Hey there. I write my comments live, just so you know, so you can better feel my exact emotions as I'm reading. So off we go! WOW. Way to hit me with adjectives! You're awesome at describing stuff. I would like this kind of stuff to narrate my life. XD Anyway, I feel like a character shouldn't describe their own body if they can't see it. For example, in first person, saying "my curved figure" seems odd to me. I can understand the hair part because you can see it, but describing your own body in that fashion seems a bit like... Like the person is viewing them self. So it's not really first person at that point. If this doesn't make sense, just reply and I'll elaborate. Wow, super interesting theme. I'll keep reading. I haven't ever read anything from this POV before; it's quite refreshing. Ah, creepy but awesome. (Her changing into devil form) "Coffee-colored man." Excellent. Creeeeepy. Did she take God?? The last sentence was chilling. I feel like, though, "shortly" is too abrupt of a word. Use a creepier one. --- I've never read the story of Lucifer before, and I suppose it would've helped if I did, but this was really interesting to me. However, I feel like some things you don't go into enough specificity about; some weren't well enough explained so sometimes I found myself lost in your words - in a bad way. This was probably meant for an audience who had heard this story before, but nonetheless, it should be clear to any reader.