As I walked through the doors, tears pooled in my eyes. Not now Zorah, stay strong. For her. I thought. My eyes fixed upon the person lying in the hospital bed as I crossed the room. Even though I tried to force myself to be strong, the tears escaped my eyes, falling, one after the other. I reached the side of the bed and looked down at her. She looked so broken. Her face had paled since I had seen her last, her head wrapped in bandages. Her right arm and left foot in a cast. “Hey mom.” I croaked. “How are you doing?” I asked her, even though I knew there would be no response from her. The heartbeat monitor mindlessly beeped away, showing that my mom still had a heartbeat. That just wasn’t enough for me though. I needed to hear her voice, see her kind eyes and sweet smile, although I figured that would never come. I grabbed her hand as I sat in the chair that was next to her bed. I looked at her face, memorizing her features. Absentmindedly rubbing the pad of my thumb across her knuckles. Her eyes would flutter every once and awhile, that was the one thing that gave me hope. As I held on to her hand, my mind drifted to the fun times we had when my mom was still healthy. Although my dad had left our family when I was only 2, me and my mom still had a lot of fun together.
*Beginning of Flashback*
As I run through the bright green grass giggling, I turn my head just enough to see her chasing me. I giggle even more as I run as fast as my little legs can carry me. I run to the edge of the forest, and just when I think I am safe, I feel a pair of arms wrap around my torso, pulling me away from the woods, lifting me up off of the ground and throwing me up in the air. I scream as I fly high into the air and as I turn around, I see my mom with her arms wide open, ready to catch me. I start to giggle and before I know it, I am engulfed in a bear hug, being spun around by my mom. I giggle even more until tears fall from my eyes, and I have hiccups. My mom puts me down and crouches down to my level. She smiles sweetly at me and takes the strand of hair that has fallen in front of my eyes, and pushes it behind my ear. She kisses my forehead gently. She pulls away from me and puts her hands on my shoulders. “I love you babygirl.” My mom says. “I love you too mommy.” I reply.
*End of Flashback*
I smile at the thought of the day at the park when I was 3. I loved that day. We had a picnic in the field and we stayed there until it was dark.
I let my mind drift off into another memory of my mom and I together.
*Beginning of Flashback*
My eyes start to get heavy as we lie on the blanket, looking up at the stars. My head on her chest as her hands run through my hair. She stops and points up at the sky. “Found the big dipper” My mom exclaims. I watch her hand as it traces the constellation. I look at the sky searching for more constellations. “Mom!” I squeal. “What is it honey?” she asks me. “I found aquarius!” I trace the constellation with my hand making sure she sees it. “Great job baby!” She tells me. I snuggle further into her letting every worry escape my mind. I look around the campsite we are at looking for anything interesting. All of the sudden, I see a small green light fly by. I slowly get up and stand on the blanket. I creep up to where I last saw the light and see one light up down on the ground near my feet. I crouch down, my knees cracking as I do so. I look around for the light again and see a small but with the back end of it lighting up. I cup my hands and slowly bring them down above the bug. I scoop it up and hold it in my hands. “Hey mom!” I yell. “What darling?” She asks me. “I caught a firefly!” I say making my way towards her. “Nice job baby, do you want to put it in a jar?” She inquires. “Yeah!” I reply.
*End of Flashback*
I giggle a bit at the thought of that night. We caught so many fireflies that the inside of the jar was covered in them. So many happy memories, I wish I had more time to make more memories like that. I thought. I was pulled out of my thoughts when all of the sudden, someone squeezes my hand. I look down at my mom, with tears in my eyes. “Hey mom, you are awake. How are you feeling?” I ask her looking at her worriedly. “I am in a bit of pain.” She replies weakly. As she speaks, she winces. “You looked like you were deep in thought…” She tells me. “I was” I reply smiling softly at the memories. “What were you thinking about?” She asks me smiling weakly. “I Was thinking of all of the fun times that we had when I was little” I reply. “Like the time that we had a picnic in the park and we stayed there until dark. Or the time when we went camping and we caught a bunch of fire-” I was cut off by a long beep. I look down at my mom and her eyes are closed with a soft smile on her face. Tears blur my vision once again, and I look at the heartbeat monitor. The tears that I had fought so hard to keep inside, finally decide to fall, as I am left staring at a flat line.