I head into my first period. I have at least one friend to help me through every period. This period is Physical Education or as I like to call it a place where all the guys make me uncomfortable. Everyone would think it’s like Heaven for me, but it’s the complete opposite. I hate it. Another thing I hate are jocks. I don’t understand, nor do I respect jocks. Some of them think they’re all that because they have abs, or because they are MVP. Newsflash, some people don’t live off of sports. However, there are some guys who are nice, smart, and don’t make me wanna kill someone. I like people like that. I like it when someone talks and they don’t make me wanna be a wanted criminal. I go to my locker, enter my combination, put my phone in there, and go sit on a bench in the locker room. As I wait for the teachers to order the guys into the gymnasium, someone threw a shirt at me and it landed right on my head. A small male ran up and grabbed the shirt off my head. Ah, bullying. A topic that many students have experience with. The teacher blows their whistle and all the guys start to go in the gym. The thing about gym is, all the guys can say all the curse words in the world, but it’s not their fault if you swing at them. It’s all on you. I hear my parents say “Just ignore them.” That’s kinda hard to do when they are everywhere and they are saying everything. In the Gym, the teachers go around passing flyers out. I look over at the girls to my left, and I see most of my friends. It sucks that most of my friends are female, because I never have someone to talk to during P.E. Some of my friends catch my glance and they wave to me, so I wave back. I get why the teachers don’t want the genders mixing, because, you know, guys like girls and girls like guys, most of the time. At my school, there are two P.E. teachers for the males and two for the females. I just want to know why the P.E. classes can’t just socialize every now and then. The teachers tell us that if you didn’t dress out, go to the stands. I love that rule. If you don’t like sports, go talk to your friends, or be bored. Sometimes when my friends aren’t here, I go to the bleachers and take a nap. I go over to the corner with all my friends. I sit in between Samantha and Jewel. Jewel is a black haired girl that’s small, but awesome. Samantha was the first to talk when she said “Are you going to the party tonight?” And I replied with “I don’t know, it depends if I have a lot of homework.” I would tell her the truth, but I don’t like the places she goes to. So I lie and add some hyperbole to the description of my homework. It was fun thinking of things too. One time I said “I have so much homework that I can barely reach a phone line.” Then I would crumple up some paper and hit the End Call button. Samantha snapped her fingers in my face and I zoned back into reality. “Hey, Gary, I asked you what Disney princess I would be. Tell me, am I more of a Rapunzel or a Sleeping Beauty?” I chuckled as I said “I think you’re more of an Else.” Her eyes lit up and she said “Is it because I’m magical?” I said “No, it’s because you’re coldhearted.” Jewel started laughing with me while Samantha glared me down. She stood up and slapped my shoulder and walked off. The bell rang and I head into my other periods, which were toxic boredom. Nothing happened, and right now, all I wanna do is go home. I get on the bus and put my headphones on. I press shuffle on my phone and “Kathleen” starts playing. I sit down and I quickly anticipate what will happen. I love waiting for Tyler. If I’m lucky, I might even get to see him smile. He’s a light-hearted person, so smiling isn’t something that’s rare for him, it’s just that I love seeing him happy. “Where Did You Go?” starts playing as I wait impatiently for him to arrive. When he does arrive, he locks his stare with mine as a grimace forms upon his lips. I can see it in just his eyes, he was having a bad day, or a bad thought. Why is he upset? Why would he be upset? Did he get a bad grade on a test? Did one of his many girlfriends break up with him? Did he win a trip to Disney World, but wanted to go to Universal Studios? Something, anything would be helpful. He turns his head away from me as I see tears start to form in his eyes. When Tyler is hurt, I feel it ten times worse. I don’t feel like doing anything now. Tyler stares at me with pain in his eyes as I get off the bus. I quickly run home, close the door, and run to the bathroom. I pull my phone out and scroll all the way up my list of songs until I play “Diablo”. I think about pulling out my pocket knife, but this hurts more. I don’t need pain, I have enough of it now. I need to find a way to get this out of me. I look around and narrow in on everything. I focus in on a few items. A knife, some rope, a bottle of Melatonin, and a gun. I grab the Melatonin, it shouldn’t take too long for it to kick in. I grab the bottle and read the back, “Take one tablet just before bedtime.” I pop the cap and pour all the tablets out on the counter. I count twenty and grab a glass and fill it with water. My phone starts playing “Last Resort”. I pull out my phone as I hear another song interfering with Papa Roach. I light up my screen and see a text from an unknown number. I go to my texts and read the newest one. “Gary, are you okay? I have this feeling like you’re gonna die any minute now. You have a life to live Gary. You have to live it to the fullest so you can leave a legacy. If you need help, call 1 (800) 273-8255. They will help you. Don’t die on us. Everyone needs you. You may not know it, but everyone is watching you, respecting you, hoping that you’ll do the best you can do. The only person that can do that is You. We care about you, don’t die on us.” My eyes fill with tears as I start to think about everyone that will miss me if I die. My parents, my friends, but most importantly, Tyler. He might not miss me, but i’ll miss him. I can’t live without him. If I die, he will just keep dating other girls that mean nothing to him. I need to stay alive, for Tyler. I take the tablets and put them one-by-one back into the bottle slowly as I listen to the song “Girl on Fire”. I take a few shaky breaths in and out as I grab the glass of water and take a long sip. Coming close to killing yourself can cause major dehydration. I reread the text and start to feel better. I just want to know one thing, who sent the text?
I open my eyes. My phone is still playing music, my door is closed, and I think it’s nighttime. I must have passed out. I open my door and get a glass of water. I can do many things, but sleep while dehydrated, that I cannot. I guzzle the water down like anyone who had to walk through a desert. I whip out my phone and check the time. 1:35 AM. Perfect. At least I don’t have to go to school tomorrow. That’s a plus. But why was Tyler sad? I crawl into bed and watch YouTube videos until I pass out.
The weekend was boring. I didn’t go out and do anything, I got bombarded by texts from Samantha, and all I wanna do is sleep, eat candy, or see Tyler in a good mood. It’s Monday and I step onto the bus. When I get on I see Tyler drowning the bus with his tears. Gimme my knife now. I feel this abyss in the pit of my stomach. I slowly make my way to my seat, keeping eye contact with Tyler 24/7. It’s more like i’m watching him though because, he doesn’t even know I got on the bus. A little while goes by and the bus makes a rough stop, causing everyone to slingshot forward a few seats. I (somehow) manage to land in the seat next to Tyler. Tyler stays focused on his puddle of tears and I decide to do something. I have to do something to get his attention. So, I poke him. He sniffles and looks up at me. His eyes widened and he gets filled with joy. He was so filled with joy, that he took his arms and wrapped them around me. In that moment, time slowed down. The tightness of his hold on me was breathtaking. More than eighty shivers went up and down my spine. My face slowly gets hot, but I don’t try to hide it. My face is on his shoulder and his, mine. As we exchange body heat, all feels right with the world. That’s when he said in a raspy voice “Are you okay? I’m so glad that you’re alive. I thought you died.” I ponder the thought for a few moments and reply with “Why would you think I’d be dead?” He moves his head off my shoulder and stares me in the eyes and says “I thought you’d left me.” Hold on, did he say what I think he just said? Is this real life? He doesn’t even know my name, but he was crying cats and dogs because he thought i’d leave him? Did I go to Heaven yet? I start to feel like i’m falling backwards while keeping my stare locked with Tyler. I would have kept it until we reached the school, but that was before I fell on my butt off the seat thanks to some jocks. One of them said “Sorry, but you’re not good enough for him. However, I did see a trashcan around the block, that’s a perfect match for you.” Tyler stood up and said “Leave him alone!” Okay now I’ve gone to Heaven. He continued talking. “We aren’t dating and I think the best person for him would be Reese Witherspoon.” The jocks smirked and one of them said “Wow, Gary and Reese. I never knew he was gay.” I tilted my head towards the ground as tears formed in my eyes. Tyler said “Reese Witherspoon is one of the smartest female celebrities out there. She’s not a he.” The same guy said “I’d pay to see Gary with a female. I would give up my shoes to see Gary date a girl that’s not thinking about turning into a male.” That’s it! I stand up on my feet, pull a fist back and punch one of the jocks. It doesn’t matter which one, as long as they get the message. I bust the nose of one of them and they start to shoot punches at me. I avoid most of them, but I retaliate with a punch to the gut for all three. They slowly fall to the ground cursing me out while I slowly turn around to see Tyler’s reaction. He looked amazed. Tyler looked at me and said “That was amazing. I wanted to stand up for you, but I don’t wanna get detention.” I chuckle slightly.  “So, Gary’s you’re name. I’m glad to see you Gary.” I stare at him. I have no idea what to say now. I was gonna have a punch line set up, but we’re already at the departure. I cry out randomly “Can I have your phone number Tyler?” He looks at me, almost dumbstruck and says “Sure.” We pull out and give each other our phones. When he gave mine back I noticed that a text was deleted. It was the text that stopped me from killing myself. Why would something random like that just go away on its own? The bus pulls to a stop as I walk off and go to my classes. I can’t even remember what happened because I was so thrilled with Tyler’s number. I get on the bus to go home and I stare out the window. Today has been magical. Everything was awesome. In fact, I feel like doing my homework. I started to get worried when I didn’t see Tyler on the bus. I’m sure it’s nothing though. I pull out my phone and text Tyler. “Hey are you okay? You weren’t on the bus today. Just wondering.” As I go home I do my homework. The entire time keeping my phone next to me. Waiting for a text from Tyler. I pass out, waiting for his text.
At 3:45 AM, I get a text from Tyler. I burst awake from a dead sleep and I read the text. Automatically, my heart fills with pain. “Gary, if you are reading this text, then you know I’m in trouble. I need help. I’ve texted everyone else, but I got nothing from them. I’m at a bowling alley. I’m in the bathroom. I need help. Please hurry.” I get out of bed, race to the front door, grab the keys to the car, and make my way towards the bowling alley. I don’t have a permit, nor a driver’s license, but this is important. When I get there, I slowly make my way into the bathroom. There are no lights on and I can’t see anything. I slowly walk in the middle of the room and begin to hear someone moving. Before I could turn around, someone flicked on the lights, another grabbed me by the neck and pushed me into the toilet. Just so you know, it had feces in it. The dude who was man-handling me flushed the toilet and pulled me out of the stall. Everyone had their phones out taking pictures. Pictures of me crying, wanting to die. Not just guys we’re there either. Almost the whole school was there. The only one who wasn’t were my friends, and Tyler.

Once I got in my car, I just froze. I was humiliated by almost the whole school. Now, I’m sure I’m viral. I put my head on the steering wheel and start letting the tears flow past my cheeks. After sobbing for a bit or so, I head back home. When I get there, the lights aren’t turned on. My parents have no idea that I left. They have no idea about the Hell I went through. I need my mom’s comforting words. Before I could think of anything smarter, I honk the car’s horn and watch as my house springs to life. My mom and my dad walk out and start barking at me. I wish my parents stopped me before I went. I’d rather have my parents stop me from doing something stupid, than doing said stupid thing and getting embarrassed on the internet. Long story short I got grounded from the car, but they didn’t want to know why I was using the car in the first place. Maybe because when I last used the car, it was to go watch some ducks in the park at 12:00 AM. When my dad heard that, he took his hand and forced it toward his skull. Everyone in my family does that a lot. It’s called a facepalm. I don’t care if it’s not in the dictionary, it’s a real term. I don’t want to go to school tomorrow. I don’t want to hear everyone talking about me getting dunked in the toilet. Because when you’re in High School, you don’t want to be popular with embarrassment. Why couldn’t Tyler have been there? He would have at least tried to stand up for me. Wait! I got the text from Tyler. And no one else has my number but my friends and my parents. Did he set this up? Oh, hell no. As I plot my revenge and some witty come backs, I conk out.
I slowly wake up and get out of bed. As I head into the Bathroom, I get a text. I rub the tiredness out of my eyes, before turning my phone on and reading the text. “Hey Gary. How was your shower with extra toilet water? It was so hilarious. Wish I was there to see it. At least I caught a picture before you ran out. What will the school say?” Once I finished reading the text I was gonna throw my phone at the wall, before I did a double take. He said “Wish I was there.” Implying he wasn’t there, but then he said “At least I caught a picture before you ran out.” So that means he was there, but he wasn’t there at all. I scanned the room twice and I didn’t see him at all. Not even in the back. Now I know something is up. Soon I make it on the bus and wait for Tyler. In the meantime, I gained a bunch of new nicknames. Sorry to use foul language, but I have to quote them. I got names like Shithead, Coprophagia, and others. When Tyler arrives it’s like someone gave me a life-preserver right before I drowned. He sits next to me and says “What’s up?” I hug him. I need a hug after all the shit I went through (literally). He starts blushing and says “Something I need to know about or are you just hugging me for the heck of it?” I couldn’t find the words to say anything. I pulled out my phone and show him the texts I got from him. After a few seconds he looks like someone got him a pet duck and choked it 5 seconds later. He looks at me and starts hugging me. Finally, someone feels bad for me. Took the world long enough. I hug him back, enjoying the shock we shared. It’s almost like we’re the same person. Once the school bus started filling up, so did my hate for the world. Not 1, Not 2, but all the kids had they’re phones out, playing the video or showing each other pictures. Worse day ever. Tyler held my head in his arms. He was trying to protect me from something he didn’t even do. He is just so awesome. He moves his arm for a bit or two and returns it back to block my eyesight. We just stay like that for a few minutes and it’s like I’ve been warped to a place that has no one there, nothing I hate, nothing at all. After all, with nothing at all, nothing can hurt you. When the bus stops everyone else gets off first, then Tyler and I get off. The only part of the day that was different than the bus fiasco was in P.E. where I got to see my girls. The first thing that happened was they ran up to me and asked “Are you alright?” That’s right, no one asked if I was fine. No one at all. They just laughed and continued they’re daily life. After I told them what happened, Taylor asked “Who’s Tyler?” Before I could think of how to tell her, the bell rang. Thanks gosh. She ran up to me and said “Your gonna tell me.” The school day was filled with embarrassment. Once I made it home and opened my email, I get bombarded with video links to-take a wild guess-a video of me at the bowling alley with the toilet flushers. Great, is there anyone who doesn’t know about this? I mean seriously? I’m more viral than Caitlyn Jenner. Why did I ever go to the bowling alley? Why did I ever think that Tyler would text me at 2 in the morning? I was stupid, idiotic, blunt, and dumb, I was doing instead of thinking. I just wonder, why? Who? Who would do that to me? I mean, I know that no one knows who I am, but who would want to target me? A jock? I don’t know. I haven’t made any enemies that I don’t know about already. Whatever. I don’t care about it. They embarrassed me, but I could have done that by myself. I mean, just look at me. I’m at the bottom of the popularity chain. Oh well. Today at school sucked, it’s starting to make my head hurt. I think I’ll go to sleep.
. . .
My phone rumbled and the screen came to live, blinding me out of a deep sleep. I slowly and slowly maneuver my hand over to my phone and bring it to my face. It’s from Tyler. Great, another scam. I read the text, it says “Gary, I need you. I was walking down the street when these big thugs took and pulled me into a dark alley. They beat me and said if they ever saw me again, I was gonna die. I’m so scared Gary. Please meet me at the bus stop at school. I have a black eye and I need your hugs to make me feel better.” Oh, right, like I’m supposed to believe that? What a joke. I fell back asleep and morning came quick.
. . .
I got on the bus. I sat down in our normal seat waiting for Tyler. Just wait ‘till he sees this fake text. When we stopped at Tyler’s block, he boarded the bus with a black eye, dirty cloths, and a face that shows he’s seen stuff that would give a grandma a heart attack just hearing. He sat next to me. The moment he saw me, a look of anger mixed with a dash of hate consumed him. What was the first thing he said? Nothing. He didn’t say anything. So I have to break the ice. “Tyler, are you okay?” He looked at me and said “I texted you and you didn’t come, you didn’t respond. Y-you didn’t care. You didn’t care about me.” “Oh, no! That’s not it at all. I love you. When I got that text from you, I thought it was another prank. I’m so sorry I didn’t trust you.” “Well I am too!” Said Tyler. I am a jerk. I feel so bad. Seeing someone you love, get hurt, and you didn’t try to make them feel better, hurts worse than any other poison in the world. How could I be so selfish? “I am so sorry.” I told Tyler. I turned away from him, pulled out my knife, and kept replaying those thoughts over and over again. After a few painful stokes, I winced in pain. Tyler turned his dead and asked “What are you doing?” I didn’t reply. I didn’t deserve to. How could I when I didn’t try to help him when he was in pain? After a few moments of no response, he grabbed my shoulder and turned me around so that he could see my face and what I was doing. “Why are you doing that here?” He asked. “I feel terrible.” I said as I lowered my head. I can’t even look at his face without feeling pain. “Gary, I-I need to tell you something.” Said Tyler. All of a sudden, my heart stopped beating. My eyes met his in an instance. Could this be what I think it is? He sighed and looked at me again. “Look,” He said “I… I…” Every time he tried to talk he just trailed off. He coughed and looked at me with courage this time and said “I like you!” For once, we arms didn’t hurt. My feeling were filled with hope and joy. For once, I am loved. “I like you too.” I told him. He smiled at me. Before I could think of anything, I did what I’ve wanted to do for a while now. I forced my lips upon his and closed my eyes. I felt like the world stopped. It might have. When we kissed, it felt like forever. When we broke apart I had 5 seconds. 5 seconds to realize that I just kissed my crush. 5 seconds to realize that everyone was watching. 5 seconds to realize that I loved it. But sadly, 5 seconds to realize that he had his eyes open.

Nothing. Not a response from Tyler. He just looked at me, keeping his blank expression. Why? Did I do it wrong? “Tyler? I asked. “Tyler? Is everything okay?” He looked out the window and then back at me and said “Yes. I am just happy that we have the same feelings.” I felt something, something that I don’t ever really feel. I felt touched. I was touched by his words. I wrapped my arms around him tightly and he wrapped his arms around me. We stayed like that until the bus came at a halt, and we had to go to our separate classes.
…
It was a little after 6 o’ clock. School had gotten out a few hours ago. I always just sat behind the school and looked at the starts until 9, then I went home. I want to show this to someone that I care about, because I think they will like it. Gary is special to me. I never realized that an empty feeling wasn’t love. I never experienced real love, or real feelings until I met Gary. I like him, a lot. “Hey Tyler.” I heard Jim say to me. “News is that you are dating a new person. I want to know if it’s true.” I sighed and said it was true. He went on. “Way to go. You’re scoring more babes than there are bottles of AXE.” “Anything new going on?” I asked, trying to take the subject out of a bad direction. He smirked and said “Yeah. There is this kid that goes to school here that everyone hates.” My eyelids opened like blinds. Please don’t tell me it’s Gary. “Anyway, the guys and I were thinking about teaching him a lesson.” Oh no. Please don’t. “What is his name?” I asked, hopping it wasn’t his name. “I think its Gary, but don’t quote me on it.” I better see what they are planning on doing to him so I can make him prepared. “What are you gonna do to him?” He looked at me and said “No, you mean what we are gonna do to him.” Great, I have to do some terrible thing to my best friend. Wait, that’s not the right word, um, boyfriend? No, can’t say that either because we aren’t dating. Fine, soon to be boyfriend. Why does my life get worse and worse?
…
I woke up, thanks to a bright text from Tyler. I slowly read it, it said Hey, it’s Tyler. Listen, the guys are gonna do something bad to you. I hope you can handle it. They are gonna find you, strip you of your clothing and send you out naked. Just don’t go to school tomorrow. P.S. Will you go out with me? I quickly type “Yes.” I just went to bed, glad to know that he meant what he said.