After my death, I was a seraphim for a couple hundred years. I fought in His holy wars against the demons. Over and over. I got tired of being called to war repeatedly.
I requested an audience with Him and asked him for a second life. He granted my request, and told me to follow my heart. That was His last piece of advice to me before I was pushed into a new life.
In that life I was a blacksmith’s daughter in France in the 1700s. My father hated the royalty, especially the queen. Queen Marie Antoinette had scorned my father in his own shop. She called his work the work of a peasant, and not someone on the royal workforce. She cast my father and I out, and she made it so no one would go to us for our work.
We did however supply the Revolution with weapons.
My father told me not to leave the house, but I left anyway. I ran to the palace, and I accidently ran into someone. A young boy. He had black hair and beautiful brown eyes. I didn’t realize it then, but it was the same boy who had been the cause of my first death.
He saw me, and he jumped back in shock. He was dressed in the colors of a noble, and we stared at each other for a moment or two. When that moment ended, he leaped for me, and grabbed my arm, pulling me to him. He spun me around, and I felt something on my neck. It was a knife.
He and I walked out to the balcony, and I saw my father on the edge of the garden outside the palace. He saw me too, and started running for me. That was my last sight as I felt the knife dig into my neck, and spill my peasant blood all over the balcony.

I was in Heaven that time for several hundred years. I did what I do best, and that is fight the demons that plague the Earth and the humans.
When World War 2 started, I was sent by Him to fight on the side of the Allies.
I want to make something clear: Generally, souls have no gender, but their hosts do. But when a soul has had many lifetimes, the soul adopts the gender of the form that it inhabits most. I was mostly a girl. This is the only life where I have been a man. A boy actually. It was very strange, I didn’t like it at all, and it was very uncomfortable.
I died in that life on Doomsday. I was one of the young men who jumped off the boats first. Though I didn’t jump, I was pushed off. That resulted in my death. Stupid soul. I could tell that this was its first lifetime, and I knew that it wouldn’t have anymore.

I was born again on April 23 of 2001. I was a girl again, which was very nice. But I would discover in this life what it meant to be sad.
In every life I’ve had, I have received some sort of sadness. But it was never as bad as this one. And of course, it all started with that boy.
I met him when I was thirteen this time. And the damage he did on my soul this time was astronomical. I felt every lick of pain I had in former lives, except I couldn’t die.
Souls that have had former lives, or that were angels can not commit suicide. We find that our resolve gives out just before we do the deed. But that didn’t stop me from trying.
I grew attracted to that boy. My soul was at war with my heart. I decided to listen to my soul, and retreat before I could get hurt more.
The darkness came. It filled my mind with all sorts of sorrow and anger. Many negative emotions. My judgment grew too clouded for anything to make sense anymore.
Everyone has become my enemy, and I have to train them out of my thoughts. I have to focus on my goal. What is my goal? I don’t even know anymore.