It was one of those days that wasn’t warm nor cold. Sixty degrees in June with a strong breeze, mocked the the small town Banks, Alabama. Benny Narson at seventeen years old was making his daily money at the lumber yard. Benny didn’t mind his job though, he loved that it was outside and how he saw the blueness of the sky and how the clouds looked. If the sky was a perfect blue and the clouds were just puffy enough; Benny knew it was gonna be a good day. The sun was coming down and Benny’s long eight hours of work was just at a close. Although, today was a harder day for him, he usually just took rounds around town picking up used or thrown out lumber. But today he was stuck chopping down oak trees, the beautiful trees Benny always fell in love with. He loved how they could have everlasting branches and the odd shaped leaves that covered the strong, bold, and cunning tree. Cutting them down was like taking candy away from a toddler. Finally, the sun flew away which meant Benny was done with work, he said his goodbyes to his friends and went off into the evening. The sun finally disappeared leaving Benny cold and dismissed. It was eight o’clock and Benny always took the longer route home. He loved to take the backroads of Banks, the scenery grew more meaning in his life. The back roads were made out of dirt, instead of the main roads which were full or gravel and some concrete. With that, the wind was blowing dirt all around which caused Benny to shut his eyes every now and then. Everytime Benny crossed this side of town, things would happen for the better. He never questioned it, but everytime he came back here he felt something pushing him down this road. And he had an idea who was pushing him down it. Jessica Thomas of course. Jessica Thomas was more than beautiful to Benny. She was perfectly flawed, Benny has known Jessica since Kindergarten. Jessica and Benny were in a class of twenty-two which was pretty big for a small town like Banks. They continued in the same class until now, Benny never had the strength to talk to Jessica though. Everytime he would start a sentence he would just run away, and the weeks after that he would hide. The embarrassment was too hard for him. It all started in the seventh grade, when Benny started to grow feelings for Jessica. It was that cold September day, the wind hallowed louder than it ever did. Benny was walking on the same old dirt road he is doing now, the dirt wouldn’t stop flying around his eyes. Benny swore to himself he was never going to take this way again. But Jessica changed that, she got off her bus, her pink floral dress flew in so many directions. Then suddenly this big gush of wind overtook her stance, and her school books and papers flew in every direction. Causing her blue eyes to flicker on the ground. Benny saw it all happen, and rushed to help her. He hadn’t known who it was, he just felt he should be the honest man and help this young lady. He rushed in all directions, picking up the papers and all her books. After five minutes, Benny came back to Jessica and handed them to her. Then his heart stopped, time seemed endless, the second he stared into Jessica’s eyes he knew he just witnessed a miracle. He swore he felt his heart melt, the way she smiled grew tears into his eyes. The way her long brown hair flew with the wind, and how she laughed at anything. After time finally became a option, Benny stood up and walked away. He didn’t look back, he just kept walking. Benny knew that was a mistake, and he has regretted ever since.
After that flashback Benny chuckled at how he still regrets it. The dirt road got more narrower as Benny noticed bends in the roads, trees grew closer together and Benny finally found what he was looking for. A small white house with blue shutters hidden behind ten poplar trees. Benny did his regular routine by hiding behind an old maple tree. Benny was right on time as always, the moon popped up and the stars turned on. And then Jessica Thomas came out of that old country house that Benny just loved. Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail, which showed her blue eyes even more. They were brighter today he noticed, they sparkled as the moon shined upon her flawless skin. Jessica would always complain how her skin was not perfect, how she noticed blotches or disfigurement on her shoulder. But no Jessica, Benny thought, you’re perfectly flawed. Benny couldn’t see every detail of Jessica from how far he was standing but he wish he could. He loved the little freckles on her nose and on her cheeks. He loved that he saw them on that day he first fell for her. And he memorized how they were placed, for if he couldn’t see, he could remember. At this time, Jessica pulls up her old white rocking chair and reads the same book. Everytime Benny watched her, which was almost everyday he saw the same shape of the book, and the same silhouettes. He would stay up all night and think what book could be possibility that good to read over and over again? Thirty minutes passed and she went inside, looking once more at the stars and shut the door behind her. That was Benny’s signal to leave as well. The walk home was long and cold, but of course Benny didn’t mind. He was the kind of person that didn’t want his life to be bothered with some unfaulted event. After thirty minutes with the temperature dropping to 50 and the wind increasing it felt like he was walking for hours. Benny lived on the other side of town, where the trees were gone and where the sky looked more gray than blue. He felt like his meaning of life was being washed away from the technology growing. Benny arrived to his tan ranch house at nine o'clock, greeted his mother and father and went to sleep. Dreaming of Jessica, nothing changed.

Months grew, and Benny found myself falling in love with Jessica. He couldn’t comprehend how he never had a conversation with her, but he still felt the way he did. Everyday at work he would daydream of her, just simple things. Simple things like bumping into each other, having a short conversation, or just being close to her. Little things that mattered to him. Benny was once at work again, it was August 1st and in a month he was going back to school. Going back to the only place he could be close to Jessica. But bad news struck him, his old pal, Jack, came up to Benny this morning and told him Jessica was moving to New York and wasn’t enrolling in Banks Als High School. When Benny heard that, he felt something in his gut that he had to move on. That he was creating a relationship with someone he hardly even knows.
~
Work ended four hours early for Benny as a giant rain cloud bursted with thunder and lightening. Benny felt embarrassed how he thought he was in love with Jessica Thomas and how he daydreamed of ideas that were impossible. He told himself he had to walk in the rain and learn to let go. The rain began to come down harder and harder, it would downpour here and there. And many people offered him a ride, but Benny just shook his head and kept walking. Today, Benny didn’t go down the old dirt road, he told himself it was a dead end to something that was never gonna be his in the first place. Benny was ten minutes away from home when yet another car pulled over, Benny tried to control his anger. But after ten cars disturbing his peace of mind he lost it. The car approached to a perfect stop and the driver didn’t roll down their window like the others. But no other than Jessica Thomas got out of the car, her brown hair laying perfectly two inches below her shoulders, and her icy blue eyes as clear as the raindrops falling from the sky.
“Hey, do you need a lift? The storm is getting stronger and it looks like you have been walking for a while, huh?” Benny didn’t want to regret anything more with Jessica, he found that this was a chance. He figured that even though it was storming out, there could still be hope. Hope without a clear blue sky and perfect puffy clouds. Everything that Benny was thinking dismissed in his head, something grew inside him. And suddenly Benny felt confident.
“I have about ten minutes more to go on foot. But thanks for the offer, I’ll take it.” Energy grew inside him, Benny finally said a sentence to Jessica Thomas. Benny wrapped around the car and welcomed himself into her car. Jessica came in, and it felt like Benny and Jessica were the only two people in the world. The dark car grew shivers up Benny’s back with the rain pitter pattering against the windshield.
“So Benny, I just need to say that I appreciate you picking up my papers a while back. It might sound stupid that I remember that, but it was probably the most nicest thing someone has ever done to me,” Benny’s heart stopped as Jessica said his name, he heard his heart break when she remembered that day.
“It wasn’t stupid. Jessica, I’m serious. Umm and what do you mean that was the nicest thing anyone has ever done for you? That’s heh nothing.” Benny chuckled at himself and how he had to ask the question that sounded so ridiculous. Benny assumed that Jessica was the kind of girl that got roses at her doorstep. Because in his world, she was perfect.
“Well, yeah. At school people would knock down my books because they thought I was weird. I had like what no friends in elementary and middle school. Then in high school people would try to take advantage of me. I’m seventeen years old and I don’t know what love feels like, I don’t know who I am or what my goal in life is. I feel like I’m drowning, I keep on gasping for air but I’m too weak to breathe.” Tears started to trickle down Jessica’s face, she pushed them aside quickly, embarrassed she tries to focus on the road. Acting like the last minute didn’t happen. But Benny was good at reading people and he knew Jessica wasn’t all he thought she was.
“Jessica, you were given this life, because you were strong enough to live it. What you’re feeling is a cross that you are carrying. This is nothing more than life.” Benny spoke, Benny was known as someone who spitted out quotes, just on the top of his head. He loved noticing the satisfaction of people when they were inspired by him. Jessica didn’t say a word, she breathed in and out. Her car became to a stop and Benny looked up, saw his house. And was puzzled how Jessica knew where he lived. He opened his mouth to say something but Jessica looked into Benny’s eyes, a connection appeared and Jessica’s lips were on Bennys. In a second, Benny was kissing Jessica. Jessica, the one he knew he was in love with. The way Jessica moved her lips and the way it felt grew more hope inside Benny. Hope that kept on growing, hope that couldn’t be described. After a few moments, their lips drew back to their seats. Benny felt confusion within in body, but before he could say anything. Jessica spoke.
“I was jealous of you, Benny. I always have been. The way you took life as a gift, everyone in town talks to you. You are friends with everyone, in Banks people look up to you. I would always see you walk past my house around eight o’clock every night, I would follow you home and I don’t know why but I felt something. I never knew what it was, but I just felt that you could help me. That you could save me.” Tears poured out of Jessica’s eyes, and Benny knew in that moment he felt a part of his meaning in life. He wrapped his arms around Jessica, and held her tight. He looked back at the last twenty minutes and felt bewildered how God gave him Jessica, because Jessica needed Benny.

Three weeks have passed and Benny had his miracle, Benny went through his daily routine. Going to work for eight hours and walking down the same dirt road. But Jessica appeared more often, visiting Benny at work, having picnics in the rolling hills, and they could sit in a room and not talk. Because they felt this connection towards them that was felt by the heart. Benny started to learn more about Jessica, his heart cracked more and more when he heard the things she thought about herself and the events that had occurred in her lifetime. He recalls one night when Jessica and him were laying on a hill. The hill swooped at twenty feet above, making them hidden and feeling canceled from the world. The sun was just setting and the stars began to brighten and the moon was full. Jessica pulled her body next to Benny, making their bodies fit perfectly. She lied her head on his chest and poured out what she has been feeling for many years.
“I moved to Banks when I was six because my mother was shot from people who understood pain and was never loved. Who was hurting and felt unwanted. Short story short my mother was shot in the heart. She died instantly, coming home from school to see your mother dead on the floor is not what every six year old experience. We lived in inner New York, so that could give people answers how they got into our house and shot my mother. My father and I came here to move on with our lives and not have the memory of my mother gone. The first years we moved here I would dream of her, every night. I would see her body over and over again, the terror in her eyes, wide opened, trying to find something, but lost it when she fell. In the middle of school I would hear gunshots ringing in my ears, I would freak out and run out of the classroom. Like I told you, people thought I was a freak. When I got older and closer to High School. My mother was no longer a memory, I forced myself to forget because the pain that was drowning me. I started to talk more, and I cleaned up pretty nice. Guys would approach me and say words that were bleak and repulsive. I was young and thought it was love, but at sixteen I noticed they weren’t giving me love. Then I fell into it once again, the drowning part, how I felt like no one could save me. How my life was floating away by the second, but one thing kept me alive. Once thing kept me from killing myself. And that was and is you Benny. I would see you, and a smile would form, you dried up my tears. And when I saw you on the street sopping wet I knew this was my only chance. My only chance for you to save me. I feel love, Benny. You gave me something that I have always wanted. And I will live my life paying you back for it.” That night ended in perfect harmony, the bullfrogs sang low, the birds chirped, and the love they felt towards each other couldn't be broken.

It was three days before Summer would end, and when school would begin. Benny spent time with Jessica more everyday. He continued to give Jessica strength, continued to give her the love she needed, and the words she wanted to hear. Every night he would read off quotes that he made up in his mind at work. She cried into her lap, noticing that Benny had saved her from herself. He saved her from the memories of the past. It was yet another perfect blue sky and white puffy clouds, but Benny felt something in his gut. He felt something mocking him, and he felt like he was forgetting something. But he couldn’t remember what it was. He tried to brush the thought away when he saw Jessica walking towards him. But a shiver skipped up his spine when Jessica looked like she was drowning again.
“Hey beautiful what’s wrong?” Benny knew something wasn’t right, just how Jessica was standing and how her eyes kept flicking away.
“I need to talk to you, come over here,” Jessica motioned Benny ten feet away, under an oak tree. The only one left in the lumber yard. He saw how J and B were carved into the tree with a heart around it. He touched it and felt the love he still feels so strongly.
“Benny, this last month has been the best month in the world for me. You gave me love... you gave me a reason to live. You gave me something that brings tears into my eyes, it’s just...”
Jessica trails off and tears fill her face, she wipes them off fast but they still scar her cheeks.
“Jessica. Please don’t finish your sentence.”
“We need to break up.” Benny’s expressive turns cold, his stare forces his blue eyes to turn dark and transparent.
“Jessica what are you saying? Why are you doing this to us, more importantly. Why are you doing this to yourself?”
“Do you think I want to lose you? I am in love with you.”
“Then please tell me why you want us to be over. Because Jessica I’m confused.” Benny tries to control his anger, like his mother and father told him too. How God taught him too, but Benny was afraid he would lose something that meant the world to him.
“I can’t tell you! Okay, it’s confusing. And I just want to get this over with. Benny, you saved me, I still love you. And I will always love you.” Jessica pulls in, and kisses Benny, but he pulls back quickly.
“What the hell are you doing? Damnit Jessica!” Benny shouts, he turns around and kicks the oak tree.
“Don’t follow me.” Jessica runs out of the lumber yard and back down the old dirt road. Benny had to control his anger, he had to understand that Jessica knew what she was doing. That her reason was just today or for a couple of days. Benny decided that he was going to Jessica’s house, before school, in three days.
~
The c*** crowed and Benny woke up to go down to Jessica's house. It was the worst three days, that Benny had ever felt in his life. The separation they had made tough Benny Narson cry every night. He walked down the old dirt road and ran to her house. But something bothered Benny, the house almost looked quiet. Too quiet for the first day back, Benny walked up the steps and knocked on the door. He knocked once...nothing. He knocked again...nothing. He knocked harder...nothing. He looked through the windows, and saw no lights on, and the windows were old so Benny didn’t know if there were any objects moving. Benny was more confused than ever, anger built inside him. He was about to knock down the door but an arm grabbed him.
“Benny! What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Jack pulls behind, and lets go of Benny’s arm.
“Jessica. The Thomas’s. Are they home?”
“Benny are you okay? Did you forget?”
“Forget what?” The tone of Jack’s voice increased Benny’s heartbeat.
“The beginning of August, I told you they were leaving town. They went back to New York I think. Their home town.” Benny froze for a second, and a flashback appeared to his mind, the memory of Benny trying to move on because Jessica was leaving.
“That’s why she broke up with me. That’s why there isn’t an us.” Benny says under his breath.
“Wait did Jessica tell you?” Jack says.
“No, no, no she didn’t. She is in the pain, the pain... hurt. She’s drowning again. Jack she’s drowning!” Benny starts to yell now, the trees sway with the wind, the sun is rising and the forest is awakening,
“Okay I don’t think you’re okay. Come on, let’s go to school.”
“What’s her address! I need to write, Jack no one understands her like I do. I need to show her I still care, how could I not visit her. I feel stupid, I feel like I just let down God! God damnit!”
“Whoa, Benny. I’m sorry bud but they didn’t tell anyone where they’re headed. For all I know they could be Canada. Come on let’s go.” Benny struggled for a second, but he knew he couldn’t waste the life God has given him. God made this happen, Benny had to let go of Jessica, he had to put this in the hands of God. But without doubt, he knew that he would always love Jessica. And that would never change.

“That memory is my favorite memory of all. And the best part is: it’s not one of those memories that you have to dig so far down and find. But rather a memory that lives in the present, a memory that I still feel even though it might not be here with me. But sometimes I don’t question the works of God or how life works. Because maybe, we aren’t suppose to know,” I close the black notebook that lays in my hand, the binding is ripping and in a few more times I tell this story. It will completely rip off and all my pages will fly across the floor. But this notebook is a metaphor for me, Jessica and I are like the binding. We are practically ripping apart by the second but that one thread that keeps the pages together is our everlasting love. And I still feel it, more powerful than I ever have. I have been telling this story ever since I moved out of Banks and into Altamont, Utah. A small town like Banks but different. I opened up my own cafe slash bakery. I named it after her, “Jessica’s” expands over the top of an old cabin that is now for people to eat, relax, and tell their own memories. Every week I open up the same little notebook and say the same old story. People pass through here and share their own, it’s way to experience how different people lived their life. And how they used the talents God has given us. It’s around eight o’clock on a Sunday and it’s time for me to close, I say goodbye to everyone and they all exit into the sudden rain. I moved to Utah because it doesn’t rain as much, like it did in Banks. But once in awhile there would be a cloud burst. I cleanup for the night and put the chairs on top of tables for I can sweep tomorrow. I start to go upstairs to where I live but I feel like I have forgotten something. I rush downstairs to double check everything, but I hear a sudden ring from the cafe door opening. The door opens and I notice that I have forgotten to lock the door and turn off all the lights.
“I’m sorry we’re closed for the night. You can come back tomorrow.” I say, I look up to see who it is. And I stop, I freeze. Every muscle in my body doesn’t move. She looks different, but almost the same. It’s been fifteen years. She has grown, she’s two inches taller than the last time I saw her. Her brown hair cut right above her shoulders, giving herself a more mature look. Her eyes are still the same though, those icy blue eyes that I fell in love with. Jessica. And I wonder if she knows it’s me, it’s only been fifteen years.
‘I’m sorry. I’m just looking for something. And I think I just found it.”
“You know, I always thought that perfect blue skies and those big puffy white clouds would mean it was going to be a good day. But I’m beginning to realize that these rainy days are doing just fine.”
“Well didn’t you say, that this place is closed? I better be off, but here, have this.” Jessica hands me something and walks out the door. Before she leaves she turns around and adds one thing
“I’ll be back tomorrow, but here’s the answer to your question.” I unwrap the brown paper and the twine covering what Jessica gave me. The paper falls to the ground and in my hand lays a Bible. I open it and inside is Jessica’s handwriting.
Dear Benny,
You have always wondered, “what book must be so good to read over and over again?” Here’s the answer to your question.
John 16: 29-33
I flip through the pages and get to John 16: 29-33, it’s circled and reads: “In the world you will have trouble, but take courage, I have conquered the world.”

THE END