And at that moment. I know she’s lost too. She walked past me - whoosh. And then she’s gone with the other dolls. Their pretty faces are heavy with eyeliner, massacre, blush, and lipstick. They look too pretty. Like a barbie. Unreal. Plastic. I stared. Why are there people like them? Why are there people like me? Alone, silent, nerds. Geeks. One of the barbies, Megan saw me and hissed. “B***h.” and then she smiled to the other barbies and dolls at her tea party and they all giggled like they just heard the funniest joke in the world...
The ringing bell caught my attention and my eyes flew back to my stupid textbook. Mr.Smith coughed, then he coughed again and Megan helped by glaring at anyone who didn’t shut up. She then winked at Mr.Smith, who winked back. Eww. “Ahem….”. This time, thank goodness, everyone finally stopped talking and all looked at him. “Okay, class. Happy Monday! Today I am going to pass out the test we had on last Thursday, alright? You guys did pretty bad on this test. I was expecting more, you know. All of you should look up to Miss Angela here, who got the second highest score - a B+” He pointed to the beaming Angela barbie and her clapping friends. “and Miss Sophie here, who got an A- on this test!”. His finger pointed at me. Um... what?
What should I do? I can almost swear that I saw a flick of anger like a stormy cloud that passed her eyes. Her eyes narrowed. Uh oh. But the next second, she smiled. “Good Job! Sophie! You must have spent a lot of time studying this test, right?” her sickening voice says and she beams at me. I felt a cold feeling spreading from the back of my neck, penetrating onto my hand, my back, my shoulder, and my stomach. “Oh. Don’t tell me you didn’t.” Angela said again. I looked up, frightened. I can see the threat burning in her eyes, threatening me to say it. To say that I studied. To show that she is such a nice person, to show that she is kind and friendly, and to show how modest she is to Mr.Smith and to show that she doesn’t care about her grade being lower than mine. My anger flared up like a balloon.
I look at her, smiled and pressed my hands into my thighs to stop them from shaking, I answered her question The question she wanted me to answer so much. “Actually, I only studied for an hour. Is that long?” Is that long? I almost laughed from the look on her face. Amusement, it was, until it turned into something deadly. That look, it was half amusement and half sinister. Like a snake’s face before it strikes to the victim’s weakness, before it sank it’s fangs into the victim’s skin, before the poison penetrates into the victim’s veins and before the victim, at last, gave up on surviving in front of them, and before the victim finally stops struggling and dies. I shivered.

Angela smiled again. “Oh. Really? Anyway, that’s nice to know !” I smiled too. But my leg is actually shaking uncontrollably and feeling numb from fear, the fear of what would happen next, of  the fear of what could possibly happen next. But besides the fear that was growing, there was also the feeling of pride and joy from my victory in this battle. The pride was soon gone and the fear won’t leave. And the class dragged on. I uttered a sigh when the shaking finally stopped. Bored, I counted.

28 mechanical pencils.
16 pieces of eraser.
2 girls playing with her hair.
5 girls texting under their desk, and
2 guys throwing paper airplanes.

One of the paper airplanes soared through the air and hit me in my face.
“Ouch!” I yelp, surprised. The barbies who have watched this whole thing happen shook from laughter, and the two boys look like they’re going to die from laughter.

Mr. Smith turned. “Is there anything you would like to tell us? Sophie?” I looked at him, trying to send the I-am-innocent look into his mind. Thank goodness he seemed to be getting it, he nodded and continued the lesson. I can’t help but sigh in relief.
The bell rang. I gathered my things and stuff them into my backpack, even my destroyed textbook. Maybe if I tried hard enough, I can erase it all, or at least as much as I could as my pathetic final defense against the malignant. They left, yelled goodbyes to Mr.Smith and  Angela the barbie walked out of the classroom with a satisfied smirk on her face. 
“Sophie? Can you stay with me for a few minutes?” Mr.Smith asks.
“Um..sure!” I panicked. Did he notice it? What should I do? How do I explain this whole thing?
“Alright, Sophie. I actually just wanted to tell you that I nominated you for the Best Student of the Year award. You’re new in school so you might not know it, but it is only for the best students. So far you have done great, and your only here for 3 months!” He grinned at me. As if he did me a huge favor, but I don’t care about this award. I know...he is like the wise old man archetype in stories, right?  I mean look at his white beard like Gandalf, and his wise blue eyes like Dumbledore…but the thing is, I feel guilty, not telling him about the conversation I accidentally heard in the bathroom on Friday.“Oh. Thank you, Mr.Smith.” I forced myself to smile at his earnestness. I did nothing and I didn’t lie. I just didn’t tell.

“How are you doing so far? You like San Jose?” He asks.
“Well, it’s only been 4 months, but I like the sun and the air here!” I grinned, hoping that he would not see my I-need-to-get-out-of-here-this-is-weird look, and he said nothing and chuckled. Even his chuckles sounded like Santa’s.
“That’s fantastic! For more sunshine, I recommend Santa Cruz!”  Just as I was thinking of how exactly I should response, the bell rang. Yipee! This is an awkward conversation though there is nothing to feel awkward for. Perhaps it was because how I knew what happened to his missing wallet on Friday?
“Oh. Have to go! Bye Mr.Smith!” I walked away quickly, hurrying to my second-period class, P.E.
I walked along the crowded hallway, pushing, bumping into students on the way. Would my life be just alright, would be fine if I go with the “flow”? How exactly would my choice difference me from others? Would going against the flow make me weird? Unusual? I doubt it. I can’t understand how it could. But this is how life is. Go with the flow, be normal, or go against it, and be different, unusual, weird. This is life.

This go-with-the-flow thing, I understand. But who do I want to be? The one that goes with the flow? Or be who I am now? Do I want to have changes in my life? Do I? Or do I not?  Do I have the courage to stand up against Angela and her barbies? I once did, but not now. I once fought bravely, until I am deeply scarred and wounded, I fight and fight, climbing up from the ground, again and again, until I couldn’t. That was what I once did. And then came the time when I finally couldn’t stand up to face them, the time when all the courage I can muster is gone, the time when I couldn't do anything, like now.  I have had enough of all these crap. I cannot fight anymore. All I can do now is to keep myself from surrendering.
I got into the locker room, threw my backpack onto the ground, and started changing. The locker room, as usual, is cramped up with people changing, but this time, I realized that something’s different. The sound of chatter is getting more and more quiet, one by one the chatting girls quiet down and they all started enclosing me, circling me. I looked around me. They’re all staring at me, whether they were the barbies, the dolls, the nerds, the geeks, the normals. Whoever is in the locker room, they all stared at me, they all circled me. And the silence only continued for 30 seconds until Angela walked out of the crowd of girls surrounding me like she’s at a fashion show or something.

She stared at me, surrounded by her minions, a look of triumph on her face. “What? Do you think you’re better than me? Huh? Miss Sophie the Smarty Pants?” said Angela the barbie. Her voice soft and silky, friendly and encouraging. As if I’m at her stupid tea party with us and other stupid barbie and dolls, and all we are doing is casually talking about her new dress. I said nothing and I stared at her, bewildered. The Barbie continued, “Well, guys, what do you think? What should the punishment be? You know, for that b**** to act like she owned the world when in reality all she did is getting an -A on a frickin’ language art test”. Sure. I mean, in class, she complimented me, like she is a modest student. And now, I’m a b****. Just, wow. They said nothing and I said nothing and Angela stared at me and I stared back.

And then the words just came out of me like the CO2 escaping the bottle of soda that held them in like prisoners, and fizz. It rushed out, all in sudden, exploding.  “Wow. I mean, don’t you think your just jealous of me? Because of you getting a lower score than me on a test? And how exactly does getting an -A on a test makes me a b***h? Don’t you think you’re just a bit too naive for your age? I mean, isn’t that what 3 years do? Getting mad over something so small and minor like this, seriously, I expect more from you.” I said, my voice full of sarcasm.

Angela stared at me in shock, her expression bewildered, her brain seemed to be unable to process what I just said to her. Her minions stared at me in horror. To them, what I just did meant death. And I understood that. But what I did can’t be undone. Once words are spoken, they cannot be taken back. I knew that from the very beginning. “You….take that back you whore!” her voice now high, shrill and dangerous. But what have been spoken cannot be taken back, and even if I could, I will not. But yet there is still a chance to ask for mercy, for her forgiveness.

But I waved the possibility away. “What? Are you offended? Don’t know that you’ll get angry at something, what?  A w***e or a b***h said? Fine. I apologize for that.” a wide smirk formed slowly on my face.

Now I can’t help but wonder if I am going to overboard. Angela is so angry, I can almost see steam rising out of her delicate ears. It is silent again. She smirked. And then the next thing happened so fast, I almost can’t comprehend it. She reached out, her hand sliced through the air, and it landed hard and solid on my right cheek. The sound of her hand contacting my cheek, her skin contacting my skin vibrated, echoed through the silent room. She looked at her reddening palm and shrugged at the gaping crowd as if it was nothing.
The locker room is more silent than ever. They all looked at me, and to Angela. Then the pain on my face started to spread like wild fire. Her beady eyes stared at my face, her face a look of triumph, then the pain on my cheek have worsened, but I tried hard to resist the urge to hold my cheeks in my hands and cry out. She leaned in, inspecting the red print on my cheek that matches the one on her palm, her breath sour and rancid blowing onto my face. A small smile formed on her face. She is satisfied. I gritted my teeth, and stared at her, unshaken. She looked at me, clearly disappointed in my reaction, but she smiled, again. And then, looking at her minion, she spoke again, this time back to her disgusting sugar coated voice. “What are you guys waiting for? Go ahead and kill that b***h for me. I don’t want her disgusting blood on my hands.” she shrugged and she left the locker room as if what she had said is something as innocent as saying she likes pie.
 

The minions looked at me, clearly horrified. But one by one, instead of coming to my side, asking me if I am okay, they walked toward me, like zombies, and the one who’s leading the closening crowd is Jennifer. She shoved me hard into the shower. I slipped on the wet tiles and landed hard on my butt. And she closed on to me. “Who do you think you are? Insulting Angela? You little b****.” Jennifer kicked me, hard. Then, following Jennifer’s example, almost all the barbies, and dolls, one by one they kicked me, and all the normals and the geeks and the nerds looked at my tear streaked face when the barbies and the dolls walked toward my backpack. They are not done. 
They moved toward my backpack, Jennifer in the lead, holding it with only her thumb and her middle finger. Then she sashayed to the toilet and dumped all the contents in it into the toilet. Water soaked my paper, binder- everything I own. All my A’s, and papers and project. Everything. The only thing teachers liked me for. The A’s. The A+’s. When they are gone, I’ll probably be a nobody too. “Stop!” I said, my voice cracking. “Stop!” My voice came out quiet and squeaky against her thick French accent. 
“Huh? What did that little b***h say?” asked Jennifer. That dumb barbie. Always asking rhetorical questions.
“I said, stop!”. I yelled.
“Oh? Did she say to flush? Alright. I think so too!” She made a huge show of flushing the toilet and she looked down at the soaked, ruined paper. “Oops. I’m sorry.”. And she laughed. Her laugh is hollow too. Like her eyes. Even as she is laughing, it looked like to me, that she is not having any fun at all. What should I do? Do I want her back?
”Jennifer,” I said. “Jennifer.” I had to call her again before she snapped back from her stupid laughing trance.
“What? My dear?” she answered sarcastically.
“Do you really like doing this? Do you really like doing this to me, to other people? Are you really having fun?” I stood up from the ground, and a searing pain  went through my left leg and I nearly collapsed again from the pain, but I gritted my teeth and I walked toward her, and I went on. “Are you sure this is what you really want?” I asked her. Her ocean blue eyes looked at me for the first time, the first time after she had hurt me so deeply. But the look in her eyes….it was curiosity. 
“What? What do you mean, little b***h?” She asked, no longer looking at my papers. 

“Are you really sure what you are doing right now is what you want to be doing right now?” I asked, my voice no longer quavering, my legs no longer shaking. I walked toward her, she just stared. Surprised, I think. 
“I….”

“I know, Jennifer. I know what you want, and this is not what you really wanted. Is it true, that you were once treated like a piece of trash before I came? I’m sorry, but….why would you want to do this to me? You know what this feels like and yet you did this….to me, to others.” I am literally telling her how I feel. What I wanted to tell her the day she started talking to the barbies. This whole thing...it is genuine, and I wanted her to be back with me. But usually the truth is what most people don’t want to listen too, and I don’t expect her to answer me. “I….I don’t.” But, Jennifer answered me. Her voice now quavering and her eyes are now watery. Something’s back.
Her eyes. They are no longer empty. She’s real! She’s finally back! She swallowed and looked right into my eyes.  “I never wanted to bully you. I only did it so that I won’t be the person….I never wanted to betray you. But I don’t know how I could stop this. I just… .” Jennifer swallowed again, drops of tear slid down her cheeks.  She’s speaking the truth! I don’t know…

“It’s okay…” I tell her. They watched, astonished, shocked. One by one, they backed up away from us.
“Jennifer...listen to me. I don’t care anymore. I just want to know if you want to continue this. Continue to make people’s life miserable, continue to make them cry.” What do you want? Jennifer, tell me what you want so I can help you, so I can help you to escape from them.  She looked at me. She is no longer a stupid barbie. Her eyes are longer vacant and occupied by emptiness like they have been before, now it’s full of genuine tears and the locker room door burst open.
“What are you doing? Jennifer!” yelled Angela. She walked toward us, and there was Megan who stood next to her. She smirked at us. At Jennifer. At me. The sun shined outside the locker room, and I knew its hope. There is still hope. I held Jennifer’s hand in mine. “Do you trust me?” I looked into her eyes and held her hands tight.
 

“Yes.” For the first time, she smiled. It’s a real smile, with trust and joy. And from that second, I knew we will get out of here. We are both prisoners, but we won’t be, not after this day or the day on. We will be free, free from the cage that once held us in, the cage that once held our freedom and our joy.
I stood up and Jennifer did too. I look straight into Angela’s eyes. “You know what? I had enough of you. We’re getting out of here!” Angela looked at me and smiled. The music of victory played in my mind. I can see the door wide open behind her. I ran, with Jennifer’s hand held tight in mine, and I look at her face and I saw her looking at me too.
I found her in her eyes and I found her trust in me and I knew that we have to and we can get out of here. I bolted toward the door, 3 feet, 2 feet, time seemed to be ticking slowly. But the door was there and I can already feel the warmth of the sun on my face. And then we were there, I ran toward Angela, and I can see myself running past her into the sun. The music of victory went to the climax, the orchestra is swelling. We’re finally there! I know it! The right, the justice will always win, and it will be the evil that will fall. And we will not be an expectation. We fought so hard, right? And what we fought for is nothing wrong. It’s the truth, the justice the right we are fighting for.
Thump. The next thing I knew, I tripped on Angela’s outstretched leg and we fell hard onto the cement floor, but it’s okay, we can always climb back again. We failed, this time, but we can always climb back up again and we will be fine. Because this time I have Jennifer with me and she have me, the right always win….isn’t that what always happen in fairy tales, in stories?
I tried to climb up but instead, I fell hard.  Angela looked down onto my face. “Huh. So the little b***h found herself a b***h friend?” Beside me Jennifer is sobbing, her body shaking uncontrollably, so I grabbed her hand, which she held it tight. I tried to climb up again, still struggling. I can’t believe this. The sun is still shining, and the clouds are gone, but I’m not any better. I tried again and this time, I got up half way on my knees, but Angela kicked me in my face. My head contacted with the floor and the pain hurts so much and I feel like I can’t climb up again anymore.
The last thing I see before I passed out is the door closing out the sunlight, from me, from Jennifer. Jennifer started sobbing hysterically “We’re doomed! Angela will never forgive us!” next to me.
Then I understood something, and she knew it before I did.  Hope is gone.