? How could he say he loved me but talk to me this way “I don’t understand” I screamed over and over until one of the maids came in and gave me a shot that put me to sleep.
“What happened to this girl?” said a nurse with a name tag that said Willow Springs Mental Institution and right under that Lilly to another nurse with the name rose on her name tag “She crashed into her boyfriend’s car and killed him on impact. She has been having schizophrenic delusions that he is still alive sense. It’s actually very sad. Her mom won’t even look at her she just dumped her off here without a word,” Rose said, Lilly gave the passed out girl in the bed a sad look and said, “Oh that is sad; she is such a pretty young thing too. I guess some parents just can’t handle things like this.”