6 months later

“Autumn you’re going to be late for your first day of school!”
“Ok mom, just a second!”
Autumn smoothes out her long hair and carefully drapes it over the back of her neck. She races out the door, almost forgetting her bag, as the school bus comes up her long, winding street. As the doors swing open, her heart beats ten times faster and her hands begin to shake. Her feet wobble in her black combat boots as she steps onto the bus. She looks back to see only one open seat, it’s torn up and has holes up and down the sides. She walks towards it and feels an overwhelming rush of whispers and glances her way. Her cheeks flush a fiery red as she sits down and immediately looks out the window.
“Who’s that new girl?” she hears, along with insults about her looking stuck up.
The bus stops at Kayan High School and all the students get off. Each of the kids run over to their friends. They laugh and smile and catch up on one another’s summer.
Except for Autumn. She steps off the bus and peers around her new school. The tall towering elm trees surround Kayan with leaves decorating the tall green grass. The sun shines so brightly in the almost perfectly clear blue sky. Autumn looks towards the front entrance with her piercing green eyes and walks in. Unsure of where to turn, who to talk to, or how to act, she takes out her schedule to look for her first class. U.S. History room 303.

“Ugh.” she moans as she scans the hallways for her class. Looking down at the tan tiles, she mutters to herself, “How the hell am I going to find this room.” Autumn looks down at her schedule and then back up as she passes every classroom door. So intent on finding the right classroom, Autumn bangs into a locker. Her navy blue Northface bag falls to the ground and she can already feel the bruise forming on her head. She immediately drops down to the ground to pick up her books, but there’s someone helping her. His strong hands pick up her schedule and loose papers.
“That was a pretty hard hit you took there,” says the stranger.
“I’m sorry, was that your locker? I, I was just trying to find my first class,” replies Autumn.
“It’s ok I was just about to close it anyways.”
Autumn laughs at his joke and smiles, “I’m Autumn.”
He smiles back, his teeth so white against his tan skin, “I’m Nate,” he replies. “So it seems like you’re new here. Do you want me to help you find your class?”
Autumn sighs with relief, “That would be perfect, thank you.”
Nate looks at her schedule to find out which class she has, “Ms. Hawthorne for U.S. history, ugh, good luck.”
As Nate walks Autumn to room 303 he asks, “So where are you from?”

“I’m from New York,” replies Autumn.

Nate’s mouth drops, “That’s awesome! Everyone here is just from here. It’s all the same. Why would you ever leave New York?”

Autumn’s mind flashes back to that day. To the memories she never wants to remember. She feels the aching in her body and her hand immediately covers the back of her neck as she replies to Nate. “Oh, um my Mom decided to leave and I came with her, but I was happy to go.”

Before Nate can even think of a response, they are at the classroom. “Hopefully I’ll see you again,” he smiles.
Autumn waves goodbye and sits down in her assigned seat. She is expecting some ice-breaker activity that new teachers always do on the first day of school, but nope. Ms. Hawthorne starts teaching about the American Colonies right away.

There are notes on the board for everyone to copy, but Autumn’s mind is somewhere else. She is thinking about the bus this morning and how isolated and alone she felt, until she met Nate. Even though the day just began, he was the only one to even acknowledge her existence.

The bell rings after what feels like five minutes. Autumn finds her next three classes very easily, but now it is time for her favorite class, Trigonometry. She double-checks the classroom door to make sure it is the right one. “Yup room 202,” she thinks to herself.
There is a seating chart on the projector and she finds her name right away, Autumn Clark third row dead center. She sees another familiar name as well. Next to her is Nate Rahl. “Is that the Nate I just met?” she thinks to herself. Autumn waits in her seat for the bell to ring. She sees a boy with tan skin, dirty-blonde hair, and crystal-blue eyes step through the classroom door. It is Nate. Autumn smiles, but then she sees him turn around to kiss some girl with long blonde hair. The smile immediately wipes off her face. A surge of questions flood through her mind, “Is that his girlfriend? I thought he might have liked me. Why would I think that? He was just being friendly, right? Ugh. Why should I even start to have feelings for someone? It’s the first day of school.”
Autumn shakes off the feeling of disappointment, telling herself it is useless to feel that way. She doesn’t let Nate see the look on her face, she smiles with a closed-mouth as Nate turns back around.
“Hey!” exclaims Nate. “I didn’t know I had Trig with you.” He sits down next to Autumn, placing his books on his desk. “How’s your day going so far?”
“Not bad,” replies Autumn. “Just happy its almost over.”
Nate laughs, “I know the feeling.”

Autumn listens to the lesson and participates, answering every question right. Nate looks at her with his eyebrows raised and shaking his head, “How do you know all of this?”

Autumn shrugs her shoulders and accidentally knocks her pen off her desk. Both Autumn and Nate bend down to get it. Autumn’s long curled hair brushes off her shoulders, revealing the nape of her neck. Autumn reaches for the pen first, but Nate’s eyes widen.
Autumn’s hands grasp her pen, but when she looks up she looks into Nate’s eyes. He is staring down at her with his face pale and mouth open. He looks away as soon as they lock eyes and slouches back in his seat.

Autumn immediately springs up and sits straight in her chair, smoothing her hair into her desired position. She wonders if he saw the scars on the back of her neck. “Probably not,” she thinks to herself, but she can’t shake the feeling that he saw.
The bell rings and that is Autumn’s cue to leave before Nate starts asking any questions. She packs up her books and darts out to the door.
“Wait!” says Nate.
Autumn replies, “Sorry, have to go!” on her way out the door.

The whole day couldn’t go by any slower. The next three classes of the day drag on. Autumn can’t stop thinking about if Nate saw her scars. “Only four people have seen it: my mom, my aunt, the people at the emergency room who saved my life, and the person who gave it to me.” Now she might have to add a fifth person to that list.
After eighth period the day is over and Autumn couldn’t be happier to leave. She wants to just go back to her Aunt’s house, lay in her perfectly-made bed and forget about this day. Autumn walks toward her bus, but remembers the laughs and stares from this morning. She can’t bear the thought of being around those people, so she decides just to walk home.
It is a three mile walk to her Aunt’s house from the school, but she doesn’t mind. Autumn puts in her headphones and listens to nothing, no music, nothing. She just doesn’t want to be bothered. She begins following the crooked sidewalk, but a black Range Rover pulls over to the side of the road. Autumn looks up to see Nate in the driver’s seat.
“You need a ride?” Nate asks.
“I’m fine, really,” replied Autumn.
“C’mon I’m headed the way you’re walking.”
Autumn reluctantly steps into the car and sits in the passenger seat. “Two Barcroft Lane,” she says. Autumn offers directions, but Nate knows where he’s going.
“So how come you aren’t on the bus?” asks Nate. He sees Autumn sink in her seat and immediately changes the topic. “You’re a genius in Trig,” he says. “I can already tell I’ll need some tutoring.”
Autumn laughs and says, “You drive me home from school everyday and I’ll tutor you. Deal?”
Nate takes one hand off the wheel and shakes her hand. “Deal.” He pulls up in front of her Aunt’s house and Autumn reaches for the door.
“Wait,” he says, “I have to ask you something.”
Autumn turns around facing him with her hand still on the door. Her heart pounds and she hears it echo throughout her whole body. Her hands are drenched with sweat, and she loses her grip on the car door. She thinks he will ask about her scar, but he doesn’t.
“So my girlfriend, Jessica’s birthday is Friday and I’m throwing a party for her. A bunch of people are coming over to my house to celebrate; do you wanna come?”
Autumn doesn’t know what to say. She’s never been to a huge party before. She was never the unpopular kid in her old school, but she was just never into partying or drinking. Autumn thinks to herself, “This is the first person who’s actually shown some interest in me, maybe I should just say yes.” So she does.
“Give me your phone number. I’ll text you my address,” says Nate.
Autumn gives Nate her phone number and he waves as she gets out of the car and walks onto her front porch. That night Nate texts her his address and they talk on the phone all night. They talk about school, New York, music, tv shows, and everything they can think of. Autumn wakes up in the morning, realizing both she and Nate fell asleep on the phone last night.

After a few more days of school and hanging out with Nate, it is finally Friday and surprisingly, Autumn is excited for the party. School is just another day of school, except more people had started talking to Autumn after they saw her hanging out with Nate a lot. Autumn could immediately tell that Nate was the popular kid in school. He was charming, handsome, the captain of the basketball team, and he was dating the head cheerleader. It seemed like every high school movie, except that Nate, surprisingly, wasn’t a jerk.
After school ends Autumn takes the bus home because Nate was absent from school. “Probably planning his girlfriend’s party,” Autumn thinks to herself. This time when Autumn gets on the bus she doesn’t sit in the reject seat. People she doesn’t recognize are talking to her and they keep saying, “Tonight is going to be awesome.” Once at Autumn’s stop she gets off the bus and immediately runs to her room to get ready for the party. She tears apart her closet looking for the perfect outfit. “Do I wear a casual outfit, or do I dress up? UGH.” Before she knows it her bedroom floor is gone. Stepping on shirts, shorts and shoes she hops over to her desk to check her Iphone to see the weather. “Eighty degrees and sunny,” she says. Autumn picks out a flowy emerald crop top, perfectly-matching the color of her eyes. She reaches in the back of her closet for high waisted denim shorts and black Converse. “Cute, but not like I’m trying too hard,” she thinks to herself.
Autumn loosely curls her hair, showing off her natural golden highlights from the sun, but making sure her hair conceals her neck. She puts on black liquid liner and black mascara, making her eyes look even more prominent and mysterious. She brushes some bronzer on to give her a glowing look and doesn’t need to add any lipstick to her already plump and pink lips.

Autumn decides to walk to Nate’s house, realizing that it is only two blocks away. She sees dozens of cars parked on the sides of the street, all leading up to a big white house. Her legs begin to shake as she gets closer and closer to the red door of Nate’s front house. “Why am I nervous?” she thinks to herself.

An unfamiliar face opens the door and lets Autumn inside. Autumn’s black Converse step inside the doorway and stop dead. People are crowded all along the foyer and there is vomit covering the once shiny tiles. Music blasting, people drinking and making out everywhere. Autumn’s mind tells her to leave and she walks back toward the front door, but Nate calls her over.

“Hey Autumn!” he says. “Were you about to leave?”

“Uh, oh no,” Autumn stutters. “I was just um, well maybe,” she laughs.

“I know there’s not that many people you know, but maybe after tonight that will change,” he says while smiling. “Do you want anything to drink?” Nate asks her.

“Nah, I’m good,” says Autumn reluctantly. Unsure of whether or not Nate will judge her for not drinking, but he doesn’t. He’s one of the few people who isn’t drunk.

“I wanna take you to see my girlfriend,” says Nate. He guides Autumn through the crowd of people, but they separate from one another. Meanwhile, Autumn decides to look for a bathroom. She opens the first door she sees, and walks inside.

“This is definitely not the bathroom,” says Autumn. She begins to head towards the door to leave, but she notices a bunch of basketball trophies lined up on a white shelf. “This must be Nate’s room,” she thinks to herself. She’s alone in Nate’s room, and no one saw her come inside. The temptation and curiosity takes over as she walks around his room. She comes across a sketch book on his oak-wood dresser. “A sketch book? Nate can draw?” She wonders to herself if anyone else knows. Just one look one hurt, she convinces herself.


She flips through the pages noticing Nate’s talent. He drew landscapes. Trees, mountains and rivers. And he drew building designs, each design looking better than the next. Everything he drew looked unreal; it was beautiful. Autumn is astonished by his talent and keeps flipping through to stop, dead, on a page. Her skin becomes pale, her mouth opens, and her piercing green eyes widen. It is her. It is a drawing of the back of her, her long hair to one side and scars covering the back of her neck and down her spine. He knew. “Why didn’t he ask me how I got them?” Autumn wonders. “What does he think happened?” Autumn’s thoughts are halted by the turning knob of the door.

Autumn immediately shuts the sketch book closed and sprints over to Nate’s closet to hide inside. A couple making out bursts in through the door and Autumn thinks she might recognize the girl. Her straight, silky blonde hair looks familiar, but Autumn can’t focus on that right now. She needs to get out of the room without the couple seeing her. Luckily, the closet is close to the door and Autumn runs out, quickly shutting the door. The couple is too into each other to even realize her.

After making her way back into the crowd of people Autumn spots Nate.

“Sorry I lost you before,” said Autumn.

“Don’t worry about it,” says Nate “I can’t find Jessica anyways.”

“Can I talk to you for a second, outside?” says Autumn.

Nate’s eyebrows raise with confusion. “Sure,” he says.

“Look, I know this is wrong of me, but I accidently stumbled into your room. I saw a sketch book and I-”

Nate interrupted her, “You saw the drawing of you.”

Autumn gulps, “Yeah, and you’re probably wondering about it.”

“You seem really conscious of it. I didn’t tell anyone or anything, I was just curious how you got it. That’s why I drew it. I get you might not want to talk about it, that’s why I didn’t ask,” said Nate.

Autumn pictured it all in her head. Everything. The screaming, the crying, the blood, all of it. “You know before when I didn’t take a drink when you asked me?”

“Yeah,” replied Nate.

“It’s because it reminds me of this.” Autumn turns around and pulls her hair to the side. Scars all across her neck, discolored and raised. Nate doesn’t know what to say, but Autumn keeps talking. “I know we’ve just met, but I feel like I know you and I like you. I’ve never told anyone about this, but I think maybe now is the right time.” Words spit out of Autumn’s mouth like vomit. “You asked me why I left New York and this is why… My dad was an alcoholic. He would drink, but then become sober for a while and it was just a continuous thing. He could never stop and my mom kept putting up with him, until the night I got these scars. My dad was really drunk and he didn’t even seem like himself. His green eyes squinted and his jaw clenched. I went to go take the Heineken out of his hand, but he smashed it and before I knew it I felt digs at my skin. With shards of glass stuck in my body I tried to make him realize what he was doing. With my eyes bloodshot and full of tears I tried to show him what drinking did to him. That’s when he pushed me. His strong, wrinkled hands drenched with the smell of beer pushed me. My body thrust into the air, my mind was blank. My bones cracked and my body bruised with blood all over. That’s why my mom and I left. We came here to my Aunt’s house and I’m lucky to be alive.”

With no more words to say Autumn cries. Nate hugs her tightly and that’s just what she needs. No words, just someone there for her and he is.


After they pull away from each other Nate looks into her eyes, “You’re beautiful, and that doesn’t make you any less beautiful. In my eyes it adds to your beauty. It’s a sign of how strong you are and how much you’ve been through. Autumn, you’re different from everyone else and that’s why I was drawn to you in the first place. Everyone sees me as the basketball team captain, or the guy with a popular girlfriend, but you just see me as me. I appreciate that more than you’ll ever know and I know we haven’t known each other for long, but I feel myself when I’m with you and I know I’m together with Jessica, but I don’t think-”

Interrupted by a tall, skinny, blonde haired girl “Nate!” she screams. The girl hugs him and Nate reluctantly hugs back.

Nate’s jaw clenches and his mouth quivers. “Autumn, this is my girlfriend, Jessica.”

Jessica smiles and waves to Autumn, but Autumn’s mind transports her to Nate’s bedroom. Autumn remembers peering out from Nate’s closet door and seeing a girl with long blonde hair making out with some random guy. That was Jessica.
A flood of questions race through Autumn’s mind “What do I do? Do I tell Nate what I saw? If I tell him will he break up with her? If he breaks up with her I don't want him to like me by default. But before Jessica came it sounded like he was about to tell me he liked me, right?” Instead Autumn waves her shaking hand and says, “Hi Jessica!” Autumn looks at her phone and pretends to have a text, “Guys, I’m so sorry, but I have to go my mom is pissed that I’m still not home. Happy Birthday Jessica!”
Autumn sprints around the side of Nate’s house, tripping over empty red solo cups, she keeps running. “Good thing I decided to wear sneakers,” she thinks to herself. Autumn makes it to her Aunt’s house and runs up the porch steps. She sits down on the cherry-wood steps. Her panting is so loud she can barely hear herself think. “I have to tell him,” she says to herself.
Autumn picks up her phone and opens up her messages with Nate. She types out a text saying, “Sorry I ran out like that. I’ll explain tomorrow during the tutor session.” Autumn reluctantly sends the message, knowing it’s the right thing to do. Her hands tense up as she drops her phone onto her lap.
The sound of the owls and the sight of the shining stars loosen up her body. She stands up, her legs feel heavy and they drag with every step she takes. Looking up from the porch she sees her window open and her turquoise curtains flowing with the wind. She opens the door to her Aunt’s house and steps inside. She makes it up the set of stairs that lead to her bedroom and she immediately collapses onto her bed.
She kicks of her black Converse, then lies motionless on her bed. She silently thinks to herself, “I just willingly told someone about my past. I just told Nate about everything.” A huge smile forms across Autumn’s face and she keeps it there. She sits up on her bed and looks at herself in the mirror above her dresser. Autumn picks up her auburn locks and looks at raised lines covering the back of her neck. She touches them for the first time, actually letting herself feel them and the pain they bring her. She doesn’t cry, she doesn’t scream, she just stands there looking with her emerald eyes. She looks at herself and gives herself a closed-smile. She walks back over to her twin size bed and peacefully sleeps for the first time since that night.

The glistening sun, along with woodpeckers wakes up Autumn. She wipes her eyes, sits up and yawns. She reaches over to her bedside table and checks her phone. She has a text from Nate, it says, “I have something I need to talk to you about too.”

Autumn’s face becomes pale, she bites her lip and wonders if Nate found out about Jessica. “What if he found out and he knows that I knew and didn’t tell him. I was planning on telling him today, but how would he know that?” Autumn looks at her clock, twenty minutes until she has to be at Nate’s. She throws on a basic gray v-neck, light denim shorts, and the converse she wore last night. She puts on mascara, making her long lashes even more voluminous. She runs down the stairs, almost forgetting her books to study. She rushes out the door and walks to Nate’s. The sun stares down on Autumn and her hair covering her neck is becoming drenched with sweat. She looks at the hair tie on her wrist. She flips her head over and ties her hair up in a bun. Autumn sighs with relief and it’s like a weight is lifted off her shoulders.

She makes her way to Nate’s house and knocks on his red door. The door swings open with Nate smiling at her. Nate offers Autumn to come inside and although it was the same house she was at last night it looks so different. No sign of a party anywhere. The tile-floor is shining and the house is perfectly clean.

“Look,” says Autumn. “Last night when I left it wasn’t because I had to go, it was because when I was in your room saw a couple making out, and after you introduced me to Jessica I realized it was her,” Autumn pauses. “I’m sorry, I should have told you then, but I didn’t know what to say and I really like you and I thought that if I told you, you would just break up with Jessica and I wouldn’t want to be your second choice. I-”

Nate interrupts Autumn mid-sentence and kisses her. Her full, pink lips kiss him back and as they pull away they both smile from ear to ear. “Autumn, last night after you left I broke up with Jessica. I told her I couldn’t be with her because I like someone else. And after I told her that she told me what she did, but I didn’t seem to care. I really like you Autumn and I want to be with you.”

Autumn smiles, “I want that too.”
“Oh and by the way, I like your hair up,” says Nate.

Autumn’s eyes sparkle and as she smiles she says, “Yeah, someone once told me that the thing I would cover up, the thing that I was insecure about, makes me even more beautiful.”