Is it Everyone?
Anxiety, jealousy, anger, happiness, back and forth throughout the day. Is high school like this for everyone? I have never had so many emotions at one time. High school for me is gorgeous and ugly at the same time. Some days are full of joy and laughter. Others full of tears and a hurting heart.
Everyone always says that if you enjoy high school, you’re doing it wrong. But is that actually true? I always hope things go by fast and that college is around the corner. But then I think about how fast senior year snuck up on me. College acceptance letters coming in, senior pictures, and homecoming is already finished. Now I wish time would just stop so I could go back to a night, not to change anything, but to relive it and enjoy it even more than I did the first time.
There are so many things that get to me while going through the day. It can be as simple as someone not eating their food right or just the way they laughed at some one’s joke. Some days I feel so irritated and annoyed. I have never really had patience in the first place, so when I have one of those days it is just best for people to stay away from me.
Some days I wake up and feel the need to do nothing. I show up to school and just go through the motions and eventually it catches up with me. I find a hallway to roam, or a teacher to bug, or simply just sit around and find a good show on Netflix. Sometimes I find myself making excuses just so I do not have to do anything for the day.
Anxiety has always found its way to get to me. I am one of those people who worries about everything under the sun. If someone doesn’t respond to me the way I think they should, I automatically think they are mad at me. I’m up every night thinking about what I am going to wear for the next day or for that week. I always have my bags packed the night before and if I don’t find time to do so and have to do it in the morning, I am a wreck and think the world is going to come to an end. One thing that I have gotten better at though is getting to school at a later time. My freshman year I made sure I was there by 7:45 every morning, and if I didn’t get there on time, I was mad at my siblings and sometimes mouthed off to my mom. But as the years go by, I have gotten less up tight and maybe a little too laid back and get to school around 8:15 every morning. It is a miracle if I make it to school before or at 8 once a week.
Anger for me is usually built up. I overthink things or hold things in way too often. I do not like when people are mad at me and when they are, I get mad. Jealousy is another thing that gets to me very easily. I think that is one of the biggest emotions in high school. People are always wanting things they don’t have and saying that their lives are worse than others, some people don’t have to work to help out, jealous of boys, jealous of others happiness. It’s crazy how many things one person can get jealous of.
And then there is being overwhelmed in the mix. One of the worst feelings ever. Nothing worse than being emotional and then being crushed with homework, work, and other at home things. When people say high school is getting me ready for the real world, the emotions part definitely fits in there. School has always been something I have to work at. It does not come easy to me and I often get upset because the people I am close to are very intelligent and school comes naturally to them. I have always wished I was less talented in sports and more intelligent with school.
So far high school has been a good ride. There were definitely days where I did not want to come back or see certain people again but that is how life will always go. As I started working I have learned to like school more. School is way easier than the work field. School is full of life lessons and experiences. I will say I am very thankful for the school that I go to. The teachers are always willing to help, my peers are always willing to help, and the coaches are nothing but good at making sure we use our full potential.
As a senior, I see myself anxiously wanting to get out of here, but to be honest, I am going to miss all my times in high school. I know for sure high school won’t be the best years of my life so I am really looking forward to what years out of high school gives me. I hope that the peers that are younger than me understand that time does go by fast and not to wish that it goes by faster.
Throughout high school my emotions have always gotten to me but I am so thankful for that. Without all those crazy emotions and moment’s, I would not be who I am right now. There are many moments that I will want to relive or go back not to redo anything but just to experience that time again because it was so great. I will miss smirking across the room and rolling my eyes to my best friend when someone does something we think is ridiculous or annoying.
As an ending, I hope that everyone else who experiences feelings like I do throughout high school learns to bear with them and let them happen but not to let them overcome you. It’s okay to not be okay. It’s okay to be proud of who you are. Be confident. Be kind. And most of all always make sure you live day by day and never take a single one for granted. I have always been told I will never know when my last day will be.