The next morning, Mae’s phone went off at 7:30. She barely even heard it and probably wouldn’t have even bother to get up if Snake hadn’t groaned and nudged her.
“Hello?” Mae answered her voice tired.
“Oh sorry did I wake you?” Emily asked on the other side.
“Yeah Em, people in the Bay Area don’t really wake up before 9,” Mae says trying not to sound really annoyed. Mae knew Emily was an early riser. Always has been.
“Sorry, I thought you would be up and on a run at this time,” She explained. Mae used to get up every morning at 7 and run. She ran cross country in high school and it just kind of stuck with her after that.
“Not so much of a runner anymore Em. What’s up?” Mae asked taking the call in the hall so she wouldn’t wake Snake. He was never awake before 10 and if he was it was because Mae was cooking something and he smelt it in his dreams or something to that effect.
“I was just wondering if you wanted to hang out in the city today? I could drive your car and pick you up from Snake’s?” Emily offered. Mae wasn’t sure if she wanted to spend time with Emily or not and even if she did, she sure as hell didn’t want to see Dean again.
“Umm just you and me? Or would it be, you know, all of us?” Mae asked shyly. She didn’t want Emily to think she was avoiding her, but she wouldn’t go if Dean was going.
“Well Dean is taking Eddie around Antioch today so i figured it would just be you and I, but if you’re busy I can go with them. I hope you’re not busy,” Emily admitted. It did seem fun. Spending a day in the city with Emily. Last summer was the first time the two were allowed to roam the city by themselves. Before that, Dean always had to go with them or Mae’s parents went.
“I’m not busy. Pick me up around 9?” Mae asked surprisingly excited. Emily noticed the change in her voice and smiled.
“Sure. Send me your location?” She suggested.
“Of course. I’ll see you soon,” Mae said.
“Mae?” Emily said right before Mae was about to hang up.
“Yeah?” Mae asked putting the phone back up to her ear.
“I really missed you,” Emily admitted. It was true. Not seeing Mae everyday and then not hearing from her for months was really hard.
“I missed you too,” Mae said back and then hung up. She held the phone to her chest and slid down the wall. She sat on the floor for a minute and then sent her location to Emily. Mae hopped in the shower really quick hoping not to wake Snake. He hated being woken up early and would be even more upset if he knew Mae was going out with Emily without him. Mae hardly went anywhere with Snake except to her house. She threw on  a pair of black leggings, a San Francisco Giants tank top, and her faded black converse. She ran a comb through her wet hair, but will let it air dry. She always does and she never brushes it. She reapplied her eye makeup and her foundation. She never used to wear makeup unless she was going out or somewhere really nice, now she hates the way she looks without it.
At 8:58, Emily texted saying she was here. Emily was an early riser and always early for everything. Mae went into Snake’s room and left a note on his nightstand saying she would be in the city and would call him later. She walked outside, her bag was slung over her right shoulder. She ran her fingers through he already tangled hair and looked down at the ground as she stepped into the passenger seat of her white jetta. She threw her bag down  by her feet and looked at Emily.
“Thanks for picking me up,” she said to Emily who was putting the car in drive.
“No problem. I’m glad you wanted to hang out today,” she said smiling and looking out her side mirrors.
“So Dean is really taking Eddie to Antioch? Do my parents know?” Mae asked shocked. Antioch is a very ghetto part of the Bay area. They have three dollar movie, but there is an 80 percent chance you won’t live to see the end.
“Yeah Eddie convinced him, but they didn’t tell your parents. Remember last summer when they went to Antioch?” Emily asked laughing.
“Yeah and they almost got their asses kicked because Dean thought he could trash talk those gang guys,” Mae replied laughing with Emily.
“And those guys chased them for 4 straight blocks until we picked them up,” Emily added. Dean had dialed Mae 911 that they needed to be rescued and the girls had never driven so fast in their lives.
“And then the boys felt so high and mighty that they swore they could protect us everywhere we went after that,” Mae said throwing her hands in the air. She used to talk with her hands all the time, but she couldn’t remember the last time she used her hands to tell a story.
“And you got so mad because Dean kept telling Eddie to grab the guns so they could keep us safe,” Emily added getting more sentimental.
“I was a feminist back then,” Mae reminded her.
“You’re not anymore?” Emily questioned. She knew Mae had a phase where she had to make a feminist point after everything anyone said, but she didn’t realize that was over.
“No. I grew out of that when I started seeing Snake,” Mae admitted. She saw Emily’s face shift for sentimental to just plain sad.
“You changed a lot since the last time I saw you,” Emily said. Mae knew that was coming, and she knew she owed Emily and explanation, but she didn’t have one. They drove in silence except the playlist Dean made Mae played quietly in the background. Mae could listen to it without feeling sad, but couldn’t believe Emily still listened to it. “Sweet Honey” by Slightly Stoopid came on and Emily turned it up. Last summer all four of them rolled the windows down and screamed the lyrics so loud Dean almost crashed the car.
“This is a really good song. Still one of my faves,” Emily said trying to spark the conversation again.
“I don’t really listen to this type of music anymore. I’m more into hard rock and pop punk these days,” Mae said.
“Why? Because Snake is?” Emily asked her voice more stern. Mae flinched at the sound of her words.
“Sorry, that wasn’t fair,” Emily apologized halfheartedly, clearly still annoyed.
“No it’s okay,” Mae started, “if must know, I like it because it’s loud. When you play it loud you can’t hear yourself think, and if you can’t hear yourself think then you can’t be sad. Music in, world out.”
“Mae, I didn’t…” Emily started, but Mae cut her off, “it’s okay. How could you?”
The two got lunch down at Fisherman’s Wharf and then spent the rest of the day doing all the normal touristy things. Emily only came to the Bay area once a year during the summer and Mae only came to the city when Emily visited. They visited Gherardelli Square, the bean, and waltzed around Union Square taking selfies and goofy pictures of each other. Mae always ended up listening to Emily talk about the latest drama going on in her friend group. These conversations always made Mae grateful she never got wrapped up in that. Especially now that she was with Snake. They went full out tourist the entire day even though both of them have been into the city multiple times. The experience is never complete unless you ask a local for directions they thought.
At around 4, the girls headed for home. Emily continued to drive Mae’s car around while Mae rode shotgun.
“So are you coming back to the house with me?” Emily asks hopeful, like their day together somehow makes Mae want to go home.
“No. I’m sorry, it’s just I don’t really go home unless Snake has a gig,” Mae explains.
“I just thought after today that you would want to come home and hang out with all of us,” Emily admits.
“I can’t see Dean,” Mae says softly closing her eyes. Emily looks over at her confused and slightly enraged that Mae can’ get over whatever beef she has with Dean.
“Mae I know what he did, but he apologized, but can’t you get over it? Like you guys were so close. You can’t just shut him out and expect him to go away that easy,” Emily explains.
“Well I could if my supposed best friend didn’t bring him here for a surprise visit,” Mae said back slightly salty.
“I was going to tell you. I swear I was, but he’s my brother and he begged me not to. He said it had to be a surprise. Said you couldn’t be mad at him if he went through all the trouble to keep it a secret. Clearly he was wrong,” Emily said raising her voice slightly. She threw her head back against the headrest as she pulled up in front of Snake’s house.
“He was crazy if he thought he could fly out here and everything would just go away,” Mae said gripping the door handle. She wanted so badly to get out of the car and leave this conversation, but a part of her wanted to hear what she would say.
“Yeah crazy about you,” Emily said to her brother’s defense.
“Yeah well it’s a little late for that,” Mae said opening the door. She slammed it behind her and held herself as she walked to the door of Snake’s apartment.

Mae walked through the front door of her house around noon the next day. Her car was gone which meant Emily probably drove it somewhere. Mae hoped Dean went with her.
“Where have you been the past three days?” A voice asked from behind her. It was her mom.
“I don’t know Mom. Why don’t you guess,” Mae suggested in a snarky tone. Her mom’s face was furious. Mae thought for sure smoke would start blowing out of her ears any second.
“Don’t be such a smartass Mae. Where have you been?” Her mom asked again, her voice more stern.
“Snake’s. Where am I always?” Mae asks in a sarcastic voice. Her mom is staring at her like she wants more of an explanation, but Mae won’t give her one. Mae never gives her parents the details of anything she does.
“You spend too much time with that boyfriend of yours. He’s a bad influence. I don’t want you staying over there anymore,” Her mom asserts. She never liked Snake from the moment she met him. She blames him for Mae’s sudden change in appearance and attitude no matter how many times Mae says he’s not the problem.
“Marie, I’m almost 20 years old. You can’t tell me where to stay or who to date. I’m not a child,” Mae says as she turns around to walk up the stairs.
“Where are you going young lady? You may not be a kid anymore, but you still live under my roof so you have to live by my rules,” Marie insists. She has followed Mae up the first few steps, but Mae stops and turns around.
“Your rules blow. I’m getting a change of clothes for the rest of the week and then I’m going back to Snake’s,” Mae said. She turned around and walked up the rest of the stairs to her room. She slams the door behind her and falls onto her couch. She glares at the bed she hasn’t slept in in months. It looks weird seeing the sheet wrinkled and the pillow fluffed from Emily sleeping in it. Mae stopped sleeping in her bed in January. It felt too much like when she slept in it with Dean last summer. She couldn’t lay in it after that without feeling empty and alone. She took down all of her pictures from high school and her first year of college because the girl in all those pictures was way too broken and way too whole to be her. She put up posters of Snake’s favorite bands which kind of became her favorite bands now too. She wouldn’t admit it, but she still liked “Slightly Stoopid” and “AER” which were two of Dean’s favorites. The doodles were Snake’s. Snake played bass in a band, but he was also an aspiring artist. Most of his drawings were of Mae, but no one would know because he only drew profiles, not faces. Just as Mae started packing more clothes into her duffel bag Emily walked in.
“Hey you’re home,” Emily said her tone a little too excited. She sat down on the couch as Mae packed the rest of her clothes.
“Yeah, but it’s only to get some clean clothes. I’m leaving in a minute,” Mae told her. If Emily was home that meant that Dean was probably back too and Mae was not going to deal with that. Emily nealt down next to her on the floor, put her hand on her knee and whispered, “Please stay.” Mae looked at her, her eyes full of tears and closed her eyes and whispered, “I can’t. It’s too hard. I’m sorry.” Emily fell to her knees and buried her face in her hands. Mae pulled her in for a hug and ran her hand up and down her back.
“I just don’t understand. I want to understand,” Emily pleaded looking up into her eyes. Mae let out a sigh and looked up at her ceiling. She ran her fingers through her hair and sat on the end of her bed. Sitting on her mattress for the first time in months sent a chill up her spine. She had forgotten what it felt like.
“I haven’t slept in my bed in 6 months because it doesn’t feel right to sleep in it without Dean. In fact, it doesn’t feel right to sleep without Dean in general,” Mae started staring down at her feet, “I thought if I got rid of the sheets and the frame that I could turn it into a different place, but I couldn’t. The mattress is the same mattress and it still feels the same. I took down all the pictures because the girl in them is smiling way too wide to be me. I can’t remember the last time I genuinely smiled because I was happy. I put up Snake’s sketches because they look more like me than real photos do. The sketches are rough and incomplete which is exactly how I feel. I don’t know who I am or who I’m supposed to be. I stay at Snake’s almost every night because my house is full of memories of Dean and it makes me sick. Is that what you wanted to hear?” Mae looked back at Emily who met her gaze. Emily grabbed Mae’s hand and squeezed it.
“What about the changes in your appearance?” Emily asked at last.
“I spent three months missing Dean. Thinking about Dean. And just when I thought I was okay, just when I thought I was over it, everything came rushing back and I would have to start all over. Then I met Snake. He didn’t even come close to replacing Dean, but he did say something I’ll never forget. He told me if I didn’t like the person I was when I was missing Dean, that I could kill her and become someone else. So that’s what I did. I took every aspect of the girl that loved Dean, I put her in a box, and through that box in the ocean. She was gone and I said I would never bring her back. The new Mae didn’t have shiny hair, or dark skin, or natural beauty. No. She never brushes her hair, and never goes out in the sunlight, and wears eye makeup to make her eyes look brighter.” Mae was crying now. Something she hadn’t done since April. Emily was holding Mae now.
“You did all of this because of Dean?” Emily asked confused. Mae just nodded. She was crying too hard to speak.
“Why?” She asked. Now she really needed answers. She knew the falling out they had, but she didn’t realize it hurt Mae this badly. Mae looked up and wiped the tears off her face.
“I told Dean that I loved him, but he didn’t fight for me,” Mae explained finally.
“I know that. I was there, but I don’t understand how that leads to this,” Emily says more confused than ever.
“Well I don’t have time to explain it to you. I have to go. Snake’s waiting for me,” Mae says removing herself from Emily’s grip. She grabbed her duffel bag and began descending the staircase. She got halfway down when Dean saw her.
“Hey Mae, do you and Snake want to come to dinner with us?” He asked hopeful. He had been dying to spend even a little bit of time with her, but she was ignoring his texts and dodging his calls.
“Not a chance,” Mae replied in a hushed raspy tone like she was trying not to cry again. She headed straight for the door, but Dean grabbed her arm.
“Common Mae,” he pleaded. His eyes were wide now and more green than she remembered. She remembered days where she swore she could stare into them forever, but now she had to look down at the floor to avoid them. She pulled her arm out of his grasp.
“You know Dean, when someone avoids your calls it means they don’t want to talk to you so take a hint and go home,” Mae said. Her voice didn’t falter. She walked out of the house and slammed the door behind her.
“This is all your fault you know,” Emily said from the top of the staircase. Dean turned to look at her.
“I know,” he admitted with sad eyes.
“You waited too long to tell her you love her and now you’ve ruined her for everyone else,” Emily accused. Emily and Dean had always been close and had each other’s backs through everything. Emily found herself furious at Dean for ruining her best friend.
“I know Em,” Dean said at last.
“This is why brothers shouldn’t fall for their sister’s best friend,” Emily said and then stormed back into Mae’s room. Dean let out and exhale and followed her upstairs.

The next morning there is a knock on Snake’s door. Mae sits up, rubs her eyes and listens for the sound again. Sure enough there is another knock. Mae gets out of bed and walks toward the front door.
“Who is it?” she asks not sure who would be bothering them this early.
“It’s Emily,” Emily said on the other side of the door. Mae unlocked the door and let her in.
“Em, I love you, but why must things always start so early with you?” Mae asked with a slight chuckle. Emily didn’t say anything. She lifted her arm to Mae’s face. She was holding Mae’s running shoes in her hand. They look new because Mae only wore them twice before she gave up running.
“Why did you bring me these?” Mae asked.
“Because we are going on a hike. You could use some sunlight,” Emily joked. Mae rolled her eyes and took the shoes from her.
“Let me just change,” Mae said. She went into Snake’s room and pulled on some running shorts and a tank top. She laced up her running shoes and pulled her hair back into two french braids. She looked in the mirror. She looked like a runner again and felt surprisingly good about it. She washed the makeup off her face, but didn’t bother to reapply it.
“Snake,” she said loudly ensuring he would hear her.
“Hmm,” he replied still asleep.
“I’m going on a hike with Emily. I’ll be home in a few hours,” she told him
“Okay. Are you coming Lash’s tonight for our practice?” He asked. He was in a band and Mae always goes to listen to them practice.
“Of course. I’ll have Emily drop me off there,” Mae said shutting the door. She walked into the living room where Emily was sitting. Emily looked at her and her mouth fell open. Mae looked like Mae again.
“Ready?” Mae asked ignoring Emily’s obvious stare.
“Yeah let’s go,” Emily said walking out the door. The two jammed out to “Slightly Stoopid” and “AER” the whole way to the mountain they were going to hike up. They screamed the lyrics so loud and laughed non stop. Mae had forgotten what it was like to laugh until your stomach hurt. Emily parked just down the street from the hiking sight. The two walked to the base of the mountain and stretched out a little.
“Good morning ladies,” a voice said from behind them. Mae stopped dead in her tracks. The sound sent a chill up her spine. It was Dean. Mae turned to Emily, furious at her for inviting him. Emily gave her a look of apology even though she wasn’t sorry. This way her and Dean would be forced to spend time together.
“What are you doing here?” Mae asked Dean who she realized was accompanied by Eddie. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad Mae realized. Eddie could keep Dean occupied and she could chat with Emily.
“Em said that you two were going to hike so Eddie and I thought that sounded nice and decided to tag along,” Dean explained his triumphant looking, like he was so pleased with himself. Mae hated that look.
“Well Emily and I hike fast so you’ll have to keep up,” Mae said turning towards the trail. She grabbed Emily’s arm and pulled her towards the mountain. The two hiked at a more than brisk pace.
“I can’t believe you told him we were coming here and I can’t believe you let him come without telling me again,” Mae said in an almost whisper, not sure how far behind he was.
“I’m sorry. He asked what we were doing and I wasn’t going to lie. How was I supposed to know he’d show up?” Emily asked pretending to be clueless to the whole thing.
“How were you supposed to know?” Mae repeated in a mocking tone, “It’s not rocket science Em. I’ve been ignoring him the whole trip so of course he would come.”
“Well maybe you should just talk to him then,” Emily suggested trying to move things along fast.
“Hey can you two slow down?” Dean yelled from the behind them.
“No,” Mae said turning her head for only a second to reply. Then she stopped suddenly. “I can’t do this,” she started, “I can’t be here with him. I’m sorry.” She turned around and headed down towards the bottom. She speed walked past Eddie and Dean on her way. Dean turned to watch her go not sure what to do.
“Go after her!” Emily yelled from behind him. He started off in a run toward her until he reached her. He grabbed her shoulder and spun her around to him. He threw his arms out and pulled her into a hug.
“Talk to me,” he said in her ear. She buried her face in his shoulder and just shook her head.
“Please Mae. Please,” he begged holding her tighter. She pulled away from him, tears rolling down her face. He wiped them away with his thumb and placed his hand on her cheek. She put her hand on top of his and let her face fall into him.
“I told you I loved you and you didn’t fight for me,” she said at last looking down at the ground. He grabbed her hand with both of his and pressed it to his lips.
“I know Mae and I’m so sorry,” he said trying to pull her closer to him again, but she held her ground.
“No Dean you don’t get it. You can’t just hold me and tell me you’re sorry and think you can make it all go away. This wasn’t just me falling for someone who never loved me. That I could live with. This was me falling for someone who acted like they loved me and then it turns out they didn’t,” she started, “This was me thinking that six months doesn’t change anything. Thinking that the summer we spent together somehow tangled us together. I fell in love with you that summer and six months later I was stupid enough to think you still felt the same way about me. You didn’t and you couldn’t even muster up the courage to tell me that you didn’t. And the sad thing is I thought I could handle it, but every time I thought I was getting over you suddenly everything I felt for you came rushing back. It was like broken ribs, you can’t see it, but it hurts everytime you breathe. It’s like drowning except you can see everyone else around you breathing. It’s like you can’t even lay in bed at night, or take a shower, or pour a damn glass of water without thinking about it. It makes your cheeks sting with tears and your whole body ache. I don’t know when you changed your mind about me but it hurts because I still love you and I can’t imagine a day that I won’t. Can’t you see that you rip my heart open every time you look at me, every time you speak to me? You were the first thing I thought of when I woke up and the last thing before I went to bed. You were in my dreams dammit. So three months ago I erased you. I didn’t ever want to remember what it was like to stare into your eyes, or kiss your lips, or the way our bodies rolled together. I didn’t want to remember all your sweet nothings or the times we smiled so wide it was like we didn’t know the pit in our stomach’s when you realize someone doesn’t love you. You don’t get to come back. Not when I did everything I could to forget you.” She stopped at last and waited for him to say something. She stared into his eyes trying to beg him to kiss her and tell her he loved her.
“Okay,” he said at last because he wasn’t sure what else he could say. She seemed like she had made her mind up about things, but she hadn’t. It has always been Dean and she knew she would give into him if he asked.
“That’s it? After all of that you can’t even say anything else?” Mae asked furious she went through all of that and Dean didn’t get it.
“I don’t know what else I can say. Obviously you made your mind up about the whole thing,” he argued trying to justify himself.
“Damn Dean. I can’t believe you still don’t get it,” she said and turned towards the bottom. She started with a walk and then began to run. She remember, just for a moment, why she loved running so much. It makes everything fade away. It clears your mind even when it’s a jumbled mess. She got to the bottom and called Snake for a ride. He arrived about 15 minutes later and she got in the front seat of the car. He looked her dead in the face and knew something was wrong.
“Talk to me,” he begged on the car ride home.
“I can’t,” she said.
“Why?” he asked confused.
“Because you like me because I don’t do the stupid girl things like get worked up or overreact,” she explained to him.
“That doesn’t mean you can’t do the normal human things like get hurt or cry,” he explained pulling up in front of his apartment. Mae began to cry and Snake climb over the center counsel to hold her in his lap. She put her arms around his neck and cried into his shoulder.
“I think we should break up,” Snake said at last. Mae’s head shot up and she looked at him in disbelief.
“What? You just said it was normal to be hurt and cry,” Mae reminded him.
“I’m not breaking up with you because you cried. I’m breaking up with you because you still love Dean,” he explained to her.
“No I don’t,” She protested. She furrowed her eyebrows and stared at him.
“Did I ever tell you the first thing I noticed about you?” he asked her. She shook her head. Snake never talked about stuff like this. He always seemed to tough for it.
“Well it was the light in your eyes,” he started, “your eyes are always a little greener when they’re wet. They had this little light of hope inside of them, but somewhere along the way that light got lost and disappeared. I saw that light again 4 days ago when you saw Dean. It wasn’t until now that I realized he was the one who put it there. The second you decided to remove him from your life that light died, but after you saw him again it all of a sudden reappeared. I don’t want that light to ever go out ever again.”
“He doesn’t love me Snake. You do,” She told him.
“That’s bullshit. He loves you and you know it. You’re just scared,” he explained to her. It suddenly hit him that he actually knew Mae more than he thought.
“What am I scared of?” She asked him in a whisper.
“You’re scared you’ll hurt me, but you’re more scared he’ll hurt you again,” he said brushing the hair out of her face. She nodded.
“Remember when we started dating and I told you I didn’t want to hurt you?” Snake asked.
“Yeah and I told you not to worry because I would be the one to hurt you,” Mae said finishing his sentence.
“I didn’t believe that could be true until now,” Snake admitted, “You can sleep here tonight, but tomorrow you should go home,” he told her.
“Snake,” she started, but he cut her off.
“It’s okay Mae,” he assured her, “he’s youre true love.”

Mae walked into her house around 8 the next morning. She carefully avoided waking up Dean and Eddie, but knew Emily would be in the kitchen drinking her morning coffee.
“Hey,” Mae said when she entered the kitchen.
“Hey,” Emily said back surprised to see her.
“Is my mom here?” Mae asked, “I really need to talk to her.”
“Umm she might be,” Emily started, “Your dad went golfing this morning, but I think your mom is still here.”
“Thanks,” Mae said as she started walking towards her mom’s room. She took a deep breath and opened the door. Marie was laying in her bed on her phone checking facebook.
“Mommy,” Mae said in a soft voice. Marie looked up surprised to see her daughter home so early. She was so used to Mae never coming home and if she did she almost never saw her.
“Yes?” she asked shocked at the expression on her daughter’s face.
“I’m so sorry,” she said. She went and climbed in bed with her mom and began to cry in her arms. Marie held her daughter and stroked the back of her head.
“Shh honey don’t cry,” she said trying to calm her down, “Tell me what’s wrong.”
“Snake and I broke up,” she explained.
“Aww darling I’m so sorry,” She said trying to be sympathetic even though she couldn’t be happier.
“That’s not even why I’m sad,” Mae admitted. Marie looked at her confused.
“Then why are you sad?” Marie asked. Mae began to cry even harder. The thought of having to say it out loud again made her hands shake and her stomach drop.
“I’m in love with Dean,” she said at last.
“Well that’s okay,” Marie said relieved her daughter actually liked nice boys.
“No it’s not because I told him twice that I loved him and he didn’t fight for me. He didn’t even have the guts to tell me he didn’t feel the same way. He just left me hanging and it hurts so bad because I thought he loved me too. He acted like he loved me,” Mae explained in an almost yell. Marie kissed her forehead and pulled her into her arms again.
“Well honey, why don’t you try asking him how he feels instead of telling him how you feel. That way at least you get a definite answer,” Marie suggested.
“What if he breaks my heart?” Mae asked scared.
“I’ll be here for you,” she said in reply. She squeezed her really tight.
“I’m really sorry for being such a pain in the ass these past few months mom. I love you,” Mae apologized.
“You had a broken heart sweetie. Love makes us do crazy things sometimes. I love you too. Now go see Dean before he leaves,” She encouraged. Mae left her room and closed the door behind her. She slowly made her way up the stairs. Her heart pounding louder with every step. She stood in front of his door for a second and hesitated to put her hand on the knob. She took a deep breath and went inside. Dean was kneeling on the floor packing his suitcase for his flight home. He looked up expecting to see Emily and nearly stopped breathing when he saw Mae.
“Hey I, uh, didn’t expect to see you again,” Dean admitted nervously.
“You didn’t think I’d let you leave without saying goodbye, did you?” Mae asked as a small smile spread across her face. Dean shrugged his shoulders not sure what to say.
“Look Dean, I think I made it pretty obvious how I feel about you so I think the only thing is to ask you how you feel about me,” Mae said straight out. Dean didn’t say anything. Instead he walked over to her placed his hands on her face and crashed his lips into hers. He pulled away seconds later, looked her in the eyes, and said, “ Mae you are the most beautiful girl in my world, always have been, always will be. You are so kind, and caring and considerate. You are compassionate and driven. You put others before yourself way more than you should. You think other people’s happiness is more important than your own. You have the most infectious laugh, and your eyes. Oh your eyes. They’re breathtakingly beautiful. Sometimes they’re a soft hazel color and other times they’re green. The kind of green that stares into your soul. Being around you makes my heart race and sets me on fire. You make me want to be a better version of myself because I don’t deserve you, but damn I wish I did. And I’m sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I loved you the times you said it to me. I’m sorry I made you doubt the connection and attraction between us. Most of all, I’m sorry I was the one who made you feel like you had to become a different person because you are extraordinary just the way you are. I love you so much Mae.” Mae had been crying the whole time. He pulled her into his arms. He kissed her forehead and she threw her arms around his neck. She looked up at him and kissed him again. She had never felt more at home than she did right now in his arms.
“So what now?” She asked after calming herself down.
“We can’t be together,” Dean admitted. Mae look at him both shocked and hurt.
“What? But you just said,” Mae tried to say, but he cut her off.
“I Know what I said, but it doesn’t change the fact that we don’t live by each other,” He pointed out. Mae knew he was right. The long distance would kill her and they only saw each other a few times throughout the year.
“So that’s it then?” Mae asked scared. She didn’t want that to be it. She wanted more. More time with him. More of him.
“How about someday?” Dean suggested. Mae shot him a confused look.
“Someday?” She repeated in a slightly mocking tone.
“Yeah, someday. Like someday we’ll be together because this is too right not to give it a try. We can’t be together right now, but we will be someday. You’re just finishing your first year of college and I don’t want to worry about what you’re doing down here and I don’t want you to have to worry about me up there. We’ll be together Mae. Someday. I promise,” he said. Mae smiled and nodded her head. It sounded pretty good to her. It obviously wasn’t ideal because she wanted to be with him right now, but someday was better than never. This way she had something to look forward to. Something to work for.
Dean finished packing his suitcase and loaded it into Mae’s car along with Emilys. The four drove to the airport to the sound of “Slightly Stoopid” and “AER.” They all knew every word and were laughing so hard they forgot to be sad. Mae put the car in park when she pulled up in front of the airport in Oakland. All four of them got out of the car and exchanged goodbyes. Emily and Mae hugged for a really long time. Exchanging “I love yous” and I’ll miss yous” and “Good luck this semesters” in each other’s ears. They were both crying wishing they could make up for the time they lost this summer. Mae felt awful for not spending more time with Emily and promised to make it up to her when she made it out to Portland. Dean and Eddie did a bro handshake silently meaning they would miss each other. Mae turned to Dean and put her arms around his neck. They held each other tightly and for a long time. Dean kissed her head and Mae turned to look up at him. He put his hands on her face and crashed his lips into hers again.
“I love you Mae,” He said at last.
“I love you too Dean,” she said back to him.
“Someday?” he asked her.
“Someday,” she agreed as she watched him walk into the airport. She didn’t feel sad, but hopeful that she would see him soon. Someday can’t come soon enough, she thought.